#21. Aladdin and Silent Haircuts
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Guy Ritchie's live-action Aladdin splits the crew badly, and the argument underneath it turns out to be about the 1992 cartoon rather than the remake. Sonny gives it a thumbs down on Rotten Tomatoes: he loves the original, thinks Will Smith is genuinely delightful whenever he's allowed to be Will Smith — the Hitch-style scene coaching Aladdin on how to talk to Jasmine gets big laughs — but says the genie collapses whenever he's shoehorned into Robin Williams line readings, and Smith flatly "does not have a show tune voice." He also gripes that the additions bloat the film to two hours and ten minutes against the original's ninety, and that Guy Ritchie's speed ramping is distracting, though he concedes Jasmine's new "Speechless" number and the Prince Ali sequence are the two best-shot pieces in the movie. JVL, who cheerfully declares he hates the animated version, loved this one — partly because he took his daughters, popped up the AMC armrests, bought a tub of popcorn "as large as my six-year-old," and calls it a top-ten moviegoing experience, admitting he can't disentangle the film from the room the way he's always been unfairly hard on Return of the Jedi because he watched it at eleven with a 103-degree fever. He defends the remake's fixes: the Sultan is no longer a buffoon, Jafar is reimagined as an empire-builder ("he's Dick Cheney"), and giving the genie a love interest finally hands him an arc. Vic, who watched it alone beside a family and spent the screening strategically avoiding proximity to their kids, gives it an A-minus. The opening banter is prime stuff — JVL raging about WMATA closing every station south of Reagan National for the summer, a riff on Brigantine Castle and Jersey boardwalk haunted houses, Vic's son discovering Polish Lego knockoff Cobi and building the Bismarck, and Vic's Memorial Day "Suffering Bastard" cocktail — but the highlight is the haircut summit, in which Sonny reveals his stylist Donna of thirteen years, "my longest relationship with basically anyone," died suddenly of cancer, and his grief spirals into a genuinely inspired pitch for a silent, no-tipping, quiet-car barbershop that Vic insists would be valued in the billions and wants to name "Just the Tip." Box office covers Aladdin's $116 million four-day haul, John Wick 3 dropping 56.7 percent, and Sonny's autopsy of Booksmart's $6.9 million flop on 2,500 screens.
From the show notes
#cdata-section -------------- In this latest episode, sponsored by Calm, the gang reviews Guy Ritchie's Aladdin . JVL and Sonny discuss thei...
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00What would I have to do there's a cave of wonders bring me the lamp Oh great one who summons me I stand by my oath loyalty to wishes three I'm kidding rushes You ain't never had a friend like me
Vic00:00:44Hello and welcome to another edition of the sub beacon sponsored by calm the number one app for sleep meditation and relaxation I'm Victor Manis along with Sonny Bunch Jonathan V last I'd like to remind you the sub beacon is available on iTunes and Google Play Just look at our Podcast and search for sub beacon you'll easily find us Please subscribe tell your friends and leave her a view like listener Richard Fleer Who said quote as someone whose finest moviegoing experience was seeing aliens at a 10 p.m. Showing on opening night at the Marlton 8 JVL yeah, I feel like I am is that in New Jersey that that is my home thing Well, I think that's why he mentioned that he said I feel like I am squarely in the target demographic for this podcast The Marlton 8 gives us five stars. He says he also appreciates the references to great adventure and Brigantine Castle again my advice to all of you don't go to Brigantine Castle because they will chase you into the parking lot That's based on the commercial Also, my sister said you had to choose a weapon going in like you could pick a stake to drive it through the vampires heart That doesn't sound safe. It's unclear if that was true or not, but it was 1980
Sonny00:01:55Have you ever gone never to the branch? I wouldn't even go to the I wouldn't go anywhere Dear it you haven't you so you've never been to the the the scary attraction the two there were two
Vic00:02:05There was the Brigantine Castle the castle at Long Branch Anytime the commercials came on I would have the nervous pit in my stomach and you would always hear box Takata Dun-dun-dun, you know, and then that's it. I said not going too scary I'm scared because they're humans and but you know in retrospect I think a lot of it are they human though are they human a lot of it? I'd rather do I'd rather do animatronic thing or yeah, maybe they have real vampires, but I mean I imagine that it's the kind of thing that attracts Interesting kind of people who work there either people who are really weird or people who just want the cheap feels
JVL00:02:36No, but they were just summer or just summer. They were literally they were full of my understanding High school kids working summer jobs Brigantine Castle was just a summer job if you're a kid who lived in one of those short
Sonny00:02:48Yeah, but do you remember? Okay, I'll say this. I'll take your word for it. This thing is open during the summer Not during Halloween don't exist anymore
Vic00:02:55But but I would yeah, it's open. It's a summer thing because you know, everyone goes Down to the boardwalk, but it's on the boardwalk. Yes I went to the castle Dracula and Wildwood and that one Wildwood crest. No, no No, Wildwood and that was scary because but but you just have like it the great adventure Haunted castle if we could talk about that before we get no, we're not gonna talk about the fire But I will say you know what people did there they would they would just bang Yeah They would just you know is it somebody's job he would dip his hand in like ice cold water and just reach out into the darkness and grab and squeeze
JVL00:03:31Ooh, that was scary. Yeah, I think we know what's going on. They're just like prom night JVL, how are you? Great had a lovely to our 40-minute commute into the Washington Free Beacon offices this morning. Why cuz Washington area Metro has decided to shut down Where's all of the stations south of Reagan National Airport for the summer? That's right. Cuz I'm imagine in New York The subway system just saying you know what everything's south Of Times Square is just gonna be closed for the summer. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm Sonny. What time is it?
