#31. Scary Stories and Maybe Dora?
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A broken pact sets up the whole episode: the three had fist-bumped on air agreeing to see Dora and the Lost City of Gold, and only JVL actually went, leaving him to deliver a solo "big boy review" while Sonny and Vic report on Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark instead. JVL's Dora verdict is the surprise of the show — he pegs it as a future cult classic, "kind of f*ing insane," with Isabela Moner playing Dora as a girl who might genuinely be touched in the head (everyone around her exchanges looks when she addresses the camera), a Danny Trejo-voiced monkey whose sudden English hints she's been making it all up, and a 90-second hallucinogenic sequence where the live actors dissolve into Dora cartoon animation. Sonny spends most of his Scary Stories review on politics rather than scares, marveling that a Guillermo del Toro-produced kids' horror movie is set in 1968 with Nixon on every background television, a mill poisoning the town's children, a racist cop played by Gil Bellows, and a Mexican-American character called a wetback — only to resolve in what he calls a "wishy-washy neoliberal" ending where the draft dodger cheerfully boards the bus to Vietnam. Vic gives it an A-minus on behalf of his thirteen-year-old self while docking it for CGI overkill ("too many spiders"), preferring the practical-effects spider bite in The Believers, and insisting he has no sympathy for Stella since she stole from the ghost in the first place. Box office talk covers Hobbs and Shaw holding first at $25 million, Dora's disappointing $17 million, and a grim autopsy of The Kitchen's $5.5 million on a $40 million budget alongside Melissa McCarthy's post-Spy losing streak. The banter runs from deep-fried deviled eggs at a Dallas country club and Sonny's $67 Allen Edmonds suede sneakers (Sambas are "dead to me") to Vic's horror at a hymnal rewriting "Faith of Our Fathers" as "A Living Faith," JVL discovering a Bob Ross episode on Calm, and a long detour through Creepshow, the John Landis helicopter deaths on Twilight Zone: The Movie, and Philadelphia's own Elvira knockoff, Stella the Man-Eater from Manayunk.
From the show notes
#cdata-section -------------- In this episode, sponsored by Blinds.com and Calm, Sonny and Vic discuss Scary St...
Full transcript
JVL00:00:00Sarah Bellows's book, where the stories write themselves and it all comes alive.
Vic00:00:16The Jingleman is coming. Hello and welcome to another edition of the Sub-Beacon, sponsored by Blinds.com and Calm, the number one app for sleep meditation and relaxation. I'm Victor Matus along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last. I'd like to remind you the Sub-Beacon is available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. Just look at our podcast, search for Sub-Beacon, you'll easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, and leave a review. Gentlemen, how are we? JVL,
JVL00:00:57what's going on? Nothing. We got flat. Live in studio for the first time. Not outside of. In studio. Live on the other side. On the
Sonny00:01:05premises. The studio. Just outside Studio 2A. He's reachable if we need to bring him in. If we
JVL00:01:10need to bring him in for. If we need some relief. Some hot talk about whether or not we're in favor of the computerized strike zones or I don't know. Well, I told him he could use my computer,
Vic00:01:20the filter's off. Okay. So that's all I've got. Sonny, how are you, sir? Good. Good. I was in
Sonny00:01:29Dallas last week for a couple of days at my new, my new place of business. It was very exciting. One thing I wanted to share with the class, we, we went to, the food was great. Obviously, we got barbecue one day. We had another, another like caterer second day for lunch. One of the evening excursions was to a country club and we had very nice food. It was, it was like just a really great spread. But there was, there was this one item that I need to describe to you because I, I've never seen anything quite like it. And this is because I've not been to many county fairs, I guess. But the, the, there was a, there was a plate of deviled eggs.
Vic00:02:11Oh yeah. I love deviled eggs. I love deviled eggs. Why don't you like deviled eggs?
Sonny00:02:15Well, they have mayo. I think you're into mayo, right? Yeah, they do. Delicious. You might've liked these ones because there was no mayo in the little topping, but the, the egg itself had been coated in breading and fried, deep fried. So it was like, it was like a crunchy, it was like a Scotch egg. It was like a crunchy deviled egg that had been fried. And the, the, the dressing on top actually was more mustardy than mayo-y. It was like kind of the, I don't do mustard either. You don't do mustard either. You would not do anything. You would not have liked this, but it was very, it was very like, it was, it was just this, it was, it was strange. It was unusual. But I, but I, but I ate like 10 of them. So I obviously didn't.
Vic00:02:54You were like cool hand Luke.
Sonny00:02:56I was like, Oh, what's this? What's this fried deviled? Deviled egg.
Vic00:03:00Was there alcohol involved, which caused the 10 a devouring?
Sonny00:03:06There was alcohol, but I, I, I, I limited myself to two Manhattans and a glass of port.
JVL00:03:12What shoes did you wear to this, to this excursion? You didn't wear old shoes, did you?
Sonny00:03:17I did wear old shoes to that. I didn't, I didn't get my new shoes till, till after. What? You got new shoes? What are you talking about? Give us a shoe update. Come on, what'd you get? Let me tell you, Allen Edmonds, another great clearance sale, clearance sale. Got some, got some new sneakers.
Vic00:03:31Wow, look at those. He brought them to me.
Sonny00:03:34Are they suede? They're suede. I didn't even. How much did they cost? Like $67. That is a deal. That's a summer deal. Totally, it's a great deal.
Vic00:03:41I didn't even notice your shoes, Sonny, because.
Sonny00:03:43They were like 70% off. It was fantastic. Question.
JVL00:03:46Yes. How do they compare to your classic Sambas? Because I got to say, I feel like Sonny putting on Allen Edwards flat sneakers that are made of suede. Whatever. Anthony Edwards. Anthony Edwards. Suede sneakers. C3PO. Is a like, oh, Sonny is an old person now. Because in my view, Sonny is the guy who's always wearing the Sambas.
Sonny00:04:08Yeah, well, the Sambas don't really like match with, you know, like Sambas match with everything. No, they don't, though, is the thing. Anyway, I'm over Sambas. Sambas are dead to me.
JVL00:04:21Sambas are.
Sonny00:04:21You've put away such childish things. I have a box. I have a box of brand new Sambas in the back of my closet that will that I'll break out.
Vic00:04:28But one of these days you mentioned the new shoes, but I didn't even notice it. Because how often do you ever look at another man's shoes?
Sonny00:04:33Never.
Vic00:04:35Shawshank.
JVL00:04:35Oh, I thought you were talking about Larry Craig. Touching.
Vic00:04:40Wide stance. Wide stance.
JVL00:04:43I'm a wide stance guy.
Vic00:04:44Well, good for you, Sonny. I was going to say to go back really briefly to what you ate. Listeners can chime in, but it sounds like it's a riff on a scotch egg.
