#64. Val Kilmer, Netflix Numbers, and Swag!
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The nominal subject is Val Kilmer's new memoir I'm Your Huckleberry, which nobody has read — Sonny's copy arrived from Amazon a day earlier, so he awards it five stars sight unseen while Vic notes that never stopped him from discussing a book either. What follows is a genuine appreciation instead. JVL frames Kilmer's career through an old Alec Baldwin theory that a blockbuster buys you a six-year all-access pass in Hollywood: Kilmer establishes himself in Real Genius and Top Gun, becomes a star with The Doors, peaks with Tombstone, Batman Forever and Heat, then spends the pass on The Island of Dr. Moreau, The Ghost and the Darkness, The Saint and Red Planet and lands in movie jail as a character actor. JVL's verdict is admiring anyway: Kilmer came to Hollywood and beat the house, never compromised artistically, worked steadily for four decades and walked away with his dignity. Sonny, a self-described huge fan, praises Kilmer's habit of working with people he respects (Coppola's Twixt) and hunts fruitlessly through the memoir for the truth about The Snowman, where Kilmer's pivotal role was dubbed and all but edited out; he also laughs out loud at the back cover reducing Heat to "I'm your bank robber." Nobody can produce a ranking, since Gay Perry and Jim Morrison resist comparison. Vic rewatched Real Genius and loves it as Cold War-era 80s comfort food, though JVL and Sonny fight him on whether it beats Top Secret, and Sonny insists Willow only works because Kilmer is insanely funny as Madmartigan. Elsewhere: Texas theaters have reopened, and Sonny reports a New York Times color piece from Houston where "brisk business" meant 800 tickets all day for $5 showings of Bloodshot, Trolls World Tour and Selena, arguing this cautious, small-scale restart is exactly right while predicting Tenet will open to $10-15 million rather than $80 million. He also mocks Netflix's claim that 90 million people watched Extraction in a week, having instituted a rule at Rebeller that any such headline must append "for at least two minutes." Plus JVL on matcha as a sobriety measure, a deadpan Tara Reid filmography bit, Vic's second self-administered haircut, a Wild Rag mesquite-bean vodka sent by a listener, and Flash Gordon chosen for next week.
From the show notes
#cdata-section -------------- In this latest episode, we discuss Val Kilmer, who has a new memoir, I'm Your Huckleberry. Of course we ha...
Full transcript
Vic00:00:00Hello and welcome to another edition of The Sub-Beacon. I'm Victor Matus along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last. Just a reminder, The Sub-Beacon is available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. Look at our podcast and search for Sub-Beacon. You'll easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, and leave a review. Gentlemen, how are we? JVL, I have to ask you a question right off the bat. Yes, do it. What are you drinking? It looks... Bring that up there. Show it to the screen now. No one's going to see this. So green. Can I tell you what it looks like? It looks like something that Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru...
Sonny00:00:39It looks like... It's the blue milk. No, no. It looks like a high-C ecto-cooler.
Vic00:00:44Oh, that was... You know what? This is funny. You call it that. The drink existed before that and they changed the name. No, it didn't. They changed the name for Ghostbusters. No, stop. And before that, it was called...
Sonny00:00:57Shut your fucking... Shut your mouth.
?00:00:58Shut your fucking...
Sonny00:00:58Shut your mouth.
Vic00:00:59Shut your whore mouth. I heard that. That's not a thing. It was called Citrus Cooler Aid. And they might as well call it... Ecto-cooler. Electric Kool-Aid. They all called it Electric Kool-Aid. Okay. So anyway, what is that, JVL?
JVL00:01:12That is a matcha green tea latte over ice.
Vic00:01:16Oh, matcha.
JVL00:01:18Matcha. Yes. Ancient Chinese secret.
Vic00:01:21That's offensive. Wow. We're not even talking about long...
Sonny00:01:25Dr. Mattis has showed up.
Vic00:01:27We're not...
Sonny00:01:28Thank you.
Vic00:01:30We're not even talking. We're not even talking about...
Sonny00:01:33This is already an all-star show. Fabric softener? This is a fabric softener? Number one show right now.
Vic00:01:39Oh, by the way, and that was an interracial couple.
JVL00:01:41Powerful antioxidants.
Vic00:01:42That was an interracial couple in that commercial. And, of course, it was the Asian woman. Typical. The white man gets the Asian woman. Typical. Look what I brought back. That's what it was. Yeah. So I...
JVL00:01:55Anyway... You know, the line, there is one Starbucks... The drive-thru within, like, a four-mile drive of my place. And so this Starbucks now always has 36 cars in line since all interior Starbucks are shut down. So I went on to the Amazon... You can't go in with the Xs?
Vic00:02:12They don't have Xs on the floor?
JVL00:02:14No. No, you can't go in. Can't go in. They don't have curbside? It's all closed. No, they drive-thru. Drive-thru only. So we... No, we're talking about the Starbucks thing. Anyway. So I... It's just... I don't want to stand in line for my green tea, matcha green tea latte anymore. And so I just Amazoned up some culinary-grade matcha green tea, which is a mistake. I realize it should have been the ceremonial grade, but I didn't want to spend that much money the first time. This is very Japanese. It's not Chinese.
Vic00:02:45It's very Japanese.
JVL00:02:46You know, what's funny is there are... The ones from China is cheaper. Question. The ones from China are much cheaper.
Sonny00:02:53Question. Yes. What's the difference between ceremonial grade and culinary grade?
JVL00:02:59I believe this is whatever the Japanese version of, like, grade A double prime versus grade... Choice. C or choice or whatever. Victorino, you probably know this. I know this because you know. Because you know. Yeah. Centuries of oppression? It's like the ox testicles versus the ox tail, right? One is...
Vic00:03:22Oh, ox tail soup is great. Yeah, I bet you love that. But many cultures have it. But it's delicious. Is that like the shark fin soup? I don't know.
JVL00:03:29And I'm going to be up late tonight working, so it is not too late. And also, I was a little shamed by, after last week's episode, I was sent some tweets that people sent out about me saying that I evidently have trouble drinking and that
Vic00:03:45I was a little... Did somebody do a ranking or something?
Sonny00:03:48Somebody may have. Look, I mean, JVL, no offense, this is not actually a Sub-Beacon episode. It's a Sub-Beacon intervention. So I'm very glad that you're... You've switched to the...
Vic00:04:00Oh, I thought the intervention was that you need to drink more.
Sonny00:04:02Yeah, no, I assume there's like vodka in that latte.
JVL00:04:06I don't know. No. So it was... I can't do it tonight. I have too much work to do after we hang it up. So can we talk about something that's been bothering me, though?
Sonny00:04:17Yeah.
JVL00:04:17Yeah, I know this is a dangerous thing for us, but I feel like we have to talk about Tara Reid. Oh, no. Really? Uh, yeah. Yeah, I think it is germane to the show. She's been in the news a ton lately, and I want to say... I already know, because Sonny and I probably... I don't believe a word of it. I don't believe a word of this bullshit, because the timeline doesn't match up at all. In 1993, she had just finished taping Saved by the Bell of the New Class. Thank you. And I don't even want to talk about her reliability. The drinking and the substance abuse and the partying. I don't think that you can believe the allegations of somebody with her history. You were talking on... I lost a pinky toe.