Vic00:04:05What sort of city is this? I? Was like I was wondering about this. I'm looking out to the east and looking to the north didn't realize that's exactly right Everything south of the airport. Yeah, that's right. That's great
Sonny00:04:17And here's basically all of the blue and yellow line both South both. Yeah. Yes That's that's a lot of that's a lot of station service, but when I first started working in DC I lived in Stafford And drove to the Springfield Metro and would take the Springfield Metro into the into the city and it was all that's all too I mean it was about it was a solid like two hours plus each way. Don't worry though
JVL00:04:40They have set up a shuttle service shuttles are always great where if you go to one of the outlying Stops and park there. They will take you to like the VRE or to some other
Sonny00:04:55Thing I was gonna ask how close are you to a VR? station
JVL00:05:02Six miles Can you park there? Yes
Sonny00:05:05Might not and that way re is is a nice and that would take you directly to the Union Station
JVL00:05:10The VRE takes you to Union Station, which then requires me to take another chain But the real problem is the VRE is designed for government workers. Mm-hmm. And so it it's hours of operation Basically end at like 6:30 or something like that Like if you're not if you ain't out of the office by then you are out of luck. There ain't no VR II Because government workers don't work path like five Yeah, so anyway, this is like but the good news is the good news JVL is
Vic00:05:38When they're done, they'll have repaired it a hundred percent. They don't know whether it'll never shut down again I'll never shut that again, and I'm sure they will be done on time
JVL00:05:48Is it that other major cities managed to have their public transit stations and operations working flawlessly for? decade after decade Decade after decade and this crap hole city can't even manage. I hate it so much. I hate this place so much I hey boys. How are you? I well, I hope you don't have to go in every day I think I'm gonna work from home the rest of the summer Only half kidding no from the beach or something. That would be nice. Yeah. Yeah, Sonny. What's going on? I'm good. You need a haircut. I do need a haircut. Can I make a suggestion? Sure get a haircut Cut it yourself. Oh, what do I look like? What do I look like a hobo? I cut my hair myself. Well, you're here
Vic00:06:34Yeah, he can't do that
JVL00:06:36But I went to the buzz cut because I wanted to cut my hair myself, but I don't want you to have a buzz Do you know why I wanted to cut my hair myself because I was tired of the relationships with hair cutters Can I tell you I can't I just like after like 35 years. I couldn't do it. I love this my
Vic00:06:53Hair people and I know all of them now and originally it's like I just want one person you and then now I walk no
JVL00:06:58I can get more votes. I got I want if I go in and I know everybody at the salon
Vic00:07:02I get more votes. I walk into Willie and Habib's barbershop, which is a great place I know everybody over there now. Hello, Jose
JVL00:07:10I feel like every so you had the Piaf salon that you used to go to Then you had the barbershop on Vermont Avenue that she would go to I tracked your hair. That was a good way. That was like barbershop person who really enjoys those relationships and I don't want any of it and I don't know about their lives so I've just after decades of having to put up with this False relationship that one has with the person cutting one's hair. I just thought you know what I can't do it anymore And I don't want to be rude
Vic00:07:43So I'll just stop going. It's only awkward when you stop and then you run into them somewhere Don't exist that that's awkward. I would just go across the street. So sorry this is I'm
Sonny00:07:54Interested that you guys brought this up because I have I've recently had some hairdresser
JVL00:07:58Strife hairdresser or barber hairdresser a woman
Sonny00:08:03She died. Oh I was me this I was overdose. I was seeing the the same Hair cutter for the last like 13 years literally my longest relationship with with basically anyone longer than marriage anyone a lot much longer than my marriage and She she died of cancer suddenly like very suddenly like She had been sick And hadn't told anyone and then like told people and was dead a week later So suddenly that I I like actually called to get a haircut and they were like We don't know how to tell you this but I was like what? What crazy so that was that was blow so I I'm basically not getting my haircut now because I like I don't know what to do
Vic00:08:54With myself. What about the other people? I don't know I got I well I had to get my haircut
Sonny00:08:58Because it had been like two months at that point I like needed so I one of the other guys there did it a nice gentleman named Israel Cut my hair did a great job did a fantastic job But I like I haven't been able to go back there because I don't know I just I don't know what to do with myself I like I'm I'm lost. I'm adrift. Can I make holes for you and Donna after 13 years together?
JVL00:09:18And here's you know why I am but so this is you would have loved you would have loved Donna
Sonny00:09:22Cuz you know what Donna never did talk to me. Yeah. Well, I was getting my haircut race. She never we We knew very very little about each other. I would occasionally show her pictures of the kids And it would be very very like casual chitchat when she worked you were when she worked she worked she was great And but the reason I liked the relationship so much was because of that There was like a very kind of professional wall there between us like it was like she cut the hair She did a great job, but I could find a quiet car version of a hair salon
Vic00:09:58Don't talk to me like like with uber like with uber. This is a great business idea. This is the note the no chitchat
Sonny00:10:05barber shop Who is it who likes the chitchat though?
JVL00:10:09Do you think there's a lot of people I think a lot of people like do you think it's customers or the?
Vic00:10:14That's a good question Because you would think that some people some barbers probably aren't interested in what the the other part I mean, I'm always asking questions. I'm not like well, you know what happened to me the other day, you know I'm just like how are you? Yeah, well, they're not gonna vote for You about yourself you learned that in first grade, but no, uh, I don't know. That's a good question
JVL00:10:34I think I think it's the people I think customers generally really like the chitchat in the relationship I think well, it's sunny and I have the outliers
Sonny00:10:42No, I think I think I think we are probably the outliers, but every business is based on outliers the the the Customers thinking about that McDonald's is based on outliers. Thank you. Thank you Malcolm Gladwell That's like the that's like the the big change Chains obviously need to appeal to everyone but the niche businesses every niche business. Sorry you missed the niche. I missed the next time No, I I think it's I think it's mostly the customers though. I think a hairdresser is like a form of cheap psychotherapist Who also does like another thing? So you just sit there and you talking you talking you talk the customer you think the customer?
JVL00:11:18Yeah, the customer talks and talks talks. Okay. So what if we start a that's actually that's not even me That is a silent salon where the tip is built into the price so that there's no tipping But then people will still end up tipping no, no we tell people hey no to no tipping in here You don't you're paying you're paying. We're gonna charge you a little bit more $25 for your haircut I charge a little bit more and that's the thing don't tip anybody They're not talking to you because they want you to like them and they want you to tip you they want you to tip them They they're just professional them easier doing their jobs because you're here to get this thing done It's like, you know clipping your nails you got to do it every couple weeks and so like just come in and do it and move on with Your day and you don't have to be burdened with a relationship with anybody you don't have to this is a great when you Come in like oh, well, you know Susie is working here, but I really don't like the way she does it and then you know Do I say I want to wait for Carol?