Sonny00:04:54What's a scotch egg?
Vic00:04:55It's kind of like that. It was like a breading on the outside. And it's, you know, it's fried. It's yokey. No, but it wasn't yokey at all. The inside was not yokey at all. It was like, I mean, it was like a deviled egg. So it's a riff.
Sonny00:05:05It was like a deviled egg, except it had been deep fried.
JVL00:05:06Has the egg been cut in half? Yes. Okay. And then fried. Yes. Okay.
Sonny00:05:12So it had been hard-boiled. Hard-boiled. Cut in half. Cut in half. Turned into deviled. The topping was made with the, and then it was, I actually don't really know how you make a deviled egg. I just buy them at the store.
Vic00:05:25You scoop out the egg, the yolk itself.
Sonny00:05:28Yeah, whatever you want to. But how do you, but like, do you, so do you hard-boil it and then like kind of cut around it to peel? I don't, where does, where does the.
Vic00:05:35I'm going to say yes. And then you could put your relish or oftentimes paprika. That's the basic way to do it.
Sonny00:05:40So good.
Vic00:05:41All of these things are great. You don't have paprika or relish. Disgusting.
Sonny00:05:45You, you and your, your cheese powder and you, you, you can't handle all American condiments
Vic00:05:52like ketchup, mayo, mustard, mayo, relish, cut, cut all American out of that. If you eat a hot dog, what is it? Just plain? Of course.
Sonny00:06:01Have you ever eaten a hot dog? Yeah, I'll eat a hot dog. I mean, it's like full of murder mystery meat.
JVL00:06:06Yeah, but see, and now that I'm keto, believe me, I'm all, I feel bad about eating. Are you a keto now? I'm sorry. What? What? This is the, this is the.
Vic00:06:14So you're just eating the, you're just eating the dog, not even the bun. Yeah. Just taking that in there. Just a banger in the mouth.
JVL00:06:22That's, that's how I, I, I grilled myself up two fantastic Kirkland brand bratwurst for breakfast this morning, since it's just me and Flash and there are no rules and we can do whatever we want. I grilled them up. It was so good for breakfast. You know what's really good on it? Mustard. Absolutely.
Sonny00:06:37Thank you, Sonny. You guys disgust me. Mustard, ketchup. The entire German nation. Horrifying.
Vic00:06:42That's how they eat it.
JVL00:06:43All of those things.
Sonny00:06:44I don't even like having them in my refrigerator. Bizarre. Did you put cheese powder on, on the sausages? Wow.
JVL00:06:51I did not. But, uh, they're not sausages. These are bratwursts. Well, did you get a brat?
Sonny00:06:55A brat is just, a brat is just a sausage. It's not a sausage, is it? It's, it's a kind of sausage. It's a kind of sausage. Okay. Very distinct flavor. Do you put, do you put, do you put the cheese powder on your, do you make scrambled eggs? No. I like scrambled eggs. I just don't make them. I'm thinking, like, scrambled eggs with the cheese powder. That would be pretty good. That would be decadent. I bet it would be pretty good. Decadent. So, anyway. All right, good chat.
JVL00:07:18Victorino, how are you? I'm fine.
Vic00:07:20Yeah? Happy Assumption Day, JVL.
JVL00:07:22I went to Vigil Mass last night. How about you? So did I.
Vic00:07:25Very good for our clerical. Sonny, when did you go?
JVL00:07:28Two. So let me say this. Sonny, the Assumption, Feast of the Assumption is about, would you just give me the figure, the person it's about. Go. He assumes it's about.
Vic00:07:44Multiple choice. Moab. So. On Sunday, right, we're at church and at St. Thomas More Cathedral, the 5 p.m., which is the last chance mass, right? That's it. 5 p.m. Sunday night. So go there and they come to the like the opening hymn, right? And they say, please turn to whatever. And the song is called A Living Faith. Do you know what I'm talking about here? You know what this is? So I said, oh, I never heard this.
JVL00:08:13This isn't even a gather hymn. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So, so, so then I go, hmm.
Vic00:08:20I said, what is this one? And then the melody starts and it's Faith of Our Fathers. But the name of the song is now A Living Faith. So I said, that's weird. Sonny's going crazy over here. It's like a living constitution. Well, yeah.
JVL00:08:35Very good.
Vic00:08:36How's that for deep pull? Excellent. They have a lot in common here. So the opening verse.
JVL00:08:41Sonny's going to pass out. Yeah, he is. He's actually going to black out.
Vic00:08:43The opening verse is actually Faith of Our Fathers, right? Fire, Dungeon, Sword, the whole thing. The second verse is a new one. Faith of Our Mothers. Oh, that's so good. And then the third verse, Faith of Our Sisters and Brothers, too.
JVL00:08:56What happened? What is happening here? Everybody's losing their minds. It's like the Quakers got hold of Catholicism.
Vic00:09:03No, it's bizarre. At which point, Kate actually stopped, and she literally said, she goes, excuse me. She just said, excuse me. And you know what? It's like, you know, it was so- Your father-in-law? His head would have exploded. Scanner style. No, scanner style. That's right.
JVL00:09:18This all harkens back to- What is happening? I remember in- Faith of Our Mothers. At my Quaker school, the only like- Quasi-religious hymn we were allowed to do was the Walk in the Light, the George Fox song. And there was like a big to-do among the teachers. I forget which grade I was in about, because there's a, you know, brothers all are we. Yes, yes. There was a big thing I remember the year they changed it. Let there be peace on earth. To brothers and sisters are we. And they were like, yeah.
Vic00:09:47It'll change again. Yeah. Sorry, Sonny. What I would just say, I would- At which point, I would much rather sing a Protestant song then. Then Living Faith. I would sing Bulwark, Bullhunt, speaking of Bulwark. Mighty Fortress, rather, and Rock of Ages. Speaking of rocks, over the weekend, Fast and Furious presents Hobbs and Shaw. A plus. A plus. No, it did not. Remained at the top of the box office with- It dropped 60%. No, it did not. $25 million.
Sonny00:10:20It dropped 58%.
Vic00:10:2151%, I believe, as of last night. They get to brag that they were- They get to brag that they were at the top of the box office for two weeks in a row. Followed by Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark with $21 million. And in third place, The Lion King with $20 million. And in fourth place, Dora and the Lost City of Gold with $17 million. Can you say increíble? Increíble. Muy bien. Do you ever have to watch that? No, I've never actually watched it.
Sonny00:10:52Because they pause. Right. Well, I said it, though, but that's the joke.
Vic00:10:55I said it, and then- You, as the viewer, you said it. Of course, we're not watching- None of us watched Dora. We all watched Scary Stories in the Dark, right? Everybody?
