#65. Flash Gordon, ZZ Top Lyrics, and Vic’s Basement
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For once the roles are reversed: Vic has seen Flash Gordon something closer to 400 times since catching it in theaters at age seven, while Sonny and JVL are first-timers, and they land on opposite sides. Sonny hates it, arguing that its camp is fatal because purposeful camp is a contradiction in terms — camp only works when someone is earnestly pouring their heart into something that turns out terrible — and while he grants that pros like Max von Sydow, Timothy Dalton and Brian Blessed are simply being good at acting, the costumes look cheap and chintzy down to the visible seams and iron-on gold stripes, and the football-fight sequence is preposterous rather than funny. He also admits he was drinking heavily and still barely stayed awake. JVL loves it precisely for the weirdness bursting through the seams, describing it as The Wizard of Oz meets Plan 9 from Outer Space meets Basic Instinct, marveling at the bazillion-dollar practical sets that anticipate Asgard's throne room, and declaring the whole thing a Rosetta stone for finally understanding Vic — chiefly through Ornella Muti's Princess Aura, her pleasure moon and her frank interest in the Arborean initiation ceremony. Vic supplies the plot summary, the Ming the Merciless action figure, and the lore from the Beyond Flash documentary: Brian Blessed really goosing Melody Anderson to get a genuine reaction, Peter Wyngarde arguing the director out of killing Klytus in hopes of a sequel, Dino De Laurentiis casting Topol on a coin flip and hiring Mike Hodges because "I like your face," and Sam Jones walking off over a contract dispute and being dubbed over out of spite for the rest of the picture — which Sonny concedes explains a great deal about the line readings, though he blames the producing. Around it: Vic broadcasts from his wood-paneled basement after being exiled from the bedroom on Mother's Day, Sonny is fraying at the end of his ropes juggling four jobs and twelve hours of daycare and threatens to keep the quarantine beard and go live in the woods, JVL discovers via Guitar Hero that ZZ Top's "La Grange" is about a $10 whorehouse, and the pair thank listener Robert Little for the Aviary cocktail book, birthday butter powder and a note typed on an East German Groma Kolibri.
From the show notes
#cdata-section -------------- In this latest episode sponsored by DoorDash, we discuss the soon-to-be-rereleased Flash Gordon . JVL calls ...
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00Rocket ajax still approaching life-form scanners identify earthling gordon at the controls we guarantee its destruction when it reaches the lightning field Wait, we've got to deactivate the lightning field. Where are the atomic generators? There's no time. There's six miles underground
Vic00:00:27Welcome to another edition of The Sub-Beacon, sponsored by DoorDash. I'm Victor Matus along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last Just a reminder, The Sub-Beacon is available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. Look at our podcast, search for Sub-Beacon You'll easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, and leave a review Gentlemen, how are we? Happy Mother's Day! Vic, where are you? Okay, so I've been kicked out of my house. No, I've been kicked out Finally! Happy Mother's Day! I'm calling from the- I'm broadcasting from the Motel 6. I'm broadcasting from the Americana Motel in Crystal City I'm in the basement because she said she hated that I was using the bedroom for the recording instead of So she can't be there. A pleasure moon? Yes, very- your bedroom should be a pleasure moon. That's right. They all should be and so I said well hold on I said like I could move downstairs somewhere and then I figured out the only place that would be suitable would be the Basement which as you can see JVL is also the same basement where they filmed the Calvin Klein commercial You know, I was gonna say that actually you have the wood paneling behind you
JVL00:01:39This is you know, I don't- Is that where you bring local boys from the neighborhood down for just some photo shoots? Just to help out with their head shots. That's where you get the blue eyes.
Vic00:01:48Can you rip that shirt off? I think, you know, it really is and I think the wood paneling This house- Was it original or did you put it in yourself? It might be. No, no, no. This house is from- this was- we moved in here in 2006. The house was from 1939, 1940, so I imagine that the paneling was probably sometime in the 60s that it was put- It's fine It does the job. The weirdest thing- the weirdest thing about the setup is- so behind me is Shockingly something that Kate did not want in the other parts of this house, which is the boulevard I'm tilting my head of broken dreams. You remember it was like Nighthawks from Ed Hopper and that is from my sophomore year of college and it had a neon light. You could see above. It's a neon pink light Wow. But that no longer works, of course, and that really- let me tell you something. The chicks love that. And so
JVL00:02:43A neon light or a black light?
Vic00:02:48One and then the other. Oh, so this was- the funniest thing was when we did a You know like open- they have an open house of this house when we were looking at it. I go downstairs to this very basement and in this very position They actually had Edward Hopper's Nighthawks like a reproduction. So it's really weird that It was kismet that I would have placed it with the cheesiest thing possible
JVL00:03:15Anyway, so that- you're gonna get all the recent Republican presidents playing poker. That's another great one, right?
Vic00:03:21I have to steal that from the beacon office. That's that's framed on the wall. And Sonny, You're outdoors, right? Yes. Okay, Sonny, you are in the basement. You were in the backyard.
Sonny00:03:31I'm outdoors because it's lovely out and I don't spend enough time outside. So. That shocks me. Yeah, you get- we actually spent a lot of time outside today, but I
Vic00:03:43Wanted to spend a little more. Have you seen any rattlesnakes, scorpions, or armadillos in your backyard?
Sonny00:03:49No, but we do have a lot of lizards. We've got like a lot of little, you know, so cool Like little like four inch, five inch lizards. We have those here. Where?
JVL00:03:57In Woodbridge, we have lizards. Really? Little blue-tailed lizards everywhere.
Sonny00:04:01Yeah, I mean, we have, yeah, like lizards are just kind of cool. It's weird. I like, I don't know anybody who doesn't like lizards. I'm sure there are people out there who like really hate them and think they're gross. But like, I like, you see them in your house or see them like on the outside of the house, you know, Like on the walls or whatever, and you're just like, "Oh, a lizard. That's cool." Sign of good luck. At least I am.
Vic00:04:19Sign of good luck. You never see them like, you know, when I was, when I was a kid, we'd go to the Philippines and they were all over the They just, they just hang out in the house, a ton of them, like on the ceiling and they're just waiting there by the lights ready to, you know, any mosquito or fly that comes by, they're just, but you never notice that.