Sonny00:12:11But yeah, whatever he gets up one of our friends had had a problem with us Who he would occasionally have to have a talk with somebody who had seen him on TV and disagreed with it And he would he would not he would he he ended up stopping he refused to go to that place anymore Because he didn't want to have to like have it He didn't want to have to have like a political chat with not even his barber. I think was like a different different The look at this. What sort of what sort of revenue do you think this business could make so no annually? I don't I mean you're looking at mm-hmm dozens of customers
Vic00:12:44I'd say valuation in the billions valuation in the billions
Sonny00:12:48How much how much what what sort of premium could you charge for a no no chat hair talk? That's the real question here, right? Like the idea the idea isn't so much like obviously you want People who can cut hair well but the idea is that people are coming and they're paying a little bit more to not be bothered and to not have to tip and You're you're obsessed with this. Do you want a shipping thing? That doesn't that doesn't bother me. That doesn't bother me
Vic00:13:11I would make the option. How much are you supposed to tip? I would I would give 20% I would give the option of going extra tip and I'd call my business just the tip Okay
Sonny00:13:20Thank you. And so you're just paying your you just so the everything else is in the credit. The idea is the the the hair Cut then would be cost just the tip just so you would just be paying when you feel you whatever you pay
Vic00:13:32Whatever you think right? I go in every day. I just I've not every every three weeks That's perfect. Like number pay what you feel just the tip pay what you feel. That's perfect : just perfect. We'll take inches off Okay So, thank you so you need a haircut good luck with that Okay, okay good. I had someone help me I Cry for help. I I had interested I have Founcing that you'd find interesting which is My son has discovered another Lego competitor, but I wonder if you are familiar with this Oh the purpose of weapon in the weapon Chinese types is obviously drastically cheaper Versions of the same product right? Well, I mean there are subtle differences subtle differences, but they fit in the box fit So my son found on Amazon what he claimed was Lego But then upon further review is a company called Kobe. Mm-hmm. Oh, you know this from Poland
JVL00:14:27Yeah, and they have a couple licenses for like GI Joe tie style
Vic00:14:32Yes, so it's like Kobe, but it's like Lego for military. Yeah, so, you know how Lego doesn't do certain things Are they guns? Yeah, right exactly. So My son with all his although they've they've come around on that a little bit. Oh happy. Oh, that's good
JVL00:14:47Do they have like phasers phaser rifles and stuff? No, they even like, you know, they make actual like m16s that like wow
Vic00:14:54Oh, sure. Sure. Sure. Yeah. Um, so Kobe has like a Catalog there's a whole section on World War two. Yeah, like battleships and that's what he got
JVL00:15:03So did he get the Bismarck? Tell me about it. Okay. How I'll show you pictures later on What is the quality like compared cuz I've never owned Yes, one of these sets is the quality good. The quality is good. I
Vic00:15:15Took regular Lego and matched it together It's a it's a board of a tight feel when you snap it together and you have to it takes a little effort to put on And put up pull off But they look the same except for the little Tiny letters inside don't say Lego. They say Kobe
JVL00:15:30Greater the plastics are they the same grade plastic feel like they Kobe looks slightly duller. Yes, it does
Vic00:15:35Well, the colors are also the colors. I mean, but you're talking about military stuff So it's not gonna be anything too flashy. My son said that the the the pieces are not as elaborate as Lego Yeah, it's much more straightforward. But did he enjoy the set? He did I he's he's done I mean, it's not so there's no figures because it's you know, the battleship is you know, you're not gonna have not to scale It's not gonna be to scale so he did that but I thought that was pretty cool and Interesting that he chose the Bismarck. I know he said he was looking at like a dive bomber. I'm like, hmm Okay, a kublai a stucco a stucco a kublai. And I said, well, why don't we uh, what do we? Kitty hawk P 51 Mustang P 51 money you boats Sadly the Apple doesn't fall far. The Apple doesn't fall But but on a on a On a World War speaking of World War two on Memorial Day I made myself a cocktail from Derrick Brown's great history of cocktails ball There you go, I it's called the suffering bastard you would like this ready for this it's I'm already so yeah You're ready sold. It's part bourbon one part bourbon one part gin a dash of bitters a Squeeze of lime juice and topped off with ginger beer on the rocks and It was made in 1942 in Cairo for the Brits on the way to war on the way to Al Alamein That sounds terrible. It's delicious. I think the ginger beer does wonders But you don't notice like and like why would you mix gin and bourbon interestingly enough? So I follow his the portions and I thought there was clearly not enough So I doubled it and so and I ended up with two slugs bourbon two slugs gin and after two of those drinks
Sonny00:17:20Yeah, well after that you're not tasting much
Vic00:17:21Yeah, I said, you know what as I said to Kate if if this is what they serve the Brits Rama would have made it to the Suez He would have just made it all the way to I would have been completely lost in the desert speaking of being lost in The desert over the four-day weekend Aladdin took the top spot at the box office with a spellbinding 116 million dollars today - that's a very nice transition. Thank you I actually wanted to say wasting a lot of time in the desert because really that's how it felt like Followed by John wick chapter 3 Parabellum with 30 million again This is the four-day weekend and in third place Avengers endgame with 22 million Box-office thoughts. I didn't think that many people would want to see Aladdin
Sonny00:18:00I'd nobody thought that it was tracking. I mean it was tracking Okay, 75 to 85 million over the four-day weekend, but this is 50% over the lower bound of that for the four-day It's it's a big number. I don't I like the We get the movies we deserve and yeah, we're gonna we're gonna get to this in a minute But what we deserve is mediocrity that Preys on nostalgia and that's what we're gonna get for the rest of our lives That's that's what we that's what we deserve because that's what we pay for I I was glad to see John wick chapter 3 dropped Decently fifty six point seven percent over the three-day weekend, which is not bad it is It is well on its way to essentially quadruple quadrupling the gross of the original film So basically it doubling it basically not quite it's so it's it's not quite doubling to two more than doubled one And three is probably going to less than double two But if you look at them from one to three it basically doubled and doubled again
JVL00:19:02So John wick chapter six is gonna be the highest grossing movie in the history of movies as as this thing