Sonny00:04:59You're talking about personal problems that have nothing to do with the work. The work has been impeccable. I feel like I knew her in high school. The work in The Big Lebowski.
JVL00:05:10Great. Bunny Lebowski is...
Sonny00:05:12American Pie.
JVL00:05:14Melody Valentine in Josie and the Pussycats. Wonderful. That's a great movie. She got sidetracked.
Sonny00:05:18Sharknado 1 through 3, I think. Fantastic.
JVL00:05:24She currently has 20 projects in pre- and post-production. So she's working a lot these days. And so maybe this whole thing is just a stunt to get people to pay attention to the work.
Sonny00:05:37You are downgrading something else because you are a little bit... I think we can all say that you're a little bit mixed up here. You're a little bit mixed up here. She's a fine young woman who's had a rough go of it. I think we all can remember the surgery issues. And look, Tara Reid, impeccable witness, does great work. I'm pro-Tara Reid.
Vic00:06:07When did her voice change to become... It was actually like that the whole time. Was it always like that? Because I don't remember... She was acting when she was Bunny Lebowski.
Sonny00:06:17Even when she was Bunny Lebowski, though, it was very... Do you remember her classic line?
Vic00:06:23She was parrying, I think, with the great... Who had the great... It's an extra 500 if he gets to watch.
Sonny00:06:34Oh, Brant can't watch. No, what is it? It's like Brant can't watch or he has to pay 100.
JVL00:06:40Right, something like that. It's fantastic.
Vic00:06:43No, she's great. So there you go. I just wanted to get off my task. It has been bugging me all week. How are you boys? What's going on? Sonny, what's happening? Have you been to a movie theater yet? Oh, yeah. Did you go? You could go.
JVL00:06:57Did you read it? Did you read about what it's going to be like? I sent you the article.
Sonny00:07:00Texas reopened their theaters. It's really interesting.
JVL00:07:03How much money did they gross?
Sonny00:07:05So there was a New York Times story. This is kind of a funny story. So there was a New York Times story. Like Manny Fernandez or somebody was down in Houston and went to one of the theaters that opened there and just kind of hung around to see what was going on.
JVL00:07:19Oh, I see. That's some good shoe leather. What was going on. He was filing a color piece is what we would call it. Of course.
Sonny00:07:25And it was actually a really good story. It was very funny. You know, like...
Vic00:07:30Listen to that Manchester. I know.
Sonny00:07:32It was very... It was kind of amusing. And the kicker on the story was they were doing brisk business. 800 people showed up to the theater all day. So...
Vic00:07:43That's good.
Sonny00:07:44800 people. That's good. 800 tickets sold. That's a lot of people. At a theater over the course of a whole day is not that many. But look, here's the thing. I think it's a great sign. Everything, everything... The theaters have to do this. What did they say?
Vic00:08:00What was the selection?
Sonny00:08:01There's nothing in theaters right now. So, I mean, it's like they were selling $5 tickets to Bloodshot and Trolls World Tour and, like, Selena. So, I mean, it's... Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the classic Jennifer Lopez picture.
Vic00:08:15Oh, the original.
JVL00:08:17The Variety... There was a Variety story on all this that talked to an exhibitor from Oklahoma who said, Yeah, no, we're going to open up slow and we're going to... We're going to get a release from Sony Classic Pictures. And I don't... It's not going to be The Shape of Water or something big like that. It'll probably be a more marginal title.
Sonny00:08:37Yeah.
JVL00:08:38Just don't do that stuff.
Sonny00:08:40No, look, I mean, it's... Good luck. They're opening up just to see how to do it, which is the exact right way to do it. I mean, they're opening up on a smaller scale with smaller audiences with smaller movies so they can figure out how to run the theater when... Which is, like... JVL. I don't know what you want. I, like, I actually... I'm, like...
JVL00:09:00I want them to succeed because I would like to go to movie theaters for the rest of my life. I am pro... So, here's...
Sonny00:09:06So, this is my point is I actually think that this is a positive sign and a positive step. It is not them throwing the doors open and saying, Everybody, come in. We're all going to open it. And it's not... It's not them saying, like, we're going to... There were some stories that were, like, they were going to introduce TSA-style checkpoints with, like, guys with thermometers shooting them at the forehead. And, like, that's obviously not going to work. Nobody's going to put up with that nonsense. So, you have to have a... You have to have a happy median where you have people who are grouped together, one or two together, and spread out through the whole theater. And it's going to take work and it's going to take some figuring out. And I think that they are basically on the right track. Now, look. Here's a very interesting thing. Lionsgate rescheduled the horror movie Antebellum, and it's a, shall we say, it's a movie about an African-American who was, like, transported back to the slavery age, you know, maybe in her mind. It looks terrifying. It looks terrifying. It looks like us, but, like, scarier, frankly. And they are... Lionsgate is planning... Lionsgate has said it will come out August 8th or August 6th or something like that, beginning of August, which is essentially the... week after Mulan is supposed to open, right? So, Tenet comes out the 24th or the 26th, Mulan the week after that, and then this, which suggests to me that the studios believe that they can put new product into theaters starting at the end of July and the beginning of August. That might be a stretch. It might be a reach. It might not work. When they do come out, the numbers are going to be terrible. This is what, like... This is what everybody has to be prepared for, right? Tenet, if it comes out at the end of July, is not going to gross $80 million in its first weekend. Tenet, if it comes out at the end of July, will gross $10 to $15 million in its first weekend. That's just what will happen. You're driving a stake through my heart. That's just what's going to happen, but...
JVL00:11:19Why is Christopher Nolan being punished for our sins?
Sonny00:11:21I agree that it's not fair to Christopher Nolan, who's the only good person. Not in Hollywood. Period. Period. He's the only good person. He's the only good person. So, like, I agree that it's not fair to him, and it's not fair to the studios that stood behind him and believed in his vision of projecting 36K onto the moon from the orbiting satellites of Earth so we could all enjoy his movies as they're meant to be seen. But the, you know, look, the... I'm actually heartened by what we are seeing. It is conscientious. It is smart. People aren't going to rush back to the theaters to see things that they can see at home. And that's good. That's actually good. That's a good thing because it gives the theaters some ability to plan out how they are going to handle this when the audiences actually come back.
JVL00:12:15I will strap on a hazmat suit and drive out to Udvar-Hazy to watch Tenet on the largest screen in the metro area if it is possible to do so.
Sonny00:12:25Same. 100%. That said...
Vic00:12:28I'd go there in a t-shirt and shorts and nothing else.
Sonny00:12:32Yeah, just let it hang out. That's it. That's everything. Barefoot.
Vic00:12:37I'm just going in there.
Sonny00:12:38Flip-flops.
Vic00:12:38I walked into the Italian store the other day and I hate putting on masks. I have a bandana that barely fits around my head.
JVL00:12:45Yeah, how would you find any mask that fits you?
Vic00:12:47I don't. Well, forget about the mask. You're like Maudoc over there. Thank you.
Sonny00:12:51He actually has to wrap his face like Red Dragon.
JVL00:12:53Who's the other guy I'm thinking about in the chair? That's Maudoc. Oh, that's Maudoc, yeah.