Sonny00:11:04Yeah, I watched that. Me too.
Vic00:11:06What time is it, Vic? It's 927.
JVL00:11:09Go f*** yourself. You guys didn't see Dora? Dude, I know we- We agreed we were going to see Dora. I know we fist bumped. We did it on air.
Vic00:11:15We fist bumped. We even fist bumped saying- You said, I got your back, but that was a joke.
Sonny00:11:20I'm not actually going to see that movie. You didn't actually go see it, did you?
JVL00:11:24100%.
Sonny00:11:24I mean, I kind of- I kind of assumed you wouldn't go see Scary Stories because, you know, you're afraid of ketchup.
Vic00:11:30Oh, you're sick.
Sonny00:11:32So you guys didn't go see Dora?
Vic00:11:33No. Who in the right mind? What a grown man. What 40-something-year-old man would go- You know, all the jokes. You know, all the jokes about the trench coats and the, you know- My jokes? I'm kidding. Gene, Gene, go into jail.
JVL00:11:47Well, look, you know, maybe I should have realized that the terms of your restraining order and or parole would have forbid you from going within 50 meters of a Dora screen.
Vic00:11:56I can't believe you saw it. So maybe- Well, you can tell us. Maybe I'll just do my own damn big boy review of Dora the Explorer.
JVL00:12:04Please do.
Vic00:12:06Let's, yeah, go for it.
JVL00:12:10Dora the Explorer is the updated live-action version of the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon. It fixes a lot of things that were wrong with the original, namely by giving Dora boobs. I don't know what else to say. No, it- Okay, so you guys didn't see it. It actually did reasonably well at the box office. $17 million.
Sonny00:12:31It is a very low-budget movie. It's a $50 million movie.
JVL00:12:34A minus cinnamon score. Cinnamon score. Cinnamon score. It passed the cinnamon challenge. It's very sweet. The general plot is that Dora goes to high school in Los Angeles with her cousin Diego. Her parents, who are played by Michael Peña and Eva Longoria, are archaeology professors. They are searching for the lost city of something, something. Zin. God, they are.
Sonny00:12:55The lost city of Zin. Parapata.
JVL00:12:58Are there monkeys in this movie? There is, in fact, a monkey. Is there a head-crushing monkey with, like, stone paddles? No. So it's not a Congo.
Vic00:13:05It's not Congo.
JVL00:13:07There's an animated monkey that looks kind of like Sonic from the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. So it looks real. Wait, wait.
Sonny00:13:16So it looks like Sonic from the movie or Sonic from the video game? Sonic from the movie. Oh, so scary. With, like, teeth.
JVL00:13:23So Dora, honestly, I think might be. It might become something of a cult classic because, so first of all, the demographics of it the first weekend were very interesting. Fifty-four percent of moviegoers were over the age of 25, which is weird. It is more of a nostalgia play than a kids' play. And it's kind of f***ing insane. So there are, oh, you don't have to bleep that. I can't believe this. Go ahead. So there are things that, so first of all, they could. They could conceive of the character of Dora as like a, this you will have to bleep, like a slightly f***ed Indiana Jones. Like she is a weird, she's at least on the spectrum and maybe is actually kind of touched. She talks to the camera and breaks the fourth wall. And when she does that, everybody else just kind of looks at each other like, what is she doing? So like when Dora is like, can you say delicioso, her parents look at each other like, oh God, she's doing it.
Vic00:14:26I was thinking that it might be a riff on, remember Brady Bunch, the movie, which actually worked in this sort of tongue-in-cheek way with Shelley Long and Gary Cole.
JVL00:14:38This kind of works in many ways, not all the ways.
Vic00:14:41If we did it like that, it would work.
JVL00:14:43So there's some of that going on. There is some of Dora, like, so for instance, Dora can talk to her monkey and can understand her monkey. Like in Congo. And everybody else thinks she's insane. So this is not one of those things. You know, in the cartoons, it's just like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Boots talks and Dora's muy delicioso or whatever. And everybody just sort of goes along with it. In this, everybody thinks she's insane. And you in the audience aren't quite sure whether or not she's sane or insane either until one scene where the monkey starts speaking in English to her instead of in monkey gibberish. And he is voiced by Danny Trejo. And Dora all of a sudden is taken aback by him talking in English and has a conversation with him. And you start to think to yourself that actually perhaps Dora has been making it up all along when she says she was talking with the monkey. Do you see what I'm saying? Like, we are being hinted at that, in fact, Dora might be kind of crazy. And I thought that was kind of interesting.
Vic00:15:42You're now making me want to see this movie.
JVL00:15:45There's a moment in the middle of it where she touches a, she and Diego have some sort of poppy dust breathed on them and sends them into a hallucinogenic stupor. And the hallucinogenic trip is described by having them slowly turn into animated characters and then for like 60 or 90 seconds, everything is done in Dora animation style. And it's weird and funny and trippy and it actually kind of works. I don't know. Wow. So look, so is it a good thing that Dora is now sexualized by being played by 18-year-old Isabella Moaner in like short shorts and a super tight shirt?
Sonny00:16:25Who is very attractive. Like just on the red carpet and stuff. Not fair.
JVL00:16:33Is that bad? I don't know. But I will say that Isabella Moaner's performance is so totally committed that it's kind of weirdly endearing. This girl just goes, it's a crazy weird movie and Isabella Moaner just goes two fists in and just like, okay, let's do this.
Sonny00:16:56Let's do Sicario 2, Day of the Soldado. I can't remember. She was like the little girl. The girl in that. Oh, the kidnapped rich girl. The school girl who gets kidnapped by everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was really good in that too.
JVL00:17:10Yeah. Again, and she is, there is no, so there is, she is not doing any winking to the audience. Like she has just decided to take the insane. It reminds me of like one of those crazy, do you remember like, I don't know, five or six years ago. When Nick Cage was doing all sorts of like the Port of, Port of New Orleans nutso.
Sonny00:17:32I mean, he's still doing all of those. He's still doing movies.
JVL00:17:34It is essentially, imagine an 18 year old girl who just decides, hey, I want to try doing something like that. And then just goes for it for all hour 47. Like I said, I think this is destined to be a cult classic for people who grew up liking Dora and then it becomes like a stoner movie for them or a TNT movie for them or something.
Vic00:17:55Wow. What was the audience like?
JVL00:17:59The audience was, I mean, all the other guys loved it. No, no, it was almost, well, so this is weird. I went to a morning screening of it and so it was all families with little kids and they all loved it. Every laugh.
Vic00:18:13Dora is still on, right? People are still watching Dora. Kids are still watching Dora.
Sonny00:18:16I mean, everything is still on now because everything is streaming. That's right.