Sonny00:19:08Exponentially kicks up after each release. We're gonna it will soon be the the highest grossing film of all time Speaking of which Avengers endgame We're all dropped only dropped 42 percent this weekend It is at two point six eight billion right now Which makes it needs about a hundred million more dollars that last? Hundred million is always the hardest that last that last time is gonna be is gonna be tough again I'm gonna grind it out. I I remain I remain surprised by how quickly this dropped You know after the after the initial I knew I knew it was gonna be a big drop because it had a opening weekend gross of three hundred fifty million dollars No, no movies gonna hold that very well, but still I'm I'm surprised Could they pull it now and just rerelease in August when August is like the doldrums are well there's no reason to pull it now, but you you Will see I would assume we will see using screens every but I mean, right? Yeah, it's only down I mean it dropped 400 screens this weekend. It's still it's still on 3,800 screens It's it's still it's still out there crazy The big box-office story this weekend was book smart. Yeah, I saw that number getting killed at the box
Vic00:20:21It's like it's super bad
Sonny00:20:25I think we could talk about book smart and the boys, which I know JVL is very Interested in seeing later this summer we could do those together But I boys the was it wasn't that the name of the one or the one I wasn't movie with the oh, I'm sorry
JVL00:20:39What was yeah, what was the super bad? I don't even know what it's called, but I'm into it
Sonny00:20:42That's the one I want to go tween super bad tween super bad. Okay. No the boys right was the Garth Ennis superhero Thing so but book smart. Yeah, you only did like what smart only gross six point nine million dollars now great It granted. It's a low-budget movie with that book smart book smart. See this is the problem Nobody knows what book smart is so book smart is directed by Olivia Wilde. It's basically lady super bad It's these two girls who are about to graduate high school go to college and they're hanging out with all their friends who they thought Were burnouts and they're finding out that they're also getting into great colleges and it is basically like it is upper-class white people Having having feelings about things which is which is a which is a it's actually There's there's a fascinating this is one of the reasons I kind of wanted to talk about it because there's a fascinating Intersectional split on this movie where a lot of people are like look at this movie starring women directed by a woman We have to celebrate it. Yay, and a lot of people of color like What do I do? Why what do I have to celebrate here? I'm not represented on the screen fascinating intersectionality my favorite thing But anyway, it got it did not do well at the box office 6.9 million dollars only 2700 dollars per screen because they put It in 2,500 screens They put this movie that nobody has heard of Like JVL I was I was DMing with a very important Hollywood friend of mine I was like, so what do you make a book smart? He's like, I didn't even know this was a thing until three days ago This and he a like he he and you have the the correct reaction here because they didn't do any advertising for it They did all online advertising They tried to save money by going that route and if you're gonna do that you put it on 800 screen You can do that But you put it on or you put it on Four screens you put it on four screens in New York and LA then you put it on 16 screens in New York and LA And DC and Chicago and then you put it on 800 screens and you put it on 2,500 screen But they the people at Annapurna have no idea how to sell these movies. I don't in a Purna It was a purna movie. I like I don't understand what they're doing over there question
Vic00:22:44Yeah, what rated is it? What right are it's an R rated film? I would think that would work
Sonny00:22:48But you know, I think really wants to know is are there boobies so you want to know if the if the high school girl
Vic00:22:54Girls get naked. Is that what you want to know? No, I'm just asking. I'm just I'm just asked I'm just only one way to find out asking for a friend Sonny asking for a friend if this movie were made in 1983
Sonny00:23:05Would have been a good movie. Yeah. Well if it was made in 1983, it would start two dudes. Oh
Vic00:23:11Because but I mean remember six sixteen candles, which is John Hughes and it's very sweet Also had you know, there are moments of gratuitous nudity in that which you'd be surprised, you know There's that they don't show it on the cable version But yeah The original there's a shower scene and not only this is there a shower scene But when you see it, it takes up the whole screen and Hughes uses the sound effect boing like that I mean you that you wouldn't see that. I have a question. Maybe I'm just old
JVL00:23:37So I believe that if you go back to say 1985 and in 1985 you start looking at movies from 1965 and 1975 None of them strike you as morally problematic. I think you probably have to go all the way back To something like breakfast at Tiffany's before, you know with the Chinese Jerry Lee Rooney, right? Right. Yeah, Mickey is Mickey Rooney. Yes
Vic00:24:02Jerry Lewis. Okay, although you can picture you can see it. Yeah, but something like like that before you find something
JVL00:24:09It's like you start going. Oh, this is icky We're from today's vantage point in 2019. I feel like that line is actually quite close to us
Sonny00:24:19Oh, you mean like alright, so you're saying that people in 1985? had to look back to the night to like the early 1960s to find things that were that were
JVL00:24:30morally troubling or politically or just literally like really culturally out of step and in Feel like they're from a different era that is no longer really polite. Sure I mean, I think that that era today is probably like I don't know like 1990 Yeah
Sonny00:24:50Yeah, I know JVL 1990s 29 years ago, okay Well, I Mean all right American part, but no, I think you if you get to if you get to American Pie, that's 1999. That's 20 years But I mean, I I do wonder how much of this
JVL00:25:05Maybe the line is constant. Maybe it's always like 30 years back makes you uncomfortable
Sonny00:25:09But you could I I think you can make the argument that the Judd Apatow revolution Is itself politically unpalatable today, right? 40-year-old version virgin Knocked up knocked up especially Would would would have trouble flying today, I don't know but even that movies like what 15 years old
JVL00:25:31Okay, so you do so you don't think that that that time horizon is shrinking
Sonny00:25:38It probably I mean look you will find you will find people complaining about everything
JVL00:25:43No, no, I understand that. There's always somebody on Twitter. Yeah, but I mean in the sort of general You know like the the the average type of viewer looking at I do not
Sonny00:25:53mean like a super work ish person I do I wonder what the reaction to the Internet spy camera scene in American Pie would be like today Right. Yeah like that. I mean like that's that's kind of creepy right like using the using the the Computer cam to watch the hot foreign exchange student get naked. That would be I think that would be people would look at that today I'm going
JVL00:26:18No, I wonder about that. I wonder about they would certainly look at the stuff from Revenge of the nerds. Yes. Well, no, there's
Sonny00:26:30There's well, there's a whole argument that the lead nerd actually rapes right because you think she thinks she's having sex with her boyfriend Right in the Darth Vader mask. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, and it's not obviously it's the nerd Carradine. I think was the thing, right?