Vic00:12:59So I went in and I go in and I'm using a bandana from, oh, this is a great one. It's from a Disney cruise. It was from Pirate Night. And so, you know, it's actual bandana you're supposed to put on your head. So I wore it in there. I walked in. I saw some other customers there, a couple of other younger couples. Without masks, I immediately pulled mine down. And then I just said to them, I said, oh, thank God, I thought I was the only one who hated wearing masks.
Guest00:13:26And we all had a good laugh.
Vic00:13:28Yeah?
Guest00:13:29You all laughed.
Vic00:13:30You all laughed about the safety. And we're all feeling fine. Did you cough on them? I know, but, you know, it was fine. Okay. But, you know, it is, it's such an unpleasant experience now. People go in, everyone's like scared of everybody. We're scared of people.
JVL00:13:43Brief detour, Victorino.
Vic00:13:44Yeah, sure.
JVL00:13:45One of the things I hate about Washington is that we have in the entire Washington metro area two Italian stores. I know of like 37 different Russian gourmets. But to find a place with actual Italian stores. You know what?
Vic00:14:02I'll tell you what a real town has three of them. I know what you mean. I know what you mean. And I tell you, one of the true tests, you wouldn't know this because I know what you like and not like to eat and say it's funny, but one of the true tests of an Italian store is to order the tuna salad sub and see what they come up with, right? Because you don't think about it. But, and I'm finicky about this. And I had the tuna salad sub from the Italian store and it's fantastic because they put the oil and the vinegar on there. They put all the, it's like the works, but with tuna. And the shredded lettuce is key. And it just has all these different flavors going on. It's very exciting. And it's hard to find something like that anywhere.
Sonny00:14:42Sonny. What's a bad one?
Vic00:14:44Oh, the one would just be like a tuna salad sandwich on a sub and that's it. You know, so you get mayo and you get your tuna salad and maybe a couple of leaves of lettuce or fancy lettuce instead of the shredded lettuce, you know, and they don't put the oregano in or anything else. It's just, if you go to Subway and you get their tuna salad sub, you know.
Sonny00:15:02That's what, so that's what it is.
JVL00:15:03Do you have a lot of Italian stores, Italian stores out there in Tejas?
Sonny00:15:08No, we have a lot of Mexican restaurants.
JVL00:15:12Well, it's better than Russian.
Sonny00:15:13And it's good. I like that, but.
JVL00:15:15Better than Russian. Russian, not noted for its cuisine. Why do we need so many of their food stores?
Vic00:15:19You should, you know, it's very pickled. Their food is very pickled. If you like pickled, there was, they were pickling for a reason for the long winters. Sonny, there's a lot of Germans out there, though. Out in Dallas. Are there? Yeah, you should go to the Bavarian Grill. I think that's in Plano. You should go to Munster for Spargel Fest. I could tell you all where to go. Lots of Germans. We're all settled there.
Sonny00:15:41I'm sure there's, I'm sure there are lots of things I could do out here, but I can't do anything. Well, I guess they're not doing it right now.
Vic00:15:47Yeah, I mean, this is, this is.
JVL00:15:49Vic, when did the Germans settle out in Texas?
Vic00:15:521945, 46. No, no, no, no. I'm kidding.
JVL00:15:54I'm kidding. That was Argentina. They came up from Paraguay?
Vic00:15:57They came up. They came up from Paraguay. The U-boat, the mysterious U-boat that dropped off the two passengers, that one? Yes, that one. So anyway, I, I got, I gave myself another haircut, and yet again, Kate was busy this time. She was making dinner, so I had to do it all by myself. I have to convince myself, when you put the clip on, right, you can't get any thinner than the clip. Yeah. Right? I mean, so you could press it. You could press it against your head. Press it as much as you want. It's not going any shorter than that.
Sonny00:16:27And it's not going to suddenly be more than, oh, five millimeters. It's not my experience from trimming beards.
Vic00:16:32Oh, really?
Sonny00:16:33Yeah. I've definitely had a couple times where I, like, press a little too hard, and it's like, er.
JVL00:16:38Yeah, but your cheeks are, your cheeks are soft. I guess that's true. The cheeks are softer. Victorino, the skin is stretched so tight over his skull that there's, there's, like, no give whatsoever. It's like when you see The Rock, and you're like,
Sonny00:16:51look at his head. You could smash a, you could smash a melon on top of him.
Vic00:16:56No, no, no. So I put the five millimeter clip on, and then I take it off entirely for the rest of my body, but I just put the five millimeter clip on. But you know what? I'm getting, I'm so fixated on the, you know, and I don't have, I don't have the scissors, the barber scissors, so I don't do, because whenever you go to the barber shop, they do the buzz cut, and then they take out the scissors. They're always taking out scissors on top. I'm not doing that. So I'm beginning to look like Kim Jong-un. Speaking of which, he's still alive, and everybody's asking me what happened, and I have to explain to listeners, just because I say his name, Kim Jong-un, doesn't mean that he will immediately, it's like, it's like the Hulk. He doesn't, Bruce Banner doesn't know when he becomes the, it just, it's unknown right now. I can't control my powers is what I'm saying. That's all, that's what I'm saying. I can't control my powers.
Sonny00:17:43Has anybody?
Vic00:17:43I'm not sure how it works. I'm not sure how it works.
Sonny00:17:45Has anyone ever actually asked you about this?
Vic00:17:47No, no. It was just sort of a segue for other things. Yeah, so bear with me.
Sonny00:17:50We're just riffing.
Vic00:17:52Going off script. Can I ask? I can't go off script. Yes, Sonny.
Sonny00:17:56Can I ask you a question? Yeah, sure. Do you notice that JVL's lights behind him are like,
JVL00:18:02it's like he's a drummer in a rock band right now.
Sonny00:18:05He's got like the spotlights on him. He's wearing the tank top.
Vic00:18:08I thought it was the Rapture. He's got the cans on. Oh, yeah. No, you're right. You're right. I'll go turn the lights off.
JVL00:18:14No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Sonny00:18:16It's fine. It's fine. You can come back. He's wearing that tank top.
Vic00:18:19He's wearing that tank top.
Sonny00:18:20If you turn that, yeah. If you turn that other one off, it might be too. Oh, actually, that's much better. That's a hundred times better.
Vic00:18:27You were being bullied. Are you blinded, Sonny?
Sonny00:18:28Well, I couldn't see his pretty, pretty face. And I just like, it made me sad. No, but it really, it reminded me of like, it was like a Genesis concert.
JVL00:18:40Oh.
Vic00:18:42Minus all the coke.
Sonny00:18:45Wow. Who's to say? Oh, really? He's staying up late to edit.
Vic00:18:50You know what? You know what it was? He just drank a lot of coffee when Phil Collins flew from London to Philly. To the vet on that plane to save all those people. He just drank a lot of coffee and it worked. And no does he drink?
Sonny00:19:07He had no does.
Vic00:19:09Okay. So in other news, I would say this, though. I am facing my own challenges over the pandemic because I do. This is crazy for me to something I really much. I don't really like running, but I like running for my health. And it's been helping because I don't have dumbbells. And then I stubbed my, I really banged up my toe. Yesterday. Oh, no. I rammed it into a doorframe. It is now the color of black and purple.