JVL00:18:19Everything will be on forever. Forever. Okay. So nothing goes away, but it, it, it killed. Again, I think. 17 million. If you had looked at this before the weekend, you would have thought, eh, this kind of looks like a train wreck and it, it seems to have played pretty well.
Vic00:18:35My only observation is, uh, I saw a picture of her on the red carpet as Sonny mentioned. I saw a picture of her actually in the Dora outfit, like a real picture, not like, you know, and, and she's 18, so she has boobs. And then in the poster, she doesn't. So I think they CGI'd them down. Maybe.
Sonny00:18:55According to my. Analysis. According to your in-depth analysis of the pictures.
JVL00:19:00This is, this is like when Vic did the Alita thing. It was like, you know, that second body they put Alita in, I'm not sure if I like it.
Vic00:19:07That was, she was 30, man. Okay. I'm just telling you, it was, she was 30.
Sonny00:19:12Just in terms of box office, this was a disappointing figure. 17 million. It is below expectation.
JVL00:19:18But wasn't it, was it though? Wasn't it looking like a disaster? I mean. And it only became a disappointment.
Sonny00:19:22$17 million is kind of a disaster. It's not. I mean, the movie. The movie probably cost, what, 50, 60, $70 million to market. It's $120 million, you know.
JVL00:19:32Did they market this anywhere?
Sonny00:19:34Yeah. Yeah?
Vic00:19:35Yeah. Okay. Which, Sonny, what, which, which is a worse disaster in that sense? Dora or The Kitchen?
Sonny00:19:45Well, The Kitchen's a much bigger disaster, I would say. I mean, The Kitchen grossed $5.5 million on a $40 million budget. And that is not. Most of that went to Melissa McCarthy. No, that is, that is not going to, you know. I don't think a good.
JVL00:19:59I have a question, though. That was cheap.
Vic00:20:01What?
JVL00:20:02I kid. I kid because I love. Was The Kitchen, I was not, I was not clear as to why The Kitchen was being released in August or late July. Well, it's being, it's being dumped in August because. Yes, that's what they were. Didn't that look like a prestige movie? I mean, why is that not an October release? The trailer was very.
Sonny00:20:20I have no idea what this movie is. I literally, the first I heard of it was this weekend. It's a graphic novel. Right? Is it? I believe so. Is it? I have no, I have no.
JVL00:20:30Yeah, I've been seeing trailers for this for months.
Sonny00:20:32I had no awareness of this movie. Me too. Really? What so ever. I've seen several trailers in the theater. I haven't seen any ads for it. I didn't see any trailers in any of the movies I went to go see. I didn't see it on TV. I didn't, I like literally this weekend when people started saying, oh, The Kitchen is a disaster. I was like, wait, what's The Kitchen? And this is a movie that stars Melissa McCarthy, who like two years ago, everyone was saying is like the biggest star in Hollywood. Elizabeth Moss and Tiffany Haddish. Elizabeth Moss, who has never opened a movie. This is all your Tiffany Haddish. And Tiffany Haddish, who. Bias, because you hate Tiffany Haddish. I do. She annoys me. She like. As an actress, not as a person. I mean, I don't know her as a person, but like as her shtick annoys me. I find her. Elizabeth Moss.
JVL00:21:14She's a huge star. But she was in Mad Men and The West Wing.
Vic00:21:19And The Handmaid's Tale.
Sonny00:21:21But Melissa McCarthy, Melissa McCarthy since Spy. Which came out in 2015 is pretty good. I liked it. Her movies have grossed $63 million. That's The Boss. That's where she's like the meat. She's like the Martha Stewart type, right? Then Ghostbusters, which was, as we all know, an epic, epical disaster. Life of the Party, which again, it was like she goes back to college. Remember that? Remember that? She goes back to college with her kid. And that grossed $53 million, which is like.
Vic00:21:54That sounds like back to school.
Sonny00:21:56It's like gender swap back to school. Grossed $65 million worldwide, right? So I don't know what it cost, but it probably wasn't that expensive, but it still probably didn't make its money back after ads and all that. And then The Happy Time Murders, the puppet, the terrible R-rated puppet movie. I saw that. Literally one of the worst movies I've ever seen in a theater. Wow.
JVL00:22:15And Can You Ever Forgive Me, which is actually really good, but it's an art house picture.
Sonny00:22:19It's an Oscar picture. And it only grossed $8 million. This is grossed $7 million. It probably won't gross $20 million. She was nominated.
JVL00:22:26For that, I think. Yeah, it's a good movie. It's a good movie. If she's a legit movie star, then she has the worst product choice of any star in recent memory. I mean, the movies she's choosing to do are.
Sonny00:22:39Well, I mean, look, let's be honest. Let's be fair to her. From 2011, right, to about 2015, she's in Bridesmaids, huge hit. Identity Thief, shockingly huge hit. That movie grossed $134 million. That movie with her and Jason Bateman. She was in The Hangover Part III. And then The Heat, The Heat with Sandra Bullock, another big, big, big, big hit. Buddy cop. And then Spy, which was her and Jason Statham. Again, there was a moment where it was like, okay, she is actually a legit movie star. And then the last four years, it's just been nothing but disasters.
Vic00:23:18Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the other hand, Scary Stories, it probably didn't cost much.
JVL00:23:26And horror does very well. I can't believe you guys didn't see Dora. So you went to see Scary Stories instead of Dora?
Vic00:23:33Yeah. Yeah, I like Scary Stories. Did anyone else see Scary Stories at least? No.
JVL00:23:38You're not even going to give me that. I'm not going to give you that. Not only do I not get my gene review of Dora.
Vic00:23:43You got nothing. You know what?
JVL00:23:44I'm just going to sit here and I'm going to come up with a gene review of Dora while you guys talk about your scary movie. Good luck. I just want to make it.
Vic00:23:49If anyone hears about it, it's Jonathan. Okay. I'm just going to beep the whole Dora review. Thank you. It'll just be gone. Sonny. Uh, how about a kind of a big boy review of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark? Explain to people what this is.
Sonny00:24:02Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark is based on a series of books that if you were of a certain age, I think, basically my age and maybe like five years in either direction.
JVL00:24:12So Old Man and Mattis would not have.
Sonny00:24:14So you guys are a little bit too old. You guys are a little bit too old. I don't know if kids still go to libraries these days. I don't know if the libraries. We take our kids, but I think that's a weird thing. If school libraries are a thing anymore. When I was in school, when I was in middle school, uh, a middle school and like elementary school, maybe there was, there was a series of books called Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark that were always checked out. And it was like, whoever had them in the school was like an object of, of like, uh, you know, uh, jealousy. Like people were like, oh, he's got scary stories. And it was, it's just like an anthology of like scary stories, campfire type stories, you know, like.