Vic00:26:44It's the other Carradine. It's not David care. Oh He'd be into that too. May he rest in. Okay. Okay. No, I mean I
Sonny00:26:51It's an interesting question. I would have to think about it more There but You could you I would certainly there there's stuff in 1999 I think that you could certainly draw a line at and say like these things would not be would not would not fly today But I don't know and certainly not as like mass audience appeal funny, right?
JVL00:27:12Not like yeah, like American Pie just killed right American everybody thought hysterical and now there would be people who think it's funny But there will also be a lot of people who'd be kind of creeped by it. Yes
Vic00:27:23Now now now you have me thinking about that scene in Revenge of the Nerds Because is it I mean doesn't he take his mask off at the so they're having they're having sex in the moon bounce house thing Right. It's like that the fun house and then they do it at some point doesn't he take his mask off and then she's like He's like he's like selling pictures selling naked pictures they've taken illicitly Okay, my I had a thought about Aladdin does it did it? Do well because there were I wouldn't and when I went to the theater it was packed and there were a lot of kids Maybe they hadn't seen the original cartoon. So this is their first experience seeing and a lot of Because if I saw if having seen the original I didn't really see a purpose of you know, like why would you want to? It's the same exact movie. Yeah, which is
Sonny00:28:13Okay, why don't you give it a review Sonny so Aladdin I I'm not gonna describe the plot because if you've seen the original You know, you've seen you've seen this movie the the the new Guy Ritchie one has a bunch of Editions and flourishes that pushes the running time to an untenable two hours and ten minutes. The original was only 90 And the additions aren't strictly speaking necessary though. I do kind of like the idea of Jafar as a scheming Empire builder which which is is Clever than just having him be a vizier who wants to be a Sultan But They like the I thought he was really the plot is all the same Aladdin is a street rat from the city of Agrabah who Falls in love with the princess and in order to win her hand goes to the cave of wonders to release a genie Blah blah blah long story short, you know things go sideways the the problem with this movie is that When Will Smith is doing Will Smith things as the genie, it's actually very entertaining So there's a great there's a great scene in the film where and we're just gonna do spoilers again it's hard to spoil this movie because You've seen it already probably but the the the there's a great scene in the film where Will Smith is basically playing hitch He's playing like the matchmaker guy who like teaches Dorks how to get women and and in the palace He is trying to walk Aladdin through the steps of you know Getting Jasmine to notice him and pay attention to him and that stuff is all very good when will when Will Smith is doing Will Smith things it's fantastic I mean, maybe not fantastic, but it's at least entertaining. I laughed out loud several times because Will Smith is inherently funny He's got great charisma. He's got great charm a great timing The problem is when the movie tries to get him to do Robin Williams things And this is the fundamental flaw in this movie is that the only reason the movie exists is because of the Robin Williams cartoon So in order to capitalize on that you have to have him do a lot of Robin Williams things including like straight-up shot-for-shot thefts Line readings that sort of thing and when he is when he is jammed into that Robin Williams box It doesn't really work for me. It's just like I'm like, okay. I've seen this before Robin Williams. Did it better? He did he did he did he did a lot of this stuff better and You can tell that that Will Smith isn't entirely comfortable doing it The worst part of the movie is when Will Smith sings as opposed to when he kind of raps, right? Yeah, like when he is he's pitchy. I think is the term right? He's pitchy. He he just he's
Vic00:30:53He's flat maybe I don't know. He doesn't hit his notes. I actually wondered if it was even his voice the opening song
Sonny00:30:58It was weird. He does not have a show tune voice. He does not have a show tune voice. And look he is he's a he's An amazing performer. He's he is great with the rap songs Let him do that and he and he does he does some of that in this film and when he's doing that It's much better. It's much better. Neither does the kid who plays Aladdin for that
JVL00:31:18There's only one person in the movie with a show tune voice and it's the gal who plays jazz Jasmine, right Jasmine
Sonny00:31:23The person who plays Jasmine is great and it's it's unfortunate that they give her the worst song The girl power I'm not gonna be silent numbers The original Here's here's the problem. The numbers themselves are bad, but they're the only ones that are actually shot interestingly So like I actually think the way that Guy Ritchie shoots those those two numbers is more interesting because he actually is allowed to do something Yeah On his original right because it's original. Yeah, but the songs themselves are
JVL00:31:57They are better than everything else in Aladdin because the music the soundtrack to the original music to Aladdin is trash
Sonny00:32:04Oh, no, Aladdin has great songs. You're crazy. The original Aladdin has great songs
Vic00:32:11That's good, I hope that is very show tootie
Sonny00:32:15Okay, the fact that we didn't get a Prince Ali reprise is really one of the saddest parts of the film I wanted that Jafar to sing about Oh, Prince Ali being a fake. He doesn't say that Yeah, so anyway, I this movie this movie once again We get we get the movies we deserve and the movies we deserve right now are our ripoff live-action versions of beloved Disney classics that That bring nothing new or original to the table and are overly long and are boring And like have flashes of really interesting stuff in them that don't get explored because we just need to Keep doing the same thing over and over again, and it's really frustrating. Are you saying that there's gonna be a
Vic00:32:58live version of Little Mermaid
JVL00:33:01No, that's in production. Is it I believe if it's not in production is on the slate We so Mulan is also right Mulan. I think is in production. We will get all of them Yeah, well, we will get literally all of them the every there will be a live-action the rescuers down under
Sonny00:33:23Because it was sad the Yeah, so I I don't care for this movie and I am Disappointed that it did this much business because the Lion King which comes out in a couple months is gonna do three times as much business It's gonna it's gonna grow six hundred seven hundred million. I keep on thinking the Lion King already came out. No. Well, it did It came out in 1994. I mean