Sonny00:04:37I feel like, I feel like in the house it'd be a little different if it were in the house, I mean.
Vic00:04:41Yeah, they were house lizards, but they never moved. They were just like on the ceilings waiting for flies to come in and, but you never notice. It's not like they ever pooped on you. It's very strange.
Sonny00:04:49Yeah.
Vic00:04:50Anyway, there you go. How are you guys? Sonny, how is life otherwise, other than being outside?
Sonny00:04:57I'm at the end, I'm at the end of all of my ropes. I just like, I can't, I can't keep doing. What's wrong, Sonny? Oh, just this, just, I, like, I cannot, I cannot continue doing like four different jobs at work in addition to like, you know, 12 hours of daycare every day. I just, I need, I need one thing and that's, and that's, and that's the, you know, daycare situation to be resolved. What, if that, if that was taken care of, I would be, I don't need to go to a restaurant. I don't need to go to a mall. I went to, I went to Barnes and Noble this weekend to pick up, uh, uh, Flash Gordon.
Vic00:05:34Oh, you bought, I was wondering how you got it so quickly.
Sonny00:05:37I bought it on Blu-ray and I went to pick it up.
JVL00:05:39You didn't want to stream it?
Sonny00:05:40I didn't want to stream. Well, it was, it's weird because I, this, the cheapest streaming option was like eight or $9 and it was only like $2 more to just buy the Blu-ray. So I was like, ah, it has a great Alex Ross cover. I'm going to go buy, I'm going to go buy the, the Blu-ray. Um, but it was very weird. Like the, the, you know, the, the Barnes and Noble, right? Like you, you order it online and you, you go to pick it up, but when you get there, there's a little sign that's like, call the store and we'll bring it out to you and we'll either put it in your trunk or we'll leave it on this table. And then you will come in and it's just like, you can't walk in and browse. You cannot, you, you literally cannot walk into the store and like they lock the door behind themselves every time they go back in. It was very funny. And, and, but like, you know, other places are open. Like I drove past the half price books, the used bookstore, uh, to get to the Barnes and Noble. Totally. It's just open. It's just open. And it's like, you know, limited, I can't see whatever parking lot was probably, you know, a third full. Yeah. Um, people, people, I would say that there were, there were more people on the street this weekend and there were more people in parking lots of all the various stores, uh, than there have been for a long time. Um, people were definitely out and about this weekend in Dallas, Texas. They're getting Nancy, they're coming in. It's, uh, yeah, I think people have, I think people have, uh, had a, I think they just like, they, they, they're, they're basically done with us. Now that said, uh, when I went out, everybody had masks on. It was, I would say it was like a 95% mask situation at the
JVL00:07:14grocery stores. Be very careful. You're inching closer to politics. No, no. I mean, I mean,
Sonny00:07:19it just, it is what it is. It's people, people out wearing masks and doing their thing. Um,
JVL00:07:27which I'm actually going to write about tomorrow, which is that you would think that the Venn diagram of people who say we got to open everything up right now and the Venn diagram of people who say we all got to be wearing masks would be a circle, but it's not. No, it's definitely not. It's not. There's a whole bunch of people who are like, open everything up right now who are also like, I ain't wearing your slave mask. I hate wearing the mask. Freedom. I
Vic00:07:57went to the supermarket the other day. I was the only person in the supermarket without a mask. I said, you people are crazy. And it was great because everywhere I went, people went away from me. It was like every aisle was like the Red Sea, the parting of the sea in the Cecil B. DeMille Ten Commandments. You were walking the wrong way down the aisles.
Sonny00:08:14You're like, where's my toaster oven? Where's my toaster oven? I need it.
Vic00:08:18Completely wrong. I'm taking my time. I'm browsing. I said, look, if I'm going to get closer than six feet. Licking your finger to open up the bags. If I'm getting closer than six feet from you, I'll put the mask on. But why am I going to be a hundred feet away? Oh, better put the mask on in my car. Put the mask on. Good night. Put the mask on. I'm in the bathroom. I got to go to use the bathroom. Put my mask on. Well, I use that
JVL00:08:39anyway. But when you're when you're when you get to the to the checkout line, if there's a long line, just make sure the mask is on. You just start coughing. You know what? And they'll all just let you go. You just start coughing and they'll tell you.
Vic00:08:50You just go right ahead. I'll tell you where there's no line. I can't believe I'm giving away this secret. But it's in the self-checkout. Because a lot of people don't know how to use that. It's the opposite out by us.
JVL00:09:01The biggest lines are the self-checkouts because people don't want to be touching things that other people
Vic00:09:05do. Well, there you go. Other than that, Sonny, you look fine. You look like Jim Morrison when he was in Paris. Yeah. No, I
Sonny00:09:12had said that I wasn't going to trim my beard at all until this thing is over and it's like it's getting uncomfortable. I don't I don't like it.
Vic00:09:21I don't. If you wait for this to be over, you're going to be like ZZ Top. It's making
Sonny00:09:25me. I think it's actually impact my like psychological well-being. I think it's actually making me like a little bit crazy. So I may I may have the beard tomorrow. It's the beard doing that. It's I think it's all connected, man. I think it's all I think I think I'm slowly going insane from having to be around my children and from this beard and also, again, having to do like five jobs at work. So like there's just like hear that. It's just like I think I think I might I think I think I might go into the woods and just never come back. I'll keep the beard and I'll go live in the woods. So can I
JVL00:10:05can I riff off the ZZ Top thing? Yes. Because it's interesting you threw that out. We've been I think I've mentioned this before playing a lot of Guitar Hero. Oh, right. OK. Sure. Yeah. A lot of Guitar Hero and the two songs that on Legends of Rock that Flash and Favorite who rock out in co-op mode. They have a band. She plays bass. He plays lead. And bass is very important. Two favorite songs. Welcome to the Jungle, obviously. And second, the ZZ Top classic
Sonny00:10:33La Grange. Now, you may not know La Grange,
JVL00:10:38but you would know it if you heard it. It's one of the most iconic rock songs ever. It's do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Of course. Right. And because it's ZZ Top, only dogs can hear it, right? It's such a low frequency and all ears are wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Vic00:11:04Now, when you play, they don't play the lyrics. It's not like karaoke where there's lyrics
JVL00:11:09appearing. No, they're singing. Like, you know, people are singing. But anyways, the Flash and Favorite are just rocking out the other day as I'm walking through. And just out of curiosity, I was like, huh, I wonder what this song is about. So I just pulled it up. Would you care to dress? What the song La Grange, classic song included on this thing is about. What? It is about going to a whorehouse where the girls are only $10 each and they're real pretty. Wow. Well, that's what
Sonny00:11:43it's about. That's great. I mean, it's teaching the children, you know, to be thrifty. You should
Vic00:11:51have had them play one of the more wholesome ZZ Top songs like Velcro Fly.