Vic00:24:52Is it H.P. Lovecraft pipe or what is it?
Sonny00:24:54No, it's not. It's not really H.P. Lovecraft. It's more like campfire stories. It's like, okay. It's like, and the scraping on top of the car was his hook hand. Bah. You know. Question. Question.
Vic00:25:05Is one book a compilation or is each one a little story?
Sonny00:25:08They're all, they're all compilations. I think they're all anthologies. There's like three or four of these books. Okay. And they had these, they had these terrifying illustrations in them, like Bernie Wrightson style, kind of like, like melty faces and, uh, uh, Bernie Wrightson. That would, that would sell me on it. Am I, am I getting the artist? Right here? The painter? I don't know. The, okay. Um, it is not Bernie. We had a pact, but no, we, we didn't have any pact. You are just a, you know, anyway, you made a bad choice. Yeah. JVL. You made a poor choice. Uh, so anyway, this movie is based on those books and it is, it is a very weird anthology in that a friend of mine described it this way on Letterboxd, the, the movie reviewing social media site. Uh, that it is like one of those anthology, it's, it's like an anthology film, right? But like the stuff where that connects the stories, like the crypt keeper telling a story or like the, uh, you know, whatever the, like the old man who, who gets you for, except it's like 85% of that connective material and only 15% of the actual scary stories, right? Like the, the actual like anthologized stories are like a very small part of it. It's, it's about trying to build an actual film that uses. This book as the, the spine of the story, so to speak, which is an interesting choice. It's, it's a choice. It's a choice you can make. And what, what the director and the producer who is Guillermo del Toro, uh, he's the producer. I can't remember the name of the director. Some, some foreigner, um, no, uh, he, uh, he, uh, the, uh, hold on. I'm actually going to look it up because that's your joke.
JVL00:26:53You're supposed to say Guillermo del Toro. This is your bit. He's putting it down there and you're supposed to pick it up.
Vic00:27:05Sorry. Come on. I'm already, I'm still trying to figure out the transition for your ad. Go ahead. I have a question, Sonny, while, while you're looking this up. Yeah. Are all these stories.
Sonny00:27:13Andre, Andre over a doll. I like, actually, I'm not a hundred percent sure how to pronounce his, his first name because it has this weird.
Vic00:27:19Oh, it's on Dottie. It's on Dottie.
Sonny00:27:21Uh, anyway, so, uh, it's, it's not on Dottie. Uh, the, anyway. So the, the movie is, is this kind of, it's trying to find a structure for these stories, right? And the movie is all about the structure. And what they have done is they have made a series of explicitly political choices. Here's what I was not expecting to go into in this movie. Uh, and I was kind of surprised when I saw that it was 81% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. They, the movie is for some reason set in 1968. I don't know if that's when the books originally came out or what, but it's set in 1968 on the eve of the real, uh, the election. The election of Richard Nixon. And this, the one bully jerk kid in town is like signing up to go to Vietnam. He's not even getting drafted. He's like going in and he's like, Hey, I'm going to, I'm going to Vietnam. I'm going to kill some, some, you know, Asians. Careful. Some Asian Americans. I'm going to go kill them. Yes. Yes. That's what they called me when I was a kid. Yes.
JVL00:28:20Go ahead.
Sonny00:28:20Uh, and, uh, and the villains, the over spoilers. You know, the, the overall villains of the story, uh, it's this family who locked away their daughter in a basement because she's different, but also because she's different, but also because she was trying to tell the town that the family's mill is poisoning all the children. Okay. So like, there's this, there's this explicitly political, uh, not even subtext, just text. Like Nixon is on every TV in the background of like every scene and all about how terrible he is. Uh, then you have the, the, the subtext of the, you know, big business is evil and, and racism is bad. There's a racist cop, a racist cop and the racist kids and a, a, uh, a Mexican American character comes into town and he is called wetback and it is very, it's all very jarring and, and, and, and trying, but it is, it is. So it, it has this explicitly political backdrop to it, right? Is what I'm getting at here. Leftist, like not even really liberal leftist. So the, the, the conclusion of the film then, uh, involves the girl, the girl who is like the hero of the story, who is like, she's figured out, she's figured out the mystery of why these, these stories are appearing in this book and blah, blah. And she goes to the evil, like witch ghost, uh, character who's making all of these things happen and says, I know that you're not evil, but you're acting evil now. And your actions are having impact on my friends who are good. They're liberal, you know, my, my, my, my, my, my friends didn't vote for Nixon. The one guy is like into organic food or whatever. Right. Like he was, and, and, and, and like you're now you're doing wrong. I'll tell the truth. I'll tell everybody the truth will set you free. Right. And then, uh, and then the ghost was like, okay, I'll stop and stops. And then at the end of the film, the, the, so again, there's this, uh, there's this Mexican American character who like rolls into town and is treated racially about a lot. And the cops like, I found out about you. You're a draft Dodger. And the guy's like, yeah, I didn't want to go to the war. Cause my brother went and he came back in a body bag pieces in pieces. Uh, so I, I just, I couldn't, I couldn't do it. Um, and then at the end of the film, the happy ending is him going to Vietnam. He, he like gets on the bus to go to the army base to get inducted and to go to Vietnam. And she's like, I'll write you every day. And she hands him the first letter. Cause he served unlike other people. But it's, but it's, but it's really interesting here because like there's this, there's this, like, I, I actually wish you had seen the movie JVL because there is this stridently leftist critique of American society from top to bottom. And then it culminates in this kind of like wishy-washy neoliberal, like trust the system, let it send them off to war. Like this guy's not a conscientious objector, right? This is what we learned at the end of the film. It's not like he's like running off to Canada because he abhors what, you know, evil America is doing to the world. He's, he's literally just a coward and now he's not a coward anymore. He's going to go off to war and he's going to, he's going to, he's got, you're going to get the love of this girl. It's, it's, it is a fascinating mishmash. And the only reason I'm spending so much time on this, because usually I just gloss over the politics of these things is because they very clearly want us to think about the evil, the evils of American society. And then like, just again, just, just, just, just glossing over all of that at the end with this kind of wishy-washy neoliberal thing is I, it's, it is in a metaphor for where the left spectrum is just what we call the things we do together.
JVL00:32:00Yeah. Right.
Vic00:32:01I mean, this is, it would have been interesting to get JVL to see this movie. On the other hand, it would have been hard to keep you calm.