JVL00:19:33Oh, you rammed it into the doorframe. Your wife didn't do anything to you. No, I haven't.
Vic00:19:39There's a great joke I had involving her and I forgot what it is. But the point is, because you write it down. I didn't write it down. Everything is written down. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you. So if I didn't, if I didn't write down the script, the right show the people, the script. They can see it right here. If I didn't write down a script and I just showed up like you guys. Here's how it goes. Ready? Here's how it goes. Okay. Are you ready? Okay. Five, four. Hello and welcome to the show. The Sub-Beacon with me and Jonathan Sonny. Sounds good to me. We're on Stitcher. And leave a review. Tell your friends. We're on Stitcher. So that's how it worked. It would be a nightmare. Everything is scripted.
JVL00:20:23As long as you said Stitcher, everybody would be happy.
Sonny00:20:25How much do you think people would pay for the Patreon? Of just this video? Can we record video? Is that a thing we can do?
Vic00:20:32I don't have my phone on. I would take a picture. Not on Squadcast. If you have your... We can figure out a way to do that. Take a picture of the screen. You can see us here. Let us know.
JVL00:20:40I want to do a live show with video. Let us know on Twitter how much you would pay for that.
Vic00:20:43Our friends.
JVL00:20:43I'm going to do this in a second here. Go to sonnybunch.onlyfans.com.
Vic00:20:47Turn on my iPhone SE. This thing's falling off the rails. Anyway, I thought...
JVL00:20:51We could do a live show on Zoom where I drink every time people tell me to. Well, that would not be possible. Drink, drink, drink. That wouldn't be safe. Drink, drink. Okay.
Sonny00:20:59That wouldn't...
Vic00:21:00No, no. But anyway, I was feeling like I was getting...
Sonny00:21:03No, but we could do it like MyFreeCams where every time they tip, you have to drink.
JVL00:21:08We turn into camboys?
Sonny00:21:10Yeah, we just turn into camboys.
Vic00:21:11I don't like the sound of that.
JVL00:21:13All right, so Victorino, your hair looks great.
Vic00:21:15Oh, thank you. Well, that's the only thing that's gone. Everything else is falling apart, but I shouldn't say things are falling apart. I'm here to cheer people up, especially one of our listeners, Faith Connors. Faith Connors. Hi, Faith. She is a longtime listener. She is a longtime listener, and I'm here to pep you up. I'm here to tell you that things... You got to have faith. Has anyone ever told you that? I'm sure no one in your whole life has ever said that. I'm the first one to say that. That's the worst. How about Faith No More? Faith No More?
Sonny00:21:40As somebody who's heard a lot of Sonny Bunches of oats jokes over the years, that is... How about Sonny Brunch? That's the worst thing that anyone has ever said. Please don't listen to him, Faith. He's a bad man. He's a bad man.
Vic00:21:51Well, Faith, I'm just here to tell you that. You know what? It can't get any worse. Am I right, JVL? The situation that we're in now. It can't get any worse.
JVL00:21:59So, Faith, everything's going to get a ton worse. And it's really, really bad.
Vic00:22:07How long is the extension cord on your toaster? Do you bring it to your bathtub? Listen to the show now.
JVL00:22:13Just... But it's not the zombie apocalypse. It's not Ebola.
?00:22:20No.
JVL00:22:21I'm for reals. In the Steven Soderbergh version of this, things are much worse. That's actually true. It's actually true. Contagion. There you go.
Vic00:22:31Sonny, have you decided to kick back and hold the microphone on your stomach? Is it resting on you?
JVL00:22:38Can you tilt the screen, Sonny?
Sonny00:22:39I want to see what's going on there. I want to see the whole thing. Hold on. Hold on. Let me... Again, how much would you people pay for this right now? How's this? Is this better? It's great.
JVL00:22:48Why don't you just try undoing one button just to see how it feels? If I wasn't wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants...
Vic00:22:53What are you getting?
JVL00:22:55If we pause while I pull it up, could I play the... Calvin Klein ad that I found the YouTube video for? Can we pause?
Sonny00:23:03Is that a thing we can do?
JVL00:23:04I'm asking you seriously. Sure. Would you be down for that so we could play that audio? I don't care.
Sonny00:23:09Go for it. I'm done. I'm done caring. All right.
Vic00:23:12We're at 2320. Okay, good. The show's almost over now. Moving right...
Sonny00:23:17Wait, wait, wait. I'm going to pull up... You had something?
Vic00:23:20Oh. He's going to actually pull it up. Oh, for heaven's sake.
JVL00:23:24Oh, my God. Wasn't this hysterical, Victorino?
Vic00:23:26It was... You know what? The worst part is I watched the whole thing. Twice. Of course.
JVL00:23:31You couldn't take your...
Vic00:23:32Twice. And it felt very weird at times. And then I watched it again and it felt less weird. And then I felt really sleepy.
Sonny00:23:39We should honestly just keep all of this in the show. I don't know why we're...
Guest00:23:57Hold on, I'm going to find the...
JVL00:24:12The one at the end is the best though. With the guy with the hard... You look like you work out a lot. You're proud of your body. It's strictly...
Guest00:24:18I'd like to think so. You think you can rip that shirt off of it?
Sonny00:24:22Wait, wait. So wait, I don't understand. This was actually on... This was actually on network television in the 1970s?
JVL00:24:31No, 90s. It was in the 90s.
Sonny00:24:33Oh, it was in the 90s.
JVL00:24:34Wait, it was in the 90s? Hold on.
Vic00:24:35Yes, totally. It was totally in the 90s. I don't know.
Sonny00:24:38I didn't watch this sort of perverted filth in my parents' home.
Vic00:24:44It is strictly a coincidence that that guy's voice and mine sounded similar. I did not do the voiceover.
Sonny00:24:49It really is like something out of Boogie Nights. Like, I'm actually like shocked.
Vic00:24:54The funny thing is they did it before Boogie Nights. I could see if they were doing it before Boogie Nights. They were trying to do it after, but there's no homage there. Right, right. That's what I was going to say. It's very unseemly.
Sonny00:25:02That's fascinating. No, I have moved the mic to my stomach. I'm holding it. I'm just like holding it on me. And this is an homage to Joel McHale, who I saw doing a community live chat. Oh, and he did it that way. He got comfortable. No, but he wasn't doing it like this because he's not a lazy slob. He actually cares about his appearance and stuff. But he was doing a video chat, and he was actually holding the... The mic, and I was like, wait a second, you can do that with a Yeti mic? And now I want to do it all the time. So I'm testing this out. I'm testing this out this week. Maybe I'll do it on my professional show across the movie aisle. It's on the...
JVL00:25:40Well, good. We just killed 26 minutes of the show. That's good. Since there are no movies.
Sonny00:25:44JVL, did the episode of the JVL show with me go up yet?
JVL00:25:49It did. It went up the night we taped it. Oh, good. Oh, great.
Sonny00:25:54Fantastic.
JVL00:25:55TheJVLshow.com The JVL show. Yeah. That was huge. Huge. A lot of people loved it. A lot of numbers. Good numbers. The biggest numbers. The best numbers you've ever seen.
Sonny00:26:03JVL, I have a question. Yeah. Should we replace the box office segment with us analyzing what the top 10 things on Netflix are?