JVL00:11:56But what struck me is, again, one of those songs which becomes totally divorced from the meaning, right? In the same way, you know, because precisely because the lyrics are indecipherable. And it's great. That's great. That's funny. So the kids obviously have no idea.
Vic00:12:14No, again, it's like me with Push Push in the Bush. You know, yeah, no, it's just like pushing
JVL00:12:20you're pushing on a bush. Do you know what I did not let my kids do? What? Watch Flashback.
Vic00:12:26Oh, again, I was I was seven. I was seven when we all went to the theater. And that's
JVL00:12:35when I thought, man, this like this bed installers. Can we just get right into it? Or do we have other things we want to pretend to talk about? Is there anything else? Is there anything
Vic00:12:46else going on JVL you wanted to chat about? I'm going to save that for the stinger. Okay. Okay, good. Yeah, sure. What time? Oh, it's it's only 12. We've been doing this for seven minutes. Yeah. Okay, good. No, let's get to flash in a second here. So I just wanted to say I, I am doing fine. And I for Mother's Day, the first thing I did was I told the kids, Mother's Day, direct all questions to me. Do you know how hard that is? Everybody wants to ask mom, nobody really wants to ask that, at least in my house, you know, it's mom for everything. So I said today, direct all your questions to me. That didn't, that worked half the time, I would say. Okay. And then the other thing I did was I made breakfast. And I have mastered the omelet. I might put up a picture of that. I did it French style where you fold it over several times. So it's not just a half moon. It's not, you know, it's, it's not a half moon omelet, but you fold it over. So it's, it's a rectangle. Yeah, that's right. That's right. So you fold it over like a crepe, basically like a crepe. And I actually, I'm wearing a French maid's uniform while you're doing it. That's right. And I got splattered. And you got splattered on Mother's Day. I got splattered from the sausage. I gave her a little breakfast sausage in the morning. Sorry, that didn't sound right. People are going to think, people are going to think that, that, you know, like, what is he talking about? But no, I actually did give her a Mother's Day gift. A banger in the mouth, as you yanks say. No, I gave her a dark chocolate bar. Also, also doesn't sound right. I don't know why that doesn't sound right. And then it was a Godiva. I'm talking about a Godiva bar. And then we had Thai for dinner, which I don't know what that means either. But, you know, anyway, what am I trying to say? I'm trying, what I'm trying to say, you know, what a lucky woman, you know, and look at this with 14 and a half minutes into the recording. It's perfect because what I'm trying to say is continue supporting restaurants in your community safely. There are thousands of restaurants open for delivery on DoorDash that need your patronage now more than ever. DoorDash is the app that brings you food you're craving right now to your door. Ordering is easy. Open the DoorDash app. Choose what you want to eat and your food will be left safely outside your door with the new contactless delivery drop off setting with over 300,000 partners in the United States, Puerto Rico, Canada and Australia. You can support your local go to's or choose from your favorite national restaurants like Chipotle, Wendy's and the Cheesecake Factory. Many of your favorite local restaurants are still open for delivery - just open the DoorDash app, select your favorite local restaurant and your food will be left at your door. DoorDash deliveries are now contactless to keep communities we operate in safe. Right now our listeners can get $5 off their first order or $15 or more and zero delivery fees for their first month when you download the DoorDash app and enter code SUBBEACON. That's $5 off your first order and zero delivery fees for a month when you download the DoorDash app. Don't forget that's code SUBBEACON for $5 off your first order with DoorDash. They will bring you your food in a flash. Speaking of which, you guys finally saw Flash Gordon. I was really quite surprised last week when sort of offhandedly you just said that I was the only one. Usually it's 99% of the time it's the other way around where you guys have watched a movie that I have watched, and you know, Justice League, stuff like that. Chinatown, Casablanca. Chinatown, Jaws, Star Wars, okay, Titanic, no. So this time was Flash Gordon, and so you guys saw, and you know what, it was funny because as soon as we sort of teased that and people really got excited on Twitter, and then they told us, yes, and then they told us about the new, well, Sonny, you discovered, or somebody else had discovered that the guy who did the cover, you just mentioned him, is-
JVL00:17:03Alex Ross, one of the great-
Vic00:17:05No idea who she is. Anyway, and is redoing the cover? Is that what's going on there? Is redoing the cover?
Sonny00:17:12Well, I mean, I don't know. And then- The cover of the Blu-ray was painted by Alex Ross.
Vic00:17:17That's right, and then that they are releasing, they're re-releasing Flash Gordon this summer in 4K.
Sonny00:17:23Yeah, there's going to be- There's going to be a 4K release.
Vic00:17:25I don't even know what 4K is, but I'm excited. It's two more K. Two more Ks. So that's exciting, and so it just happened to be perfect that they made that announcement. We mentioned it on the show, and here we are. So JVL, you streamed
JVL00:17:39it. I did. And it was everything- And Sonny- Okay, go ahead. I could ever hope for- I bought it. And more. Go, you're on. No, I bought it too. Vic, could you give us a big boy review?
Vic00:17:52I can't. Catching me on the spot, I didn't write anything down. I usually rely on my notes.
JVL00:17:57But you have seen this movie, what, 40 times? 400 times?
Vic00:18:01It's closer to 400. Closer to 400, I think, because we watch TV a lot.
JVL00:18:06Because when I texted you last night, and you were four sheets to the wind, you were just spouting lines back to me. Yes, that's right. So it's not like you have to prepare for a-
Vic00:18:13Open fire on Ajax, on Rocket Ajax. Open fire, she says, Kala says. She was like the female SS Commandant. It was very terrifying. Yes, terrifying. But she's, in fact, a very pretty actress. She died already, but she was very pretty. Most of these, they're all like Italians, you know, because it's- Dino. Okay, so that's right, Dino DeLoreis. Would that be the grandfather of Giotta? Must be. Must be the grandfather. Probably. Not father, not father.