Vic00:33:48John Favreau is John Favreau's it hasn't come out yet. Okay. I think it's interesting that They spent a considerable amount of time. I thought trying to explain how wishes work and don't work, right? It's like the version of having to explain time travel. They go through out of the way, but look what counts what doesn't count But if you ask me if I had my three wishes What would your three wishes be that one was is to be well endowed with wisdom? The second one would be an end for gout Around them not just mine but world gout and end to world gout and the third one would be for inner peace and calm JVL
JVL00:34:23Calm calm our sponsor that we love equally like all of other ones But it's secretly our favorite or at least my favorite is back calm calm is a sleep app for your phone and you download it and you get a giant library of guided meditations and breathing exercises There's even now a special tab for naps so if you just you just decide I want to do a 10-minute nap or a 15-minute nap or a 30-minute nap and you Pop on the one you want and they will Sort of talk you through relaxation then give you calming sounds and then sort of calmly wake you up with like building nature It's so great. And the best part is the sleep stories, which is what we use in our family for our kids I took my two girls to see Aladdin yesterday and then I brought them home and plied them with chicken nuggets from chick-fil-a and Then I let them stay up and watch a ton of living Maddie and then I gave them ice cream and cookies and then I tried putting them to bed And so I I went back up about 30 minutes later when I heard them running around together and I said, what are you doing? And favorite said to me We can't sleep. We don't have our sleep stories because I had tucked them in without putting on calm calm like an idiot So I tucked them back into bed and I I said, who do you want to listen to today? And she said they said you picked at a you pick and so this is what hand to God This is what I put on for them last night And I played for them Tamara's Little Mermaid So I went back downstairs to work and I came up five minutes later to check on them and these Ramy little creatures Who I applied with sugar and and screen time and all this stuff were stone dead asleep That's amazing because that's the magic of calm calm. It's so great So right now sub beacon listeners get 25% off of a calm premium subscription at calm comm slash sub beacon No - that's C a LM comm slash sub beacon 40 million people have downloaded calm calm. I think I have personally sold like 700 of those subscriptions Find out why at calm comm slash sub beacon today. It's great Thank You JVL
Vic00:37:00You do such a good job with that. Thank you. Well, it's it's easy when you love them you believe absolutely What did you think about Aladdin?
JVL00:37:09So, uh, I loved it really, but this is uh, I Loved it because it reminded me of the power of the theater going experience So I took my girls we do not go and see a lot of movies with our kids Because the age disparity is too large and it just becomes complicated But yesterday I had I had the girls they wanted to see Aladdin and so I took them to the theater with me We popped up the armrests in the AMC. I bought them a tub of popcorn that is as large as my six-year-old and We just sat and they like curled into my my arms as we watched Aladdin and it was top-notch Ten theater going experiences. Wow Look at that
Sonny00:37:59But but but then so I but it has nothing to do with the movie so but that's exactly right
JVL00:38:04But here's the thing. I can't even disentangle the two in my mind and I think that this happens to people more often than They think I have always thought that I was harder on Return of the Jedi than I would have been Because when I went to see Return of the Jedi is like an 11 year old I was Insanely sick like you know I went to the theater not feeling great and came out of the theater with like a hundred and three degree
Sonny00:38:28Temperature and so like it just has always color you associated right and there's nothing to do with the Ewoks the the crowded theater in New Jersey who saw who saw that with you? Thank you the zone the zone of infection, right?
Vic00:38:43There's a scene in that movie too. Isn't there an outbreak?
Sonny00:38:47Particulates you get you if you if we had a photo of that if that theater right now there would be a hot Zone and just like radiating disease
Vic00:38:56You know what screw them we're gonna see return of the Jedi it's big
JVL00:39:01But but anyway, I for the first like 30 minutes I was sitting in my seat rolling my eyes and by the end I was as happy as I have ever been in my entire life and but this is a thing which is Different in a theater. Look I have watched movies at home with my girls a hundred times It is different when you are sitting in a communal experience With people around you on a screen the size of a building. It's different There is nothing you can do at home to recreate it no matter how many inches your television is no matter how many pixels per square inch it has it's different being in a communal shared experience and this was a a Very real reminder to me of that and I because that I loved it There were things I disagree that it's that it is the same movie. I think they fixed a bunch of Narrative and thematic problems from the original because the I hate the original
Sonny00:39:57Oh see this is well, this is where you're wrong because the original hate is wrong I don't I don't care for the original. I don't think it holds up right? I love the original. When's the last time you saw it?
JVL00:40:07Probably two weeks ago. Oh, I watch it. I watch it about I watch it about every three weeks So is it on rotation in your house?
Sonny00:40:14It's Aladdin in between suck Aladdin Cinderella Sleeping no not Sleeping Beauty Aladdin Cinderella And Moana are basically the four though, right? We tried to introduce shuffle We tried to introduce Peter Pan this weekend big flop Peter Pan blows
JVL00:40:31Peter Pan is boring as a lame lame movie our our daughter
Sonny00:40:35Our daughter our daughter came into the kitchen while we were making dinner because this is what we do while she watches TV on Sunday Or watches them. We have like a Sunday movie that she gets to watch and she she literally came to us was like This is boring. I was like, okay. Well, I guess we're not watching any more of this daddy. Why? Don't you put on the bicycle thief?
JVL00:40:56Daddy, I want to see the seven samurai daddy. Daddy. Where's dr. Strangelove? That was funny So why are you giving me this kids fair?