JVL00:26:13We could do that for a little while. I mean, I worry that it confines us just to Netflix and not to the broader streaming.
Sonny00:26:20Netflix is the only thing that matters, though, man. Netflix is... You wash your whore mouth. I respect for Lord Bezos. Netflix is going to buy Disney. And Amazon, too. In a stock swap. And then it's just going to be Netflix versus Amazon for the rest of time.
JVL00:26:38Yeah, I'll take Amazon in that.
Vic00:26:40You guys were in a state about Universal versus Trolls World Tour in the movie theater. What exactly happened there? Because I didn't actually give a shit.
JVL00:26:48We went and did a whole show so that you wouldn't have to listen to us talk about it.
Sonny00:26:52We literally did an episode of the JVL show so you wouldn't have to hear about it.
Vic00:26:57No, but I... The last thing I care about is movies.
Sonny00:27:00No, but here's the thing, JVL. Do you know how many people saw the Chris Hemsworth movie Extraction in the first seven days?
JVL00:27:10I don't. Can you tell me?
Sonny00:27:1290 million people watched at least two minutes of Extraction.
Vic00:27:18So like when it automatically goes on in three, two, one, and it starts playing, that counts?
JVL00:27:22You know, two minutes is a conscious choice. Instead of watching the credits, I want to watch the credits.
Sonny00:27:26That's a conscious choice. It's a conscious choice that people have made. They're like, I want to watch Extraction. So I... No, I'm fascinated.
JVL00:27:32So that means that it opened essentially to $180 million.
Sonny00:27:37No, no, no, no, no. If 90 million people saw it in its first week, that's a $900 million opening week.
?00:27:45Wow.
Sonny00:27:46Think about it. It's huge. Shut up, please. Think about what Netflix is doing.
JVL00:27:50Why are they not putting these things in theaters? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. They could make so much money. People are dying to see this content.
Sonny00:27:56No, I... It's funny. I have instituted a rule at RebellarMedia.com that if you mention viewership numbers on Netflix in the headline, you have to put in parentheses for at least two minutes. That's the rule. So if the number that Netflix is saying is 90 million people are going to watch Extraction in the first week, you have to say, according to Netflix claims, 90 million people watched Extraction, parentheses, for at least two minutes, end parentheses.
JVL00:28:28So the serious question is, what are we going to replace this segment with? And what I would like to do is I would like to just have this segment be what Dr. Matus is watching.
Vic00:28:38I know. I tried to ask him all that, and I tried to get him to watch some other movies. You don't have to. No, no, you don't. Literally anything he has watched. It has to be organic, is what you're saying.
Sonny00:28:49It has to just be like, hey, what are you watching? First off, you should not tell him that we're mining his life for content. I didn't. Hashtag content. Second, the thing that makes the whole bit work is him just saying, him just like texting you like what he's actually watching.
Vic00:29:08These short little...
Sonny00:29:09And the third thing, the third thing that makes a segment work is you doing his accent. I mean, in my dad's voice. That's the only way this works.
Vic00:29:17Sometimes Judy answers the voice, hello. Hello. You were once a general surgeon. I don't know how the patient comes out of the, you know, out of the... Hello. That's how it is. A very friendly demeanor. Let's see here.
JVL00:29:33Has he watched the Love at Any Price or whatever? No, no, no. What is the stupid Netflix series that you were like, oh.
Vic00:29:39I'm the only one who wants to watch that, frankly. Too Hot to Handle? Too Hot to Handle.
JVL00:29:45There is no actual nudity in it, Victorino.
Vic00:29:48Oh, yes. He says, he reminded me again. He said, thank you, because I told him to watch...
Guest00:29:53Come on, no, no, do the voice.
Vic00:29:54Okay, I told him to watch Spencer Confidential. I told him to watch Spencer Confidential. Spencer Confidential. And he said, thank you. We'll see that one. I also suggest to check a series, Freud in Netflix. Interesting movie, rated R. So, that was it. Rated R. Does that... Who knows what that means?
Sonny00:30:13Wait, does he say that to you because he thinks it might hit one of your quadrants?
Vic00:30:18I know. I think without realizing, without realizing that I do the quad... He wouldn't know what I'm talking about with the quadrants. Yes. Right, right, right. I think it was a rated R, so, you know, don't watch it with the kids. No, no, no.
Sonny00:30:29Obviously, he doesn't understand the Matus quadrant system.
JVL00:30:33How do you know? He's a man, too. Maybe, maybe the quadrants actually started with him.
Sonny00:30:39No, but the quadrants... Again, let me... No, no, no, no. But the quadrants exist beyond us. The quadrants are not a thing that Vic Matus created. He discovered? He just quantified them. That's right, that's right. He just quantified them. The quadrant system is what all of us are looking for in life. From our movies.
Vic00:30:58Again, and we have, to a certain extent, similar tastes because when we were kids and he got that enormous RCA VHS player, the VCR, the VCR, they said to him, you can pick two movies. Yeah, you get two free movies because it must have cost an enormous amount of money to buy a VCR.
JVL00:31:18Oh, yeah, at the time.
Vic00:31:19In the early 80s, right? At the time, VHS was $1,000. And I have, to this day, I have no idea what the other movies were available that he could have chosen. So, the two movies he chose were Flash Gordon. Flash Gordon and Enter the Dragon. And let me tell you, both crushed the quadrants. Crush it. Enter the Dragon, there was heroin, there was sex trafficking. I had no idea. But Flash Gordon? Flash Gordon was PG. Flash Gordon is extremely, yes, but it is, you know what, I re-watched it. What? No, it's Booker Rogers. Listen, Ornella Muti, who was Ming's daughter, watch that. It's very, I turned it on and then Kate objected and she's like, we can't watch this with the kids. It was too suggestive. It was pretty good. It was pretty wild. And you know, the only thing I didn't realize about Flash Gordon was that's not, that's not his voice. Sam Jones. They had like a, like he, there was a falling out before they finished the movie, so he left.
JVL00:32:12They did a David Prowse on him?
Vic00:32:14Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of awkward. And I didn't know that until I watched the documentary, which I believe is on Netflix.
Sonny00:32:19I actually, yeah, yeah, I know.
Vic00:32:20We did a whole show on that movie.
Sonny00:32:22It's very sad. We should, next week.
JVL00:32:23Oh, I would love to do Flash Gordon.
Vic00:32:25I would do it in a heartbeat. You know what I was going to say? We could always substitute, we could always substitute Box Office with Book Talk. Sonny, I understand there's a new book that we could be talking about.
JVL00:32:37Listen, can we be very, very careful here? Because. About what? I respect Vic's powers. I don't understand them, but I respect them. I don't understand them either. And I think we need to come to an agreement that Sonny, you and I may say the name of the person we're going to talk about, but Vic must not. If Vic says it, if Vic says it, he's dead. He has six days.
Vic00:32:56Oh, okay. All right. So this is a movie about that guy. Six days. Who played Jim Morrison in that Oliver Stone movie. And he was Iceman. Cal Vilmer. Cal Vilmer. Sonny, go.
Sonny00:33:14So we are talking about Val Kilmer because he's.
Vic00:33:17What a big boy review.