JVL00:18:44Probably. It's got to be grandfather. So which one of you is going to do a big boy review?
Vic00:18:47Well, Sonny, you just saw it. Did you want to give a big boy? I mean, I can give you the rough- The rough stuff?
JVL00:18:52The rough stuff.
Sonny00:18:53Okay. Flash Gordon. It's a movie. All right. It's got a soundtrack by Queen.
Vic00:19:02I'm taking the picture because people like the pictures.
Sonny00:19:05I don't know how to review this movie because it's a movie that is intentionally bad. It's purposeful camp. But the problem with purposeful camp is that purposeful camp is a contradiction in terms. You cannot intentionally make camp and have it still be camp. It's just bad. And maybe it's like an homage to badness and that's fine. But what it isn't is camp. Again, we could go into a whole thing about Susan Sontag and on camp and all that, but the simple fact of the matter is that camp only really works if you're earnest and if you're pouring your heart and your soul into something and you're trying to make something really good and it turns out to be terrible. This is the problem.
JVL00:19:53What happens if one-third of the people associated with the production are earnest and two-thirds aren't? Because that's what seems to have happened here. Yes, absolutely. Where the producer, Dino DeLaurence, the lead actor is totally earnest and then all these other people around him, including the director, are shooting it as if it's camp.
Sonny00:20:15You have a situation where you have a bunch of people who are just natural pros and who are very good. So, like Timothy Dalton and Max von Sydow and what's his name? Max von what? Boss Nass, Brian Blessed. And they are just so naturally good at acting that when they come into contact with somebody like the lead, the guy who plays Flash Gordon, that it skews everything. It just throws everything off. But they, like, I would not say that they are, they were not intentionally. Not necessarily making camp necessarily, they were just being pros.
JVL00:20:56But the director seems to have had a specific, right? Mike Hodges.
Sonny00:21:00The director and the producers clearly, like, had an idea of, like, we're doing this ridiculous thing. And I don't know. I just.
JVL00:21:07But Dino didn't, right? I mean, Dino. I don't know. According to the documentary that I watched immediately after watching Flash Gordon.
Vic00:21:13Grand ambition. His grand ambition.
JVL00:21:15Dino really thought he was making a space epic. A space epic. I don't know.
Vic00:21:19A space epic more closer to Argo. Star Wars, right? I mean, if Argo became a movie, it could have been, like, Flash Gordon, basically, you know?
Sonny00:21:27Yeah. So, I.
Vic00:21:29Did you not like it, Sonny?
Sonny00:21:31No, I didn't really like it very much. What?
JVL00:21:34I found. I found. I just. It's bad.
Sonny00:21:37And, like, I realize that, like, that's part of the joy of the thing. But I couldn't get past the, you know, essential badness of it. Sorry.
JVL00:21:48So, the weirdness that was bursting. Through the seams of the badness did not catch your eye and make it so that you could not turn away from it?
Sonny00:21:58No.
JVL00:21:59Because it's a crazy, weird-ass movie.
Sonny00:22:02It's very. You know, it's very weird and it's very, oh, it's very psychosexual. I mean, honestly, I, like, it did nothing for me. It just really did nothing for me. I was, like, I wouldn't say I was bored exactly, but that's only because I was drinking pretty heavily. Um, so, uh, yeah.
Vic00:22:25It's taking a dark turn. The review has taken a dark turn.
Sonny00:22:28Yeah, I mean, it just, it's like that extended sequence where he's, like, playing football and it's battle. I love that. Oh, my gosh. I know there are people who, like, that is their, like, favorite scene in movies. Yes. Um, it's terrible. It's just terrible. It's preposterous. It's funny. There's no, there's no redeeming, it's not funny, though. Also, he's a quarterback. I laughed. Can I still laugh?
JVL00:22:51For people who haven't, I saw it recently, I'm still laughing. Vic, can you give us a 30-second summary of the movie? Yeah, yeah. Just for anybody who has not seen it.
Vic00:22:58Flash Gordon is a quarterback for the New York Jets, right? The movie was made in 1980, and he was getting on one of those, um, uh, you know, uh, Gulfstreams. You know, yeah, a charter flight, uh, along with, uh, Dale Arden, and, uh, at that very moment, Earth is being targeted by Ming the Merciless living on the planet. Mongo, and, uh, he's asking, like, what toy, you know, do you have for me to play with today? And in other words, what he says later, what Max von Sydow, or what Ming says later is, you know, they discover, they find little planets all over the universe, and they start hurling stuff at it, and if there's basically no reaction, they move on. But if there is a reaction, then that gets his interest, and then he really wants to start playing around to bring up, you know, to bring about. You know, pain and suffering, because it excites him. You know, I don't think he has any plan. They're not, he doesn't plan on moving.
JVL00:23:56In what sense would you say it excites him, Victorino? In many senses. In an intellectual and philosophical sense?
Vic00:24:01Well, it's Max von Sydow, so, you know, I mean, he does such a good job.
JVL00:24:05Spell it out, Victorino. It's a sexual sense.
Vic00:24:08It's a very, everything. It excites him in a sexual sense. In every sense. I would say in every sense. And then, uh, Flash and Dale, uh, so they got Hot Hail, and they've got Earthquakes and Floods, everything that's happening, uh, to Earth, and it's because of this.
JVL00:24:24Because Ming, Ming the Merciless has a machine with buttons that say Earthquake or Hot Hail, and he just pushes them, and then it happens.