Sonny00:41:05Also, yeah credibly racist Peter Pan there's like a whole song. There's a song called what makes the red man red? I'm gonna throw that out there
Vic00:41:15Hmm, then I don't remember that. I would say my experience seeing Aladdin in the theater was Me alone in a seat on one side of me is the wall and on the other side of me was a family It was like a little kid and I tried to stay away Like physically as far away as possible I mean, it's kind of weird if you're with a family and then you see this one dude come in and Cindy at the end You know and you're trying to see Aladdin really this guy alone is seeing Aladdin and at some point I think somebody one of the kids needs to go to the bathroom and she had the whole all the children go up You know at the same time Leaving that kid alone, you know with me there So that was I was like awkward and I actually I saw where my seat was and I think I don't want to sit there Because you know, it's a family there And so I sat in the back and sure enough that seat was taken to could always just introduce it may defuse the situation
JVL00:42:10By introducing yourself to the family and saying that you love children And then you'd be happy to watch their kids if they need to go to the bathroom or something
Vic00:42:18That's good. That's good. That that makes it totally not creepy. I'm right I'm taking notes now. That's that's good Leave me with your chill children. Okay Wait, wait, wait JVL. What are what are some of the plot points? Yeah. Yeah. Okay
JVL00:42:30So so the Sultan is one of the big problems of the original Movie because he's an idiot, right? He's a buffoon and he is not a relief. He is not a buffoon He has changed. I mean he is a perfectly normal honorable guy in this Jafar in this has motivation that he is the dark side the the reorientation of Jafar As a guy who himself was like Aladdin and has pursued not the path of like Robin Hood ish Like Seth Rogen. I mean Aladdin is the Seth Rogen version of himself and Jafar is the Anakin Skywalker version of himself or the Palpatine version of himself and I really like that the genie by giving the genie a love interest Oh, yeah, that gives him an actual arc and something to do other than just like I want to be free Like why would you want to be free? Why would you choose to be? Powerless and mortal and powerless and fated to die instead of being immortal. Well, there's only reason people there's only one reason people want to do that
Sonny00:43:30What's the point of being immortal if you live in a in a in a can for 3,000 years hence the dilemma
JVL00:43:36It's better than being dead unless you have a reason to live in the outside world I thought they fixed a lot. I the movie the original animated movie I think Aladdin is much too purely a thief and here they they go out of their way to make him more Robin Hood ish And I have to say I
Sonny00:43:52never know but it's exactly as it's exactly the same there's this is it's exactly handing off of the dates and like the
JVL00:44:00Giving the kids of the bread and like pulling the kids out of the street. It's all the same So I would say in the animated version. I never really bought Aladdin and Jasmine together like what what what does he see in her other than the fact that she is The princess and what does she really see in him honestly and here I bought their chemistry totally I thought they were very good together. Yeah, I thought and I did not again I did not love the the fellow who plays Aladdin as a Singer I thought again. He just does not have a voice for what they were doing Was he actually dancing in those scenes where he's he's I do not believe so because you didn't get a lot of face shots Typically if if an actor is able to do the dancing you'll really they really make sure that you know, it's them And I the the musical numbers I the the Prince Ali Which I find in the animated version to be The worst number in the whole was just an overload because the nobulousness here in live-action. I thought was great
Vic00:44:59Yeah, I thought it was good and and did you disagree and no no no and Will Smith plays the band the the the excuse me The the leader what he called the you know, like the head of the band, you know
JVL00:45:10And so fantastic and I I agree with you completely about the Wilson when Will Smith is allowed to be Will Smith in the movie Everything is really great. Like it moves along all the stuff He has like the business that he and Aladdin do together is fantastic It is only when they shoehorn him into like hitting the beats of the Robin Williams stuff. They can't do that I just wish we'd had more Will Smith. I died. You know what? I thought the whole thing was was great. Is Javaris drowsy in I what this is all I mean it because he now wants an empire. He wants to be recognized by history He isn't just like I want to have the kingdoms. I can twirl my moustache. No, no, it seems it seems very clear This is the sort of movie. He's Dick Cheney right that if you would have made if you had made it into the city of Agrabah
Sonny00:45:58If you would made it in 2008 or 2009 or so people would have been like this movie's about the Iraq war I mean it would write in it But it's it's very it but this is one of my problems with the character in the way in the way that they are doing What it feels out of date? It feels it feels like a critique of something that his I like it because I don't I think
JVL00:46:22It's so far out of date that actually it's not meant Yeah, it didn't actually occur to me it is a critique of Straussianism maybe and and neo-conservatism But not of anything because everything I and I love the little tiny I love very tiny Easter eggs And when they are out in the sand and the magic carpet is building a sandcastle and then they cut back and the sandcastle that The carpet has built is the Cinderella Disney Castle and it tosses sand over it in an arc like the oak I miss that very tiny grace. No, I I thought it was great I'm more I could have used more Aladdin running in place if Aladdin
Vic00:47:01That's the other thing, you know because it's Guy Ritchie There's all the speed ramping that they do particularly for the dance number the dance numbers you see and I can't resist that
Sonny00:47:11It is it's it was distracting to me. It was very very that I found distracting the speed ramping
JVL00:47:18yeah, but but as you said Sonny the the only scenes that the entire movie which bear any of his Fingerprints are the two original numbers where he is clearly allowed off the leash to do stuff
Sonny00:47:29And they are the two best shot pieces in the entire movie 100% the two most interesting things like the again Her song is dumb and like this like lame girl power. I'm gonna be listened to now But like sing some more I didn't get a feel for that but the but but the way it is shot with the the people kind of like Disappearing into smoke and her you know like kind of coming at The camera I I thought it was really I thought it was actually really well done The only other part that felt like a Guy Ritchie movie was the chase through the streets Yeah near the beginning with with all that parkour stuff I mean, this is the park or so the problem. The problem is that Guy Ritchie is not a door I I am I am annoyed that Guy Ritchie keeps making big movies like this because he should be making small movies that are more stylized and No, this is in the bad. This is in the bad Guy Ritchie realm as You know, Trav King Arthur is a bad movie that audience is hated Everybody who watches it now that audience is hated and that history will forget about will put on the ash heap