Sonny00:33:18He's got a new book out called I'm Your Huckleberry. It's a memoir. I haven't read it yet because I literally just got it from Amazon. A day ago.
Vic00:33:28So sadly, he's 60. He's about 60.
Sonny00:33:31He's 60. He's a little over 60, 60 something. I don't know. I'll be 62. He's had the cancer. He's had a bunch of stuff. Throat cancer. He's had a bunch of bad stuff. But he's he's a trooper. He's still with us. And he is. He's got this. He's got this new book out. I don't have anything to say about it. Because, again, I literally just got the book. Oh, you do. So you didn't go. I get it. I need thoughts about. I'll come to.
Vic00:33:59I'll come back. Juilliard.
Sonny00:34:01I'll come back to this in a second. But no, I unfortunately was not able to read the book as I had kind of wanted to. Because, again, Amazon, Lord Praise Bezos, has provided the country. He's provided the country with all of the essential goods and needs. And he was unfortunately not able to give me Val Kilmer's I'm Your Huckleberry in time for me to read it for this show. But believe it or not, I'm still giving it the highest five stars. You should buy the book.
Vic00:34:32I was going to say, Sonny, that actually never stopped me from reviewing, discussing. I shouldn't say reviewing. I didn't mean to say reviewing. Discussing. Discussing in person a book that I have not read. Thank you.
Sonny00:34:46I'm sorry.
Vic00:34:48I'm looking forward to. Because, you know, you hear two things, right, about this guy. One, he seems very cool. He seems very fun. And he's certainly committed to the various projects that he does. On the other hand, you hear other stories, right, JVL, that he is very difficult to work with.
JVL00:35:11Yeah, that's been kind of the rap on him. Certain people have said that.
Vic00:35:15Directors have said that. You know, not. Joel Schumacher.
JVL00:35:19Yeah, Joel Schumacher. You know, frankly, I'll take the side of anybody who is against Joel Schumacher.
Vic00:35:25How about John Frankenstein? John Frankenheimer, that amazing movie, The Island of Dr. Moreau.
JVL00:35:30Well, but the problem wasn't Frankenheimer and Kilmer there. The problem was Brando and Kilmer. And again, I'm willing to believe him. I'm very interested to hear your guys' rankings of Val Kilmer performances. But I have two things to say about him. One of which is that he typifies. I remember reading this as like a New York profile. Alec Baldwin some years ago. And what Alec Baldwin said was in the 90s and 2000s, the way Hollywood worked was that if you were the star of a blockbuster, you got an all-access pass to Hollywood for about six years. And you could get any role you want, any movie you wanted to do. You could get greenlit.
Vic00:36:18Right, right, right.
JVL00:36:19But the thing is, by like year six, if you don't have another blockbuster, you go to movie jail. And your days as a leading man are, over. And you get basically relegated to being a character actor. And that's what happened to Alec Baldwin. You know, he got Hunt for Red October and then just sort of dicked around and didn't get another blockbuster until he thought The Getaway was going to be his. Yeah, remember what beat him out? Ace Ventura, Pepe Detective. Yeah, that's right. And this is, when you look at Kilmer's career, this is what happened to him. So he establishes himself with Real Genius and Top Gun, which shows what a great range he has. He becomes a real movie star with The Doors. And then he gets this run where he has Tombstone, Batman Forever, and Heat. He's like the hottest guy in Hollywood. And what he gets out of that stretch where he has his all-access pass is a bunch of smaller movies and then The Island of Dr. Moreau, which doesn't quite work. The Ghost in the Darkness doesn't quite work. The Saint doesn't quite work.
Vic00:37:21Is that the one with the lion and Michael Douglas?
JVL00:37:23It is. And then Red Planet, which doesn't quite work. And then he goes to movies. J. Allen becomes a character actor. And you know what, though? Screw Hollywood because he's one of these guys who came to Hollywood and beat the house. He played by his own rules. He never compromised himself artistically. He worked steadily for four decades, and he got to walk away with his dignity intact. And there are not a lot of actors who manage that.
Vic00:37:46I think you forgot to mention the movie where he was blind.
JVL00:37:49With Mirsa, the Mirservino vehicle. What was that called? At First Sight, maybe? Blind Faith. No.
Vic00:37:57That's about New Jersey. No, I'm right. At First Sight.
JVL00:38:01Anyway, in the middle, you know, he does Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. He does Spartan. He does a bunch of, like, interesting work in Pollock. And, you know, he's even the villain and is very funny in that stupid MacGruber Saturday Night Live version of him. But he's great in it.
Sonny00:38:19And he's constantly working with, like, people he respects. Like, he was in Twixt, which is the Francis Ford Coppola. Horror movie in the, like, mid-2000s. Again, like, it's a movie that nobody has seen but is, like, kind of interesting. And it's Val Kilmer working with somebody who he really respects. And, like, I find Val Kilmer to be totally fascinating. And I feel like we've already done a Val Kilmer show at some point. Somebody is going to, like, ping us on Twitter and be like, you guys have already done this.
JVL00:38:52No, we didn't because he's still alive. That's true.
Sonny00:38:55That's true. I don't know. But, like, I am a huge, huge fan. And, like, so the one thing I tried to look up in this book was his work in The Snowman. Do you guys remember this terrible, terrible movie? So there was a, hold on, let me, there was a movie that came out in 2017. Yeah, the horror movie, right? It was a horror movie. Well, it was, like, a horror thriller. It was basically, like, a... What is this? The Stieg Larsson books. The... The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It was basically a Girl with the Dragon Tattoo knockoff movie. It was by a, like, a Swedish-Norwegian something or other. Hi, Thomas. Hi. Yes. Finn. It was a Finn. It was actually a Finn author.
Vic00:39:48Oh, so a Norwegian like Thomas.
Sonny00:39:50Who wrote this book, The Snowman. And the hero of this book, his name is Finn. His name is Harry Hole.
JVL00:39:59Hmm.
Sonny00:39:59Harry Hole is the hero. Played by Michael Fassbender in the movie. But Val Kilmer...
Vic00:40:06Oh, he loves Michael Fassbender, yeah.
Sonny00:40:07Val Kilmer has a small but pivotal role as a guy who does nothing in this film. And, like, literally the whole movie is, like, centered around his character. And, like, the big twist involves him. Except for the fact that they have totally edited Val Kilmer out of the movie. Literally, at one point, they show Val Kilmer. Like, jumping out of a window. Like, to get away from a party scene where everybody else is hanging out. And I couldn't help but think that, like, this is a thing that just happened on set. And they captured it. And then they put the voice in on top of it.
JVL00:40:40So, I was actually...
Sonny00:40:41I actually, before the show started, I scanned I Am Your Huckleberry to see if this story was in the book at all. And it is not. And I'm very sad that it isn't. Because I want the truth about what happened on The Snowman. The terrible... The worst... The worst movie of Val Kilmer's entire career. Not there, unfortunately.
JVL00:41:01Interesting. Victorino, without saying his name, what are your thoughts?
Vic00:41:05Well, last night I re-watched one of my old 80s favorites, Real Genius.
JVL00:41:11Oh, that's right!
Vic00:41:11I love Real Genius.
JVL00:41:13So, it holds up?