Vic00:24:32You get it, right? This is wild. Okay, so, uh, they crash, and of course, uh, luckily they crash near where, uh, Dr. Hans Sarkoff is, and he's, he was a crank scientist from NASA. Nobody believed him about this other, um, intelligent, uh, life form that, so he basically had to. Uh, planet, uh, Mongo, and nobody believed him, but it turned out to be right. So they get on a rocket ship, and they end up at Planet Mongo, so he had a program to go over there, and, uh, they meet, you know, Ming's minions, and immediately they, they realize that Ming's minions are hostile, so they take them in, and, uh, and then Flash, uh, Gordon realizes that, you know, why are you doing this to us? And it's because he just wants to, you know, Earth is his plaything for Ming, and he's going to destroy it, and so, uh, Ming, uh, he's going to destroy it, and so, uh, Uh, Flash has to save the day, and, uh, with Dale and Dr. Zarkov, and, uh, and what happens is, uh, how he does this is not single-handedly in and of itself, but rather by rallying all these members of, uh, of, of Ming's empire to turn on Ming, because they basically serve under him, uh, they work for him in fear, so you have the Birdmen, right, Voltan, and then you have... Hawkmen. The Hawkmen. Hawkmen, and you have the, um, uh, Timothy Dalton's men, the Forest Men, Arborea. The Arbor Men. Arborea? Yes, Arborea. Uh, so you, uh, so he has them, you know, he, it, it takes time to, for them to get the courage, uh, to defy, uh, Ming.
JVL00:26:08Okay, I'm sorry, Vic, I have to step in, you're skipping the most, you're skipping the most
Vic00:26:11important part. Oh. Which is Ornella Muti, the princess? Princess Aura. Princess Aura? Alright, well, and you know who else is instrumental? Uh, in overthrowing Ming is his own daughter, Princess Aura, played by the great Italian actress Ornella Muti, and I think, you know, part of it of course is how she looks, how she dresses, and also that amazing accent, I, that, you get, you know, bonus points for the accent, um, and, and she's lovely, and there's even a great scene of her fighting with Dale, uh, having a little pillow fight in, in the bedroom, I mean, this movie's got everything! Of course, they've got the, the, the, the tilting, um, arena with the spikes, and they've got whips, and, uh, and, and, and it's supposed to be Flash Gordon vs. Prince Baron, um, and, and, and Clytus, I love, Clytus was my favorite, and, uh, yeah, I mean, this had every, this had everything! Uh, and it was fun, it was funny, this is fun, funny, um, again, as JVL said, I'm quoting lines. I mean, the dialogue, I mean, it's not Steve's Alien, okay, I, I understand that, but, there, there are some funny lines, you know, some intentional, some not, obviously, uh, and then, and then the documentary was great because Brian Blessed plays, uh, Voltan, who's head of, who leads the Hawkmen, and there's a famous scene where, uh, Dale gets, he walks behind her. She's supposed to react to getting, you know, goosed, you know, where he pinches her in the ass. And, of course, Brian Blessed says that he actually did it, just to get a real reaction. He reached right in there, even though he wasn't supposed to do that. But if you listen to Brian-- It was a different time. It was a different time. And if you, you know, that's--
JVL00:28:04Because-- In the documentary--
Vic00:28:06Because today, that would cost him his career. Yeah, that would cost him his career. And, you know, you watch Beyond Flash, the documentary, and he talks about, and you can tell he's completely, he's, you know, unapologetic. He's like, "Yeah, I wanted to get a real reaction from her. Except from behind," you know, and that's how it is. So we have him to, you know, tease the reason for that. So again, it's, and we have, a lot of people love this movie, but, you know, I mean, for me, a lot of it is obviously nostalgia too, you know, because it reminds you, I was a kid. Again, I was seven. It was in the movie theater. So we saw it in the theater and I thought it was wild. And then we got it on VHS and it just, yeah, that was it. And there were certain scenes that are just the mind erasing scene. It was that, that was just, you know, for Dr. Zarkov, Kala is going to empty his minds like we are emptying your pockets and you go backwards, but not really back, kind of backwards forwards. It's weird. Not actually backwards. No, but it worked. It totally worked. And you can see, so it goes back to his time at NASA and of course, World War II and craziness. So I, yeah, that's for me. Sonny, are you being bombed?
Sonny00:29:17Yeah. I, uh, yeah, no, this, it's like, I'm reliving the, uh, the World War II scenes from his memory. I, uh, I, I.
JVL00:29:25Any last words, Sonny, before the bomb hits?
Sonny00:29:29I was, I was a little bit confused by the mind erasing scene because they're like, all right, now put them back to level three. And then the, the Nazi chick is like, no, do it to level six. I have no idea what the difference between level three and level six are.
Vic00:29:43Level six is supposed to melt his mind, but Dr. Zarkov. A human being. So they totally, you know, they mis-underestimate the humans. And of course he is a brilliant mind and he was able to, as you know, as he says, by, by even memorizing songs from the Beatles, he says, and the Talmud, he kept quoting the
JVL00:30:04Talmud to himself.
Vic00:30:05He was thinking if he, if only, if he were a rich man, if, if only he were a rich man, that's what he was saying. Um, as you know, because that was Topol from Fiddler on the Roof, uh, so, uh, yes, um, that was that. But, and, and there are certain scenes that I think were horrific, uh, like horrifying or terrifying, I should say, when he has to put his hand, the initiation, the initiation in Arborea. See, I'm jumping all over the place because this is not my thing. As you can tell, reviewing movies is not my thing, but, uh, there's an initiation scene and he, uh, in Arborea among the Arbor men has JVL says, and, uh, a young guy has to put his hand in this, like a giant tree stump.
JVL00:30:46With like ten different holes and yet as you put your hand into it and there's a creature in there and if it goes into one hole, maybe the creature kills you and another hole you survive and then are initiated. And they are terrifying.
Vic00:30:56Yeah. So I, I, maybe they like, well, if it was meant to be, it was meant to be and, uh, and the one guy does not get it. Um, now here's an interesting thing. So the one guy, uh, who does, who, who gets, you know, he gets stung by the creature living in. It was like the creature. It's like covered in leaves and, and then he, he, he bleed and then, and then it only gets worse. They said that the pain only gets worse and worse than you lose your mind. And so he begs Timothy Dalton to kill him. I don't know if you saw this. I did. It's a very, very end of the documentary. That actor says he ran into Timothy Dalton and said, Oh, by the way, you killed me at flash Gordon. And he said he gave them like the meanest look, like, don't remind me. And so, I mean, one of the things in the documentary is, you notice. Timothy Dalton does not appear anywhere in that doc. He is not, you know, he did not take the request for interview. So I mean, I think we could tell how he feels about that now JVL. So what, I mean, that was me watching it from seven to, you know, now, 40 years later, 40 years later. Uh, but for you JVL, this was a first time.