JVL00:32:09Speaking of which, calm.com, our friends, I got an email from, I won't say her name on air, but a, a good friend of the show who said that she was traveling and finally just bit the bullet and went and subscribed to calm and, and she said, it was fantastic. Put her to sleep right away. Uh, I was calm.com are, are my favorite sponsor, not our favorite institutionally. We love all of our sponsors. Uh, C-A-L-M.com is a app for your phone, which has all sorts of guided meditations and breathing exercises, and also my favorite things, sleep stories. And you, you go to calm and you give this giant library of sleep stories to choose from, uh, amazing readers. And. You put them on and they just knock you out. It's, it's like taking Benadryl or Lunesta or Ambien and stay away from that butterfly, but right there, but all of these things, but with, but it just works. It's so great. And I wanted to show you guys, share something with you guys that I found on calm.com. In fact, last night, as I was just, uh, just noodling around, trying to choose what I was going to have put me to sleep. And I found something that I had never seen before. Oh boy.
?00:33:25Hello. I'm Bob Ross.
JVL00:33:25And I'd like to welcome you to the 29th joy of painting series. And so they have a calm produced Bob Roth episode. And you know what? I find that listening to Bob Ross to put you to sleep is even better than watching it. And it works so great. And this is, again, it's just the genius of calm.com. They have, uh, people reading, you know, in firm informative stories about like Yellowstone national park. And then people read it. People are reading fairy tales for kids. It's the greatest. And, uh, and you should all go and get it, especially if you have kids. Cause man, this stuff works on kids. Uh, right now, sub beacon listeners will get 25% off of a calm premium subscription by going to calm.com slash sub beacon. That's C A L M.com slash sub beacon. 40 million people have downloaded calm 20 million of them, probably sub beacon listeners, uh, find out why calm.com. As find out why at calm.com slash sub beacon. Thank you. JVL Bob Ross. I love Bob Ross.
Vic00:34:35Yes. It reminds me of like Sunday afternoons. My dad would have it on TV and he would just watch.
JVL00:34:41Did you ever paint along?
Vic00:34:42He still paints now. And so now that he's been retired, he's been painting like a fiend and some pretty good stuff still. He's getting into still life and so sort of landscapes and things like that. And, uh, and one of them now hangs in our, uh, in our, uh, in our living room.
Sonny00:34:57Does one dog go one? Does one dog go one way and one dog go the other?
Vic00:35:00Very good. And the other guy's like, Hey, what do you want? What are you looking for me? He's got a nice head of hair. You know, it looks like somebody we know. Okay. Very nice.
Sonny00:35:08Vic, did you like, did you like scary stories? Can I just say also like, uh, following that long political rant, uh, the, I, there were things I liked a lot about this movie, including the fact that it is like, it's pushing the boundaries of that PG 13 rating. It is scary. It's scary. Dark and scary. And it has this weird under. I would sooner eat mayonnaise and go see this thing. It has, it has a, it has a, it has a real undercurrent of body horror. Like, you know, losing control of yourself, like, you know, metaphor for puberty, whatever. Like, but it, but it, but it like.
JVL00:35:41Vic is like, Oh, I need to see this again. Uh, okay.
Sonny00:35:45But I, I, I thought, I thought, I thought the like scary part of it more or less worked. I thought it was pretty. That's what I was going to say.
Vic00:35:51Impressive. So the 13 year old me would have given this an A minus. So an A minus. Uh, you know, because then you would be, so the, the young person would be rather kind of oblivious to those political undertones or tones as you would
JVL00:36:03overtones. Yeah. Just, uh, text. Yeah. It's not even subtext.
Vic00:36:06Okay. Yeah. Whatever. He's on TV or a tricky dick, whatever. But you know, and, and there were moments, I will admit this. There was a moment where the other kid, the, the health, the diet conscious kid is under the bed and I took my glasses off.
Sonny00:36:23You didn't want to see it. I kept it blurry.
Vic00:36:25I don't know. I, I'm, I'm rarely like that, but the bed thing is always, you know, and it's all, but it's, and it's so predictable because it's always, oh, it didn't happen. Wait, now it happens, you know? And they should do one where it happens so immediately. Yeah. Where it's like double bluff. The first place he looks. Exactly. Double bluff. Exactly.
Sonny00:36:44Rather than, oh, it's not the first place and it's not the second place. Right. Right. No. It should just be the first one. Like, look up.
Vic00:36:52Ah, the weird thing is, uh, the, the monsters themselves. I don't know where they, were they that scary? I don't know. You know, the idea of it's scary, but were they visually that scary? Ah, uh, the scarecrow or the, the, the thing under the bed. I don't know what, you know, but, um, okay. So here's my thoughts. So I did like it. I gave it again. The 13 year old me is at the a minus. Um, I basically said everything that you said that I said here, it's a bit derivative and remind me, it's kind of like it, obviously the spider bite, which some people don't like. People will be disturbed by, uh, I'd seen that before, uh, and, and much more terrifying in a movie called the believers. Have you ever seen the believers with Martin Sheen? Uh, and he and his daughter, um, have to, the, the, the mother dies. She gets electrocuted by a faulty coffee machine. So I remember that because you watch the electrocution by accident in the kitchen. This was a Mattis family special, by the way, growing up. And then they go to this place and then they stumble upon Santeria. And so it's like, oh, my God. It's sort of voodoo-ish. And then, um, Martin Sheen's friend has a spider bite, but it was scarier because there was no CGI. So in this one, it's like a million spiders coming out. It was kind of crazy at the end, like one, two, three, a dozen. That's scary. But the million in scary, it was too much. So in the believers, I mean, there's no CGI. I don't know what they did that poor actress, but you know, it's all coming out there and it's like, you know, 20 spiders gross. Okay.
Sonny00:38:23So that I thought too many spiders seen it before. Vic Mattis, too many spiders, a minus without the spiders.
Vic00:38:32Hey, Hey, yeah. They, they overdid it. Uh, I, the one thing that stood out for me, of course, was when Ramon says they put her away because she was different. Yeah.
Sonny00:38:42She had the albino disorder. We don't actually see her, right? We see like, we catch like a glimpse of her in the mirror kind of. Yes, that's right. And then we see like the ghost version, the ghost her again.
Vic00:38:52And again, the racist cop, Gil Bellows, Billy. The guy from Ally McBeal. Yeah, it was, there's no way he's racist. It's like the guy from Ally McBeal slash Shawshank Redemption. Yeah. Nice guy refused to believe that. Okay. So, uh, but, but it's weird and I think it's very effective because, um, I mentioned to my kids scare, I'm going to see scary stories that they are terrified of it, the way they're terrified of it. There's something about it that they, that like, it's okay. Oh, they want to see he'd met him. My son will see alien or aliens. That's fine. But scary stories tell dark.
Sonny00:39:22Absolutely not because I think the kids, I mean, like
JVL00:39:25you would have taken your kids to this.
Vic00:39:27No, I mean, well, it was PG 13, but I didn't, they didn't want to go.