Vic00:41:14Yeah, I mean, it's 80s fare, you know? I mean, it's like a Cold War comedy. It's funny because things like Star Wars, not the movie, but like Reagan's Star Wars, SDI, the strategic movie, the strategic defense initiative, that really scared a lot of people, probably, in Hollywood. They came up with all sorts of ideas for movies to bake around it, like Spies Like Us. Remember Spies Like Us, the whole thing with the satellite, you know, using it as a weapon, you know, the laser, the weapon. And Real Genius is the same exact thing. And it came out, this is interesting, it came out in 1985, and it's at Pacific Tech, but really it's just a riff on Caltech. Caltech, right. It's all about Caltech. And they said, like, a lot of the pranks that the kids did with the frozen, you know, the dry ice. Liquid nitrogen. Liquid nitrogen, and the whole thing. I'll help you with the science stuff. Thank you. Thank you. Because I did SFS, you know, safe from science. It was like ice and it disappeared. And, yeah, and it's funny because, you know, he was, I mean, obviously he got top billing, but it was really about this nerd kid played by this character actor, Gabe Jarrett. And I always wondered what happened to him. And I remember seeing him many years later in Apollo 13. Oh, that's right. That is him.
JVL00:42:27He was a tech guy.
Vic00:42:27He was a tech guy.
JVL00:42:28Yes. And it was great. Until you said it, I never put that together.
Vic00:42:30Yeah, what happened to Gabe Jarrett? And, of course, the villain is the, Professor Hathaway is played by the great William Atherton, who is the news anchor guy, the sleazy news guy in Die Hard. Yeah. Right. And he has a number of, obviously, other roles. I used to confuse him and Paul Gleeson. But anyway, and so, yeah, and so our friend, Cal Vilmer, you know, he plays Chris Knight, who is this genius, and then he realizes that this laser that he and the young kid put together is going to be used for basically a sort of Star Wars weapon, and then they have to stop it. Are there boobies in this movie?
Guest00:43:13No.
Vic00:43:14Are you sure about that? No, they're not, but there's a great, there's a few funny scenes. Oh, there's, I don't think there's any nudity, but there's some funny scenes. In a 1985 comedy. Yeah, I know, shocking. Crazy. If you think about, Sixty Candles had a great, yes, Sonny.
Sonny00:43:32Question. I have a question. Have you seen Real Genius? I have, I have.
Vic00:43:38And he's great.
Sonny00:43:40Which is better, Real Genius or Top Secret?
JVL00:43:43Real Genius.
Vic00:43:45Yeah. No. You're wrong. You're both wrong. Top Secret is better. Top Secret has moments, and I understand it's basically like, you know, the Zucker Brothers saying, let's do Airplane, but for our World War, favorite World War II movies. Like, you know, The Dirty Dozen or whatever. So much better. I like it. It's a good movie.
JVL00:44:02That's right. It's just not as good as Real Genius. Real Genius is an absolute classic.
Vic00:44:05I guess it merits re-watching Top Secret. And that was his first film debut. That's what's crazy. I mean, he was, according to IMDb, and he was, as I mentioned, a Juilliard guy. He was a Juilliard.
JVL00:44:19He was, but he was palling around New York with, like, Kevin Bacon and Sean Penn and all of those, all of those guys. Now, here's what I think.
Vic00:44:26I was going to ask you guys. So, you know, I thought Real Genius is great, but I don't know how much of it is because it reminds me of the 80s, right? And so I think, oh, I love that. And the music and everything else is just a lot of time. Synths. A lot of synths. A lot of synths. There's, well, I'm not going to go through the memory lane there with some of the movie lines, but my point is, it is a year before Top Gun. And they're two entirely different, I mean, they're both cocky, but physically very different looking people.
JVL00:44:56Well, I mean, he's wearing his Hawaiian shirts all through Real Genius. He's much more buff.
Vic00:45:04He obviously was much more buff for that role. And I always thought it's like, you know, did he grow a few more inches? And you go, no, no, he's just standing next to Tom Cruise.
JVL00:45:13You know, one of the things about his performance in Top Gun, which I think is, again, deeply underappreciated, is that he's the villain of the piece. But he pulls it off without actually being a villain.
Sonny00:45:31Well, because he's right. Exactly.
JVL00:45:34No, because Maverick. Right, right, right, right, right. And he has to think of himself. He has to think of himself as not.
Sonny00:45:39Maverick actually is a loose cannon. Exactly.
JVL00:45:42But he, I mean, what Kilmer does with his portrayal is he serves the role of being the villain for the movie because you need somebody there for Cruise's Maverick to push off against it. But not even just in the characters of mine, but even in the audience. Once you step back and think about it a little bit, you realize, yes, actually, of course, Iceman is exactly right. Everything about that, you know, the way he snaps his teeth together.
Vic00:46:08Let me ask you guys this. Now, obviously, Sonny was just a baby at the time, but JVL, did you see Willow in the movie theater? Because I did. I'm pretty sure I did. If I didn't, then I rented it on VHS. It's George Lucas. Was it really direct? Was it just a George Lucas movie? It was produced by. It was directed by. It was directed by Ron Howard. Produced by. Directed by Ron Howard.
JVL00:46:30Yeah. Yeah. I think I saw a bit on all that stuff. When I saw the Dark Crystal.
Vic00:46:35I was like, I got to see this movie. It's George Lucas.
JVL00:46:38And then. Well, the Dark Crystal is great.
Vic00:46:40But I thought Willow was fine. But it is kind of like, I don't know, Star Wars-ish, but taking place in a fantasy. Yeah, Willow. The villain is a Darth Vader-ish villain. He has this mask, you know.
Sonny00:46:50Willow is totally fine. And it only works because Val Kilmer is insanely funny as Mad Mardigan. I mean, like, that is the only reason the movie works.
Vic00:46:59You know what's strange? You don't see that movie a lot. Like, it's not on the rotation. It's not Shawshank. Yeah, no, it's not. I've never seen Willow on TV. I definitely.
Sonny00:47:07Oh, well, I definitely saw it a lot growing up in the 90s. Like, as a teen. I still remember the movie. Watching a lot of HBO. That Willow was a regular. Oh, okay. Was a regular. But it's definitely like, again, the only reason that movie works is because Val Kilmer really, like, sells Mad Mardigan as an as like an insane adventurer, like, but also coward, you know, whatever. It's good.
JVL00:47:37Do you guys want to give me a ranking? No. Okay.
Vic00:47:42Yeah. Vic, you go first. There's the obvious ones. No, I didn't have a ranking. I love the heat.
Sonny00:47:48I don't have a ranking because I like I'm not I it's it's hard to rank his his roles because they're so disparate over. They're very such a stretch of time. I mean, like, how are you supposed to, you know, judge Gay Perry against Jim Morrison, Jim Morrison, or, you know, the guy from Heat?
JVL00:48:11I will say this. I have. No, it's funny. Actually, I have affection for him as an actor than almost anybody from his class. Interesting. Sonny, you got a prop there. No. I'm sorry. Can you define his class? I mean, his generation of, so, you know, the guys who are between the ages now of 50 and 65.
Vic00:48:38Rob Lowe, and he had a memoir, which I heard is great.
JVL00:48:44Yeah. All right. Well, we made it. That's 50 minutes. Good. We're ready to go.