JVL00:32:05So it's a different perspective and yet, so it's, so it's a disaster, but it is an incredibly weird and interesting disaster. And you know, I, I think I texted you, it's like wizard of Oz meets plan nine from outer space meets basic instinct, you know, like there's, there's so much psychosexual weirdness happening in it. Yeah. And maybe I wouldn't have loved it so much if I didn't love you, but I feel like I, this was like, you, you finally under, you finally got me finally get you Rosetta stone after many years. Now you know how this mind works, unfortunately, I understand everything now, uh, it all makes sense really does, you know, so I, there's just, so here's the thing, I mean like a lot of bad movies, they're crap, but there's a bunch of really interesting filmmaking going on here, particularly with regards to set design and costuming and they must've spent a bazillion dollars. A bazillion dollars on the sets and the cause that's why the, actually the sets and costumes are really why I thought, I think Wizard of Oz because they're elaborate in the reason a four K restoration of this would be good is because you would like to see more detail of all the work they don't set. All I could think of actually was in the first Thor movie, uh, all of the, the, the interiors of Asgard, like throne room, which was all CGI in flash Gordon, it's that sort of aesthetic, but done practically. It's built. Yeah, yeah.
Sonny00:33:45And I, I am, I, I have to jump in here because every time I looked at the screen, I saw like sometimes the actual literal seams in the costuming, like the costumes all look like crap. They look like they were iron on like gold stripes and stuff. I mean, it just looked terrible that those lizard people, what even was going on there?
Vic00:34:09I like, I, their faces are in the mouth and they have eyes.
Sonny00:34:12The movie was wild. And it's not, it's not, it's not even that it like, that, that the costuming is bad though it is, it is that it looks cheap. I mean, it just looks cheap and chintzy and like, I don't know what you're talking about with this.
JVL00:34:27Like Timothy Dalton's shirt, all of the Hawkman stuff, I mean, in, in, in Mongo, the, all the
Vic00:34:37stuff. It's also the imagining of what, it's like a sci-fi imagining from the 1930s. So there's a lot of that going on. The rocket ships and everything.
JVL00:34:45You're in a scientifically advanced place where light is often gained from torches. Yes. Yes. That's right. Right. I mean, they, they have cosmic rays and yet they had torches to provide light in the dungeon. That's right. That's right. I mean, um, no, I thought that like the sequencing, I mean, it looked like it was handmade by a bunch of old Italian ladies. Right. Um. Cause I think it literally, it literally cost a gazillion lira probably, a gazillion. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe more. Uh, yeah. It, and there's stuff that's so crazy in it. And it's like, like, you know, Dale is being forcibly married to Ming at the end and they've gone to all these pains to like draw an alternate world and say, but in this alternate world on Mongo, when there's a marriage ceremony, they play the wedding March, here comes the bride.
Vic00:35:30Is it Mendelssohn or is it Wagner? It's Wagner. I think, you know, he's, he's, he's that influent. His stuff goes, his stuff goes out there.
JVL00:35:38Uh, it's, it's, you know, the Hawk men are all leather daddies. Yeah.
Vic00:35:43There's a huge, like gay biker among the Hawk men, leather daddy thing going on, but
JVL00:35:49there are no Hawk women.
Vic00:35:51I don't believe it's a good poor all Hawk men.
JVL00:35:54Uh, and the, my God, um, it's just so that, but it's all about princess aura, everything. The whole movie is about princess aura. Yeah. Well, I think, right. And, and this is, and Vic is about princess aura. Everything I ever needed to know about you. I now know by having watched princess aura, because the way she moves, the way she talks, the weird, I mean, clearly she has banged her father 100% when she's asking him to have flash and she's basically saying, you know, I'll let you put it anywhere.
Vic00:36:33If you let me have flash, not the boreworms, not the boreworms, where they boring scene
JVL00:36:39where she's being with a cat of nine whipped with a cat. Oh nine tails when they, when she and flash show up in Arborea for the initiation ceremony. First you just hear the initiation ceremony. It's basically a bunch of guys in drumming circle who are jerking off together. That's exactly what it sounds like. Oh yeah. My cookie. And she gets, she stops and she gets this breathless ecstasy about her. She goes, Oh, I love the initiation ceremonies because she just like gets off on debt. Everything about it is insane. Talks about the, her pleasure moon. Yes.
Vic00:37:15That's right. That's right. Because that's how she managed to save. Flash was with the doctor. Right? Yeah. Cause she's banging the doctor.
JVL00:37:22In addition to Prince Baron, in addition to, I mean, she would bang the Hawkman and Fulton was interested, but he's not, you know, he goes the other way. Uh, 100% we know that I think, you know, and then you can, so I w literally, I was planning to watch only the documentary or flash, whichever was shorter.
Sonny00:37:42Uh huh.
JVL00:37:43And I wound up even the flash is a little bit longer. I watched flash instead and I was so taken by that I immediately watched the documentary afterwards.
Vic00:37:51I'm so glad you watched the movie.
Sonny00:37:53The, uh, so there's the clearest, do you remember this? Where's the documentary?
Vic00:37:57Uh, it's on Amazon. It's called beyond flash. It's primable. And it's really about Sam Jones and what happened.
JVL00:38:02It is mostly about Sam Jones. Who's actually the least interesting person in all of this. I think. I mean, he's an interesting. He's an interesting life.
Vic00:38:09His personal arc, his real life arc is interesting. Yeah.
JVL00:38:11Yeah. But so Peter Winogard, who plays Clytus, who is the head of the, this is Sonny. You're going to love this.
Sonny00:38:19Who, who plays Skeletor. Cause that's yeah. Basically he's Skeletor. He's basically the He-Man. He's like the live action He-Man Skeletor is what he reminded me of.
JVL00:38:27Yes. So on the day when they shoot his death scene, he shows up on the set and basically tries to argue the director out of killing him. And it's all because he thinks there's going to be a sequel and he wants to get the job in the sequel.
Vic00:38:41He says at the end of the documentary, he says the hand that picks up the ring is his. How does he explain how he survived being impaled and the eyeballs again, a vivid scene in that movie is where he gets flash Gordon impale. He impales him and the it's so shocking because it's eyeballs and tongue.
Sonny00:39:04Yeah. It was pretty grotesque. It was great. This is really, this movie really pushes the PG.
Vic00:39:09Yeah. Well in 1980. You know, you can get away with a lot back then sexual stuff.