Sonny00:39:33So I said, something's working in the marketing. Let's drill down on that for one second, because I do think it's interesting because like, you know, your kids will go see the alien movie, right? The scary external threat, but like it, or this movie, these are movies about kids set in high school. Like that is what is that. And that is, that is one of the reasons why those books were always so terrifying is because it was like, you know, the 15 year old jock who beats up the. Uh, scarecrow and then turned into a scarecrow. Like, like, okay, that's weird.
Vic00:39:59It's scary, but you also kind of are like, you end up rooting for the scarecrow cause you're not supposed to.
Sonny00:40:04Well, this is, well, so this is another, another problem with like how the movie works, right? Is it like on the one hand, the, the, the ghost villain is doing bad things to bad people, right? The racist cop, the racist jock, but then it's also doing bad things to good people. It's doing bad things to the health conscious friend. And the, the, uh, w the, the kid who like, I don't know, he gets a
Vic00:40:25little bit absorbed by the, well, I can't explain that one. I don't know what happens there. Was that, and that was not scary. That was weird. It was just weird, kind of trippy.
JVL00:40:33Yeah, it was kind of, it was absorbed into what there's like this giant, so
Sonny00:40:36this kid's running through a ghost lady, he's this kid's running through a mental hospital and he gets to like basically a place where there are, where two hallways intersect and so he goes one way and this like big fat ghost lady is like in front of him and he turns around and starts running the other way and then she's right there and then he goes a different way and she's right there. So like every way he goes. She's there and every time he turns around, it gets closer.
Vic00:40:57And closer. So I can see that.
Sonny00:40:59So it has like, it has like a nightmare logic to it that is, that is, that is compelling on a, like a visceral level. Intellectually, I have no idea what's going on.
JVL00:41:07I, wait, so are you rooting for the bad guys to, to get there from the scary monsters?
Sonny00:41:13This is, this is kind of a problem with the movie, right? Is it like the, the villain is, is, is, is right about her awful family and poisoning the town. So it's one thing for her to be angry. She's taking her revenge. So this is right. So this is like.
JVL00:41:27Her problem is only that she's going after the Democrats too.
Sonny00:41:29Right. No, this is the, this is it. This is it. This is like.
JVL00:41:32Don't you understand we're your allies.
Sonny00:41:34It'd be like if the DSA went and blew up a college campus, people would be like, no, no, do that at the ice station. Right, right, right, right.
Vic00:41:40That's right. Again, that was just that, that particular sequence is weird because it's like, for me, getting absorbed by a giant mannequin is not the most scariest thing I can think of. So just my thought. I have a question.
JVL00:41:54You guys. Both kind of liked it.
Vic00:41:57Yeah. Yeah. Aspects of it. I mean, I was entertaining. There were parts of it that were entertaining, but I will tell you this again, the older me, no sympathy for Stella, the girl, the girl, right? She brought it on her fresh. She took the book out.
Sonny00:42:09Yeah. So we, we, we skipped over talking a bunch of the plot, but like the everything gets kicked into motion when these kids like break into a haunted house, uh, go down into the hidden room and then start stealing stuff from the ghost. So like, you know, they kind of had it coming.
Vic00:42:24She's responsible for it. She's responsible for their deaths. She kind of also remind me of Thora Birch. Didn't she like from American beauty a little bit. And I was unclear how old she was. I mean, she's having this weird flirty relationship with Ramon, but I don't know how old she is. Are they in high school?
JVL00:42:40I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I always comes back here.
Sonny00:42:43No, no. I think she was, she's a senior, right? She's a senior in high school.
JVL00:42:47Oh, okay. Then that's fine. The cinema score for this movie.
Sonny00:42:52You saw, did you not see?
JVL00:42:55Oh, that interests me. That's very interesting.
Sonny00:42:58Horror always, like one of the weird things about cinema score is that horror movies always grade lower, right? So if your baseline for like an acceptably good movie is essentially a B plus, right? I would say for a horror movie, it's closer to a C plus. There's, there's a weird curve there. And sometimes that's not, I think that the first, it wasn't a whatever, but like horror movies in particular. Get jar judged more harshly by the audiences who go to see horror movies and they keep showing up for all the horror movies. It's the, it's a very weird, there's a very weird psychological thing going on here.
Vic00:43:36So, um, if I can, uh, just branch out from this for a moment here, uh, movies that I thought as a kid were far more scarier that are similar to scary stories in the dark, but I thought were far more scarier and I think they hold up far more scarier, far more scary.
JVL00:43:53And he's the editor.
Vic00:43:55Uh, uh, Creepshow listening to my four-year-old, we're going to have a nice
Sonny00:44:00conversation.
Vic00:44:01Uh, uh, Creepshow. You ever see Creepshow? I did not see Creepshow. I know there's no CGI, right? There's no CGI. It's disturbing, but Creepshow, I thought it was genuinely scary. I'd like to see it now.
JVL00:44:12I'm sure you can go to show have one of these iconic characters.
Vic00:44:16Well, it's a series of, no, that will, that's tales from the crypt, but no, I know that was Creepshow based on the comic book.
Sonny00:44:23Was Creepshow the one with like the little leprechaun? The leprechaun thing in with Drew Barrymore? I think it's leprechauns.
Vic00:44:29No, that one, that one is called Cat's Eye. Cat's Eye. Yeah. And that was, that was another, another, another anthology. Thank you for reminding me. Creepshow was directed by George Romero and I think written by Stephen King. Uh, so some of it were like The Crate with Adrian Barbeau is in that. Absolutely frightening. Um, Leslie Nielsen is in one and he's not funny. Uh, and it's, you know, one where you're drowning by death, death by drowning. I mean, it's. So some, some really scary things I would recommend you want to get scared. Maybe it's not gonna, I mean, check out Creepshow. I thought that was, uh, far scarier. Um, Twilight Zone, the movie. Remember that?
Sonny00:45:07Yeah.
Vic00:45:08Yeah. I thought that was scary too, in most ways. I mean, there was one that was kind of silly where the old people got his head cut off and yeah, the helicopter one, it was disturbing. Okay. But I thought that was scary. It was disturbing in real life. It was because they changed the ending. He was supposed to, yeah, that's why it was.
Sonny00:45:25It was disturbing. Cause this movie, you know about this, right JVO? Yeah. No.
Vic00:45:29And the kids died too. It was actually, it was terrible.
JVL00:45:31Tell me more.