Vic00:48:48You got the book?
JVL00:48:50What's your ranking? Oh, yeah. You must have a ranking. I couldn't. I know I don't. I couldn't put it together for the same reason you guys just.
Sonny00:48:55Like, it's actually hard. It's hard to do. And so, like, so, I have the book here. I'm showing it to you guys.
Vic00:49:00Yeah, look at that.
Sonny00:49:01Remilk Jav Lav. Can you guys see it? What? No, it's backwards. Oh, only for you.
JVL00:49:09Not for us. For us, it's fine.
Sonny00:49:11Oh, for you, it's fine? Really? No, for me, it's backwards. That's fine. Yeah, that's how computers work. I do. They're cameras. Fascinating. So, no, but on the back, it has, it has, like, his headshots. Here, I'll show you. Remilk Lav, I can say that. So, it has his headshots with characters, right? Except for the fact that, like, you get, like, I'm your Batman, I'm your Lizard King, and then when it gets to, then when it gets to heat it, I'm your bank robber. Oh, boo. And I just, I saw that and I literally laughed out loud. I was like, that's the worst thing I've ever seen. Yeah. Just because it's like, that's not, that's not, that's not what it is. It's so much more than that. Like, that would work for Tom Sizemore, right? Like, that would work. That would actually.
Vic00:49:57I'm your Chirito?
Sonny00:49:58For him, for him, for him, the heat is the juice. But, like, the action is the juice. The action is the juice. But, like, I just, like, I was, anyway, I'm sorry. Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to derail us. That's fine. We got, it got us over the line to 50 minutes.
Vic00:50:13I think, I believe we got derailed right after Hello and Welcome is when we got derailed. Good show, guys. Yeah, good show. Okay. Maybe I should drink again next time. Maybe that'll help. I don't think, this is, this is a, these are, these are, these are, these are, these are These are trying times. These are trying times. These are trying times. Okay.
Sonny00:50:29What was, wait, Vic, what was your idea for next week's show?
Vic00:50:36Which one?
JVL00:50:37Flash Gordon.
Sonny00:50:38Flash Gordon.
Vic00:50:39We should just do Flash Gordon. Oh, easy. Screw it. Let's do Flash Gordon. I've only seen it about 500 times.
Sonny00:50:45I've never, this is a true story. I've never actually seen it. Me too. I've never seen it.
Vic00:50:51Oh, my gosh. It's amazing. We should watch it. Again, when I saw it in the theater, I thought, it's better. It's better than Star Wars. We should rank. We should rank.
JVL00:50:59Between the ages of like eight and ten, most amazing movie ever. And Max von Sydow. It's called Flash Gordon. Right. That's what I'm looking up on to buy from Amazon.
Sonny00:51:09That's right.
JVL00:51:09That's right. Okay.
Sonny00:51:10We should rank, we should also rank Queen's soundtracks, obviously.
Vic00:51:13Oh, that is, it's an amazing soundtrack. There's even these funny moments in the movie where it's like this weird, like, the princess's theme song. And it's this really high falsetto voice. And it's still Freddie Mercury. He did, like, the whole thing. He did the whole thing. So, worth checking out. Remember that line when you watch it, because that's Freddie. All right. Wow. Good to know. What a show. Yeah. Quick, okay, corrections, shout outs, quick shout out, just words of encouragement to my nephew, Robbie Dwyer, who has learned to cook scrambled eggs. My advice to him, low heat, more salt, and a spoon. Splash a heavy cream or half and half. Sonny, are you still doing fried eggs, scrambled eggs? Oh, yeah. Do you still do three eggs a day?
Sonny00:52:03Four. I try to have lunch be four eggs fried with Pam, not butter, Pam, and with fruit, with, like, an apple and a banana or something, you know? It keeps me thin and young and vital.
Vic00:52:24I'm not... I'm not talking about, like, here's what you need to eat to look like this.
Sonny00:52:28I'm resting this microphone on my gut, and it's fine. Okay, good.
JVL00:52:34And that's all the time we have. Wait, no, no, stop, stop. I got a shout-out. Oh, my goodness, JVL. Somebody sent me a big jar of powdered cheese, and I don't know who, because there was no address they wanted. Again?
Vic00:52:47Who are these people? It must be somebody from the show. Wait, wait. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Sonny00:52:51Thank you. Somebody sent... So this is... I had just... I had totally forgotten about this until right now. I got an email. I got an email from the office manager at the CineState offices. Somebody sent a book about shining shoes to the CineState offices. So whoever did this, I don't know if you left a note and...
Vic00:53:14Let me say this. Let me say this. Either we have a lot of devoted fans who care about us during this time, or one person who is going to stalk us and kill us. I'm not sure which one it is. I'm happy with either. Okay.
Sonny00:53:26This is actually a Fangoria movie. I'm going to pitch this to Fangoria. A trio of podcasters who do a group show are hunted one by one by their biggest fan until they're dead.
Vic00:53:38I had a shout-out, but I was going to save it for the stinger. Unless you have a stinger, I'll do the shout-out now, or I'll do it after.
JVL00:53:45Let's do it after. Save it, because I don't have a stinger.
Vic00:53:47In that case, that's all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments, tweet us at Sonny Bunch, at Victorino Mattis. At JVLast. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher. Just type in Sub-Beacon on a podcast. We're there. Leave a review. Tell your friends. Until next time. So, I'm not drinking water here. It's Sambuca, right? No, no. Get ready for this. I got this from a Sub-Beacon listener, Brian Birch, who sent this all the way from Texas Is that Tito's? No. The Wild Rag. The Wild Rag from Sandia, Texas, which is further down, Sonny, and it is distilled from
Sonny00:54:36Distilled from the Mesquite Beans.
Vic00:54:38How do you know about this, Sonny?
Sonny00:54:40Brian also reached out to me. He sent me a bottle. I have not dipped into it yet.
Vic00:54:44It is delicious. Every time I drink it, I want to be like, Bastardi.
JVL00:54:47No, you're drinking it. Yes.
Vic00:54:50It's a Texas vodka distilled from Mesquite Beans, and I'm drinking it straight, which
Sonny00:54:55is a sign that it's good. You have been drinking it, again, like Sambuca. I actually thought you were drinking Sambuca, and I was like, what is Vic drinking there?
Vic00:55:04You know what that's like, because it's viscous. It's not water. And it's called Wild Rag. Wild Rag. The only problem is, after I do a couple shots of these, and then Kate says to me, like, you know, can you go out to the store and pick this up? And I says, I can. I'm on the rag.
Sonny00:55:16The Wild Rag.
Vic00:55:19Shouldn't that be the slogan?
Sonny00:55:20That should actually be the advertisement. It should be like, they should do like a Coen Brothers-style ad.
Vic00:55:26JVL looks like their head hurts.
Sonny00:55:28You're sitting there, you're drinking, you're drinking like water in a cup. You're drinking water in a cup, and she comes up to you and says, hey, honey, can you go out and get up? Get me some tampons. And then she says, and then you say, then you say, no, I can't. I'm on the rag. And then you pull up the bottle, like Japanese commercial style, and you're like, ah, Wild Rag. I'm sure it's not fine. I'm sure it's not fine.
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