JVL00:39:14When Prince Azara is basically jerking, giving flash a hand job in the, the, the rocket ship after she secrets him away from Mongo and she's, she's basically going down on him while he's flying the ship. Uh, I thought to myself, this can't have been really PG. Totally PG. Oh, it was.
Vic00:39:36Yeah.
JVL00:39:37Oh, it was talking about breeding Dale and I will breed me is going to take his power potion before he breeds Dale.
Vic00:39:43That's right. That's how he would do it. I had the Ming, the merciless action figure. Of course you did. And it was the tall one, you know, like in the olden days they were tall, the 12 inch figures.
Sonny00:39:5510 inch figures. Yeah.
Vic00:39:57The Migo one. And they had a diff. He had the black helmet. You could put the black helmet on him because he has the battle outfit, the battle outfit. Now, uh, one of the, the great stories from the, that documentary also is, uh, Sam Jones saying, you know, they would be, you know, he would be reading his lines and there are certain scenes where, you know, uh, Max von Saito is, you know, he, he's, he's out of the shot, but he still insisted on wearing the full heavy costume, which weighed, you know, a ton and Sam Jones asked him about it later. And of course Max von Saito is like, well, it's getting to character, you know, it's what we do. You know, this is acting. Uh, and he's great in it. I mean, it would not have been a movie without, well, without Onrella Muti, obviously, but also Max von Saito, you know? So can we talk a little bit about Sam Jones?
JVL00:40:42So Sam, the weirdness of casting this guy who's a terrible actor as your lead in it, he was when you've cast all these other real actors and other parts strikes me as crazy.
Vic00:40:55And they thought like, oh, he's going to be the next big thing. I don't know because what was, he was in 10 with Bo Derek, right? He played the husband and he's the guy who falls asleep, um, in the, uh, as the boat goes sailing. So he gets severely sunburned. And I think it's Dudley Moore who saves him. Uh, and then he was, uh, I think, uh, a Playgirl centerfold. And then he does flash Gordon. So that's that, that was his, and then, and then he walks off and he walks off or his
JVL00:41:22fire. No. So, so here's my question for you, Vic, because you know more about this than I do it. So in all the accounts, so he, you never hear his voice in the movie, which is again, weird.
Sonny00:41:34He is, all of his lines are dubbed, fired, he was dubbed because I threw out the entire
JVL00:41:39thing.
Sonny00:41:40Cause I was curious because it like, it, it, it didn't seem quite right, but I know, I knew he wasn't like, he's not Arnold Schwarzenegger or like, he's not an Italian.
JVL00:41:50Like there's no reason to dub him or Lou Ferrigno, uh, uh, spite. The reason to dub him was spite. So when it sounds like what happened, but it's somewhat unclear from the documentary is that his agents told him agent some way, some way through production, uh, you can get more money out of them now because you're in the middle of shooting this thing and they can't lose you. It's a big movie. So go to Dino and get more money and Dino evidently, uh, something happens. The crew is given a week off for Christmas break because they've been shooting in England and Sam goes back to the U S for Christmas. I think they were at Pinewood probably. And never comes back and it's unclear to me, even the documentary, we're only really dances around. What happens here?
Vic00:42:41He apologized to Dino many years later and he said he blamed his representation, but doesn't even really get into it. But obviously when you're, if you're butting heads with Dino DeLaurentis, I think we know who's going to win that.
JVL00:42:53You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But what was unclear to me is how far along they were because it says that they came back to keep shooting. So they clearly shot some stuff without him, but I don't, couldn't understand what, what it was.
Vic00:43:06No. My understanding was that it was all post-production when he didn't come back. Okay. But maybe, you know, there are certain scenes that they, that they didn't need him.
JVL00:43:11But how bananas is that? I mean, imagine, it is, it's so much more bananas than replacing Kevin Spacey in All the Money in the World with.
Vic00:43:23Christopher Plummer.
JVL00:43:24With Christopher Plummer. It's so much more bananas than that because then you're like reshooting with a, this is just the title character in our movie and the leading man. We're going to use another guy's voice throughout the entire movie because fuck him.
Vic00:43:36Yeah. Right.
JVL00:43:38Yeah. But that is. Sonny, doesn't that pique your interest?
Sonny00:43:41Like how does it like. Yeah. No. Well, I mean it. It's crazy. I will say that it, it, certain things about the badness of the film snap into place. Um, when, when, uh, when I, when I understand that everything was redubbed by somebody who wasn't the actor, um, because again, like part of it, part of it is the line readings are all just wrong and bad, um, on his end.
?00:44:08Yeah.
Sonny00:44:09Well, I, I mean, who, I, I don't, I, I will be honest, this is bad producing, frankly, like I don't care. I don't care. I don't care what, I don't care what he demanded or, you know, you figure some way around it, uh, and then you screw them afterward. Um, but like the, the, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's a bad movie. So it doesn't shock me that's, that something like this happened.
Vic00:44:34So Victorino, can we talk like for two minutes? Melody Anderson. We'll talk about Melody Anderson cause she's great too. And she didn't have much of a, you know, she did some work after, but not a lot. She did a TV special, uh, on the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and, and that's just me remembering it now. I haven't looked it up, but I'm pretty sure she was in that. And she was in a horror movie, a horror movie with James Fantino called dead and buried. And that I saw at home when I was a kid and that is awful where, uh, with the great, Oh, what's his name? Albert. Uh, I forget his last name, uh, and it's a, it's, it's a mortuary guy and he was creating basically zombies by killing people and populating the small town with dead people who had come back to life. But they pet cemetery like, um, a very dark movie, uh, which I believe is available online that had buried. Okay.
JVL00:45:32Go ahead. JVL. No, I was, I was going to ask you about from the documentary. Um, the stuff about Sam, so you seem to have, you know, you have Brian Blessed and Max von Saito and Timothy Dalton, all of whom are real actors with real careers. And then, but they're all the supporting actors basically. And the main guy. And your two leads are, are Melody, Melody Anderson and Sam Jones who have almost no careers post this. Right. And now all they do is like go to conventions. Yeah. And like sign photos and stuff. Comic-Con. It's, it's busy. Which is. I guess people.
Vic00:46:13That is a sad. People, people make that into a full time.