JVL00:48:36This is this is another another case though where our taste the movie is very good at What it is trying to do I believe So we walk out of the movie and I say to my girls. So what was your favorite part? And they both say oh The part where Jasmine was singing about her voice. There you go. Okay. Why why did you like that? And favorite looks at me and said she was just so confident and brave and powerful
Vic00:49:08Right up there with Captain Marvel. This is so we we look down our noses and
JVL00:49:13But they are getting and so then I told her just remember you can't do math and you have to grow up to be a nurse
Sonny00:49:21Come on nothing I get nothing. I'm not gonna laugh at your sexist jokes. That's inappropriate
Vic00:49:27You know what? I like that. That was well represented with like it takes place in An Arabian world and the actors I believe are There are a lot of actors who were Middle Eastern. So it's not like Heritage of heritage of hair. She's of hair. She's pretty I don't know about her She's a but but the other there's a bunch of Iranian the far the handmaiden gal is from Padra. Yeah, I love her. She's great. Yeah, I thought she was very fun at first. I thought that was Jenny From venom. I forget her name venom. You've been a
JVL00:50:02She's not she has a she could be Anne Hathaway's older sister who Nessim Pedro. Yeah, they have like their eyes They both have very large features. Yeah. Yeah, but but I liked it. It was great
Vic00:50:15It reminded me of the exact opposite which is Scarface another movie I love but which I think the only ethnicity not represented Scarface was Cuba Cuban I think everybody else was what's there? Uh, you didn't like it. I don't know. I like that I was gonna say it was still very sweet at the end I still walked away and I was like, what did you think kids and they're like, who are you? Oh I want some candy. I got some candy left over. I left it in my van But I give it I give it an A-minus. I give it a minus I thought did you offer any of the kids the popcorn on your lap? Terrible, which is something I have to say so it's a mean job. Oh, okay
JVL00:50:49I was as I was trapped in traffic this morning. I sort of Randomly picked an old episode I listened to Alita Battle Angel and I I listened to 30 minutes of you explaining why yeah
Vic00:50:57I actually believe Alita Battle Angel is perfectly fine. It's pretty good. Yeah
JVL00:51:01Much better than this and you look at so all the things you said you liked about this you can't well you were able to Just say I really liked the action sequence when they were playing roller deathball And so that salvaged the movie for me and now with this you can't look at the the Will Smith Stuff that did you did like and the numbers that you thought were interestingly shot and say yeah at the end of the day
Sonny00:51:21Look there there are If you had to give a thumbs up or a thumbs down, what would you give it? Here's here. I already gave it a thumbs down on Rotten Tomatoes where I'm a certified critic. The problem again The problem with the film is that it is it only exists in comparison to the original It does not exist on its own as its own thing. It only exists in conversation with that first film And I think it's better. I much much prefer the first time. I think this is better in every single way You you you are wrong about the cartoon Aladdin is the problem so you have a different Problem Vic, which is better. I love them both
JVL00:51:55We need John Podhoretz to break the tie John can you please text me as soon as you listen to this and give me your answer? Thank you
Vic00:52:02No, I I had but I had I mean I had low expectations for the The Aladdin movie I the first one I was studying abroad and went to the theater with a bunch of what was your name? Oh Fast Sonny punch. Okay. Do we have any other Aladdin Guy Ritchie thoughts, please? I
JVL00:52:22Do I think we should do a ranking of Of Aladdin's I'm just gonna let I am cartoon is number one Go ahead. I don't have I did a ranking Myself and I don't want to prejudge anybody by giving you the category. Okay Number one Aladdin number two Cinderella number three Maleficent number four Beauty and the Beast number five 101 Dalmatians. What about Jungle Book? You clearly haven't solved the rule Oh, is it the princesses?
Vic00:52:59heroines Heroines, it's a ranking of heroines. Okay. Thank you For you. Yes, you did another one before that was extremely also a very risque Ranking with no mention of the category, but in any event, I don't remember that
JVL00:53:14I will see no I do, you know, I vaguely I remember the idea for that, but I don't remember the day
Vic00:53:17All right, Sonny anything else? No, okay
Sonny00:53:21Who's excited? Godzilla I've already seen it. Oh what? I saw it yesterday Yesterday today two days ago. Yeah. Yeah, and well, you'll see my review on Friday. I Can't believe it
Vic00:53:35Move along. You're gonna make me wait. What but isn't isn't Rocketman this weekend, too?
JVL00:53:42Yes, I think it's a no-brainer what I'm seeing so we have to do a rocket
Vic00:53:47Yes, I want to see Rocketman, but I we also have to do the Godzilla episode
JVL00:53:52So which one do we want to do next week? And then which one do we want to do the week after? It's true one or the other
Sonny00:53:57I'm happy to do them whatever order you want. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, let's figure this figure it out. I'm excited
JVL00:54:03I think I'm not excited to see Godzilla come to Twitter and tell Sonny and Vic what you want us to do next week Set up a little the audience has no power over me. Okay?
Vic00:54:13Thank you, Sonny Corrections additions shoutouts. I've known pass our friend Doug ten Apple is he's self-publishing The new earthworm Jim book and he's on indiegogo Looking for support. So I'll tweet that link out. My son just finished the Bigfoot bill book. He loved it So I guess we can move on to the killing joke now, so that's good Okay, that's all the time. We're giving to this episode questions comments complaints Compliments tweet us at Victorino Mattis at Sonny Bunch Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play just type in sub beacon at our podcasts We're there leave a review tell your friends until next time It used to be that at that now, it's higher JVL anything thoughts something
JVL00:55:08Nothing playoff baseball is underway out in Northern, Virginia that's where We flashers team stole their first-round game a game. They absolutely deserved to lose His team not very good Twice and twice in one game Runners were on second and third there was a passed ball the runner from third scored the catcher then Tossed the ball back to the pitcher and then turned his back and walked away while the pitcher turned his back and walked away and The kid who had been on second and gone to third then was like yoink and went home It's one thing for that to happen once in a season Because you think like, you know, your team gets burned like that and you remember this happened in back-to-back innings Because there are a bunch of kids on flashes team who are not super into baseball But but they Somehow gutted out a first-round win and now they face the number one overall seed this evening Almost no chance. They win. They're gonna go home. Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fun
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