Sonny00:45:32Uh, John Landis directed the segment that was like the guy who goes back to Vietnam. Right. Yep. Uh, so, uh, there's a segment there, one of these, he's a racist. So he goes, he's a racist. He goes to like Nazi Germany, the South. He's like a, he's like a black person getting chased by the clan. He's a Jew and Nazi Germany, whatever. And he's a, I guess he's Vietnamese in. Vietnam. Right. Vietnam. Um, so, uh, John Landis like rushed, basically like he broke the law, broke. He, he broke the rules. He broke the rules. I don't know what the, this is all very tricky, but the end result was, uh, there was a helicopter crash on set and Vic Moro was killed along with two kids, along with two Vietnamese kids who, and like, just like there was a violation of child labor. There was, there were all sorts of, this was, there was a trial.
Vic00:46:25You know, um, and I'm pretty sure that was the end of John Landis that brought him right. That was the end of him.
JVL00:46:32Sonny, it was that movie on people.
Vic00:46:34All of a sudden, nobody wanted to work with jar deal with John Landis anymore because of that.
JVL00:46:37So that was very weird.
Vic00:46:39So I would say that was scary, but John Lithgow, there's a, the other, uh, sketch in that, um, is, is it 30,000 feet, a terror at 30,000 feet? Yeah. Very good. Uh, the opening with Dan Aykroyd and, um, Albert Brooks, it just jumps at you. And I was, again, I saw this when I was, I guess, 10, I don't know. Uh, but, and I'd like to add to this series, uh, for our listeners tales from the crypt. Uh, I think you can watch the entire episode called carry in death, carry on, carry in death, which stars Kyle McLaughlin. And I think he directed it to where he's an escaped convict, but he, he's still handcuffed to the, uh, the, the cop that he killed. And he has to drag him around the desert. Amazing ending. We JVL, you should watch it. You'd love it. What's the ending? Well, you know, he, uh, realizes that, you know, he, he finally finds a sharp object that he can find to, to sever the cop's hand so he can be free of the cop and then be on his way. But, um, he's already dehydrated and everything in the desert for several days, but by the time he gets to this hatches, this plan, he's so dizzy that he misses. And then when he lifts up his, he turns out he severed his own hand, uh, instead of the cop spoilers. And then he. Falls down a cliff and he breaks his back. So he's paralyzed from the neck down at which point the vultures that have been following him the entire episode, then land on his chest. And he says, no, no, no, no. And then they pick his eye out and they show the eye being plucked out. You should watch a JVL. You'd love it. That sounds great.
Sonny00:48:13Yeah. I'm going to get right on that. Should eat a Mayo sandwich.
Vic00:48:17You have any other scary story?
JVL00:48:19Where are you on the, like the Elvira stuff? But was, I feel like there was, there was Elvira, which was the national brand. And then there was the Philadelphia brand. Do you remember this? No, I don't. Oh gosh. There was a, a Philly version of Elvira, uh, some, and her name was the Stella
Vic00:48:43maybe like on channel 29 or 17. Yes.
JVL00:48:45But she was the man eater from Manny Yunk, who was the, I don't know. You guys keep talking and I will find her name, but you don't remember this.
Vic00:48:52You didn't get this in the no. Oh man. The killer from the school kill the school killer. Uh, no, it was Sonny. Do you have any other thoughts on this? No, that's it. We're ready to move on. Okay. Uh, Sonny, uh, JVL, I got to move on.
JVL00:49:07Sure. World. That's right. Stella. I was right.
Vic00:49:09Stella, the man, people were yelling. This was, yes, this is absolutely Saturday night.
JVL00:49:14Dead was the name of the, it's like Saturday night live, right? Get it. And, but it was a locally produced TV genre, all horror, horror, comedy, horror movies, and like clips that clearly the local CBS station or whatever it was had, had purchased the rights to, and then strung together with in between Stella, who was again, the Philly version of Elvira. If I showed you a picture of it, it's exactly what you think.
Vic00:49:43Okay.
JVL00:49:43It's exactly what you think. If I say Philly Elvira, big hair.
Sonny00:49:48I mean, it's just Elvira. No, no, no. Elvira is much classier. Okay.
Vic00:49:55Good. I'd also say Fright Night. That's a scary one from the eighties.
JVL00:49:58Love it. So he looks like, okay, we're done. You know what else? You're just listing things now.
Vic00:50:02Well, that's, that's, isn't that what we do on the show? No.
JVL00:50:04Okay.
Vic00:50:05Now we rank things. That's different things. That's right. Uh, I'll tell you what else is scary. Having broken blinds on your windows. For many of us, your blinds or whatever you have on your windows is an afterthought, but with brand new made to order custom window coverings from blinds.com, you can really transform the look and feel of your entire home with 15 million windows covered and over 30,000 five-star customer reviews blinds.com is America's number one online retailer for affordable quality custom window coverings. Whether you're looking for energy efficiency, you just moved or want to refresh the look of your home blinds.com makes the whole experience so fast and easy. Plus every order gets free samples, free shipping, a free online design consultation. Just send them pictures of your house and they send back custom recommendations from a professional for what will work with your color scheme, furniture, and specific room They'll even send you free samples to make sure everything looks as good in person as it does online and every order gets free shipping. And this is the best part. If you accidentally mismeasure or pick the wrong color, if you make a mistake, blinds.com will remake your blinds for free. They've really made it easy for you. So there's no excuse to leave up those mangled blinds. And for a limited time, our listeners get $20 off at blinds.com. When you use promo code sub beacon, that's blinds.com promo code sub beacon for $20 off forward blinds, cellular shades, roller shades, and more blinds.com promo code sub beacon rules and restrictions apply corrections, additions, anything in a couple of weeks. I have a special treat for you. A special taste of the week of something. I'm not going to tell you what it is, but it's coming in. You're going to special mayonnaise. You'll love it. I'm going to say, okay, that is all the time we are giving. To this episode, questions, comments, complaints, compliments. Tweet us at Victorino Matus at Sonny Bunch. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher. Just type in Sub-Beacon on a podcast. We're there. Leave a review. Tell your friends.
JVL00:52:10Until next time. Hey, before we get into outtakes, Victorino, JVL. So I just want to instant correction on what we just said. So Saturday Night Dead. It ran for six years on NBC, the NBC station in Philadelphia.
Vic00:52:32Whoa, it's just on Channel 3?
JVL00:52:34At the time, it was KYW, which I think was Channel 3. And it ran after Saturday Night Live. So it was an ultra late night show. No competition then. So this is great. So it was hosted by Stella, the man-eater from Maniunk. This is from the Wikipedia page. According to her biography, Stella was, quote, born in North Libido, New Jersey, a small village outside of Atlantic City. She is the only child of traveling hecklers. Her parents dropped her in a plastic basket at Fithon's Shunk in front of Guido's Hair Weaving and Plumbing Supplies.
Vic00:53:12You know why?
JVL00:53:13The most Philly thing ever.
Vic00:53:15That's all. I'm sure it's fine.
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