JVL00:46:15I mean the shots of him like setting up plastic tables. On his own. At Comic-Con. He's doing it by himself. Like. Yeah. Man. That is. Uh, just hustling for like living off of having been flashed Gordon, even though you're. Yeah. Anyway, it sounds, I mean, again, it sounds like this guy had a very hard life. He found God. That was key. Yeah. His dad died early. Yeah. Uh, brother killed himself. Um, when he was a teenager. And he sounds like he had a ton of drug problems in the late seventies and early eighties. Who would've thunk? Yeah. The extent to which like drugs are the hidden explanation in almost all this stuff. Right. Like, like in Tiger King. Oh. And in like this. Right. The explanation of how a bad movie like this gets made. Drugs. Has to be. Like. Are people involved in this production, do you think, were taking drugs often throughout the Inception production and post production?
Vic00:47:13Oh. Remember, remember all the stories about Robert Altman's Popeye? No. You know, the scene, they were filming there in, wherever they were filming on, uh, uh, somewhere in the Med, I think. Weren't they? That, in the, on the island. And, and there were references. It was like, it's basically one giant orgy. You know what I mean? It was, you know, and it's, it's the movie with Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall. Yeah, no, I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, it was such a mess. But, uh. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, that was Robert Williams at the, the heyday, if you will.
JVL00:47:42Yeah. Yeah. I, I don't know, man. The whole. Anyway, yeah. The whole thing is so bananas that I loved it and I see exactly why it is a cult classic.
Vic00:47:53Yes. Thank you. Thank you. And I. Sonny has said a total of 10 words this show.
JVL00:47:58I know. I know. This is what I'm saying. That I, I, I agree with your, Sonny, I agree with the idea that you can't make camp on purpose. Mm-hmm. But what happened here, I think, is that, again, you had two factions within the production. Yeah. One of which was trying to make camp and the other of which thought they were making Star Wars.
Sonny00:48:16Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I mean, when your director thinks you're making camp, you're making camp.
?00:48:22Well.
JVL00:48:23I mean. Like that. You know, unless the producer is the guy who is, like, in industry himself 'cause, you know, Mike Hodges, his, his filmography after this is not huge. Mm-hmm. Um. Yeah. You know, he's got 26 credits total.
Vic00:48:37Yeah. I mean, I. He said, uh, you know, in the documentary, they, you know, he said he, he, he was puzzled why Dino hired him to direct Flash Gordon and he asked him about it once, you know, it got off the ground and he felt more comfortable that his job was safe and he says, "Why, why me?" And, and according to Mike Hodges, Dino just said, "I like your face." And that was it.
JVL00:49:01There's a, one of the stories in the documentary is the, how they cast Topol. Right. Who's Topol? Topol. He is the Dr. Max. Dr. Zarkov. What's his name? Dr. Zarkov. Dr. Zarkov. Uh, so like, you know, the day before they've got to lock their cast in, uh, Dino and Hodges are sitting talking about who, and they had two people who they liked equally. And Dino literally said, "Well, let's just flip a coin. I do this all the time. I make, I make decisions this way all the time." I thought to myself, is this a Harvey Dent thing where he's like, you know, "Oh, I make my own luck" or because it's a double-sided coin. And he knew what he was doing? Or is this guy such a fraud who just happened to like luck into his career that he actually is just making decisions by flipping a coin?
?00:49:45No.
JVL00:49:46I don't know. It's crazy. I loved it. I loved it too.
Vic00:49:51I understand you. I thought it was wild. I love you. I mean, I understand, likewise. It's great.
JVL00:49:56And I hear, oh, cheers.
Vic00:49:57Cheers.
?00:49:58Cheers to that big guy. There you go.
JVL00:50:00I... Oh, right.
?00:50:02You too, Sonny.
Vic00:50:03Sure. I was seven. I thought it was hilarious. I mean, also, I was in the theater. I was high as a kite, you know? But anyway.
JVL00:50:11Vic, here's a serious question. As a young adolescent, how many times, roughly, would you say you drifted off to sleep at night thinking about Princess Aura taking you to her pleasure moon? Because I don't know what a pleasure moon is, but it sounds amazing. And I bet 12-year-old Vic wanted to go to there.
Vic00:50:31I think, basically, it's like hedonism. The size of a moon. Hedonism like Jamaica? Hedonism? But it's only her moon.
Sonny00:50:40Hedonism. Only for two people. I don't understand how it can be a pleasure moon.
Vic00:50:43I just get tired after two people. It's just a while. But, yeah. Well, it's, you know. It could be just, you know. Here's the other thing. A lot of bodies.
JVL00:50:51Sonny, how old would you say that Princess Aura presents as in this movie?
Sonny00:50:56I don't know, like 25?
JVL00:51:00Good answer, Sonny. Good answer. I was gonna say 25. I was gonna say 17.
Vic00:51:05No. No. No. No. No.
JVL00:51:10No. No. At least. Maybe 19.
Vic00:51:14At least 18. No. Maybe 19. All the patterns are set here. She was in her early 20s, I think, when she filmed that Ornella.
Sonny00:51:1925. She was 25. She was 12. There you go. I loved it.
Vic00:51:2425. I mean. It's the eye makeup that makes her look younger. She doesn't look 17 in this movie. Did you like how Princess, not Princess, Kala was killed and how she dies? She, like, turns into Jedi. Oil. She turns into a black oil that melts into the grates. Yeah. And her network of operators doing their thing, apparently all you have to do is rip one of their glasses off. Yeah.
Sonny00:51:46You rip one of their glasses off. That was actually the most terrifying thing in the movie. That was shocking. When they took the guy's glasses off and you just see, like, the holes with the wires.
Vic00:51:52The holes with wires that looked real. Awful. And, again, as a seven-year-old, I thought that was amazing. So, I just, you know.
Sonny00:51:58Yeah. This movie is definitely, like, if we ever did one of these shows about, like, the never-ending story, you know, which came out when I was, like.
Vic00:52:07Oh, you'd be all about it.
Sonny00:52:09Five, probably. You'd love it.
JVL00:52:11You could say it's supposed to be that. What are you guys doing next week?
Sonny00:52:13Oh, God.
Vic00:52:14No.
JVL00:52:15I'm totally serious. I think we should do formative movies.
Vic00:52:18Die unendliche Geschichte. Yeah. I have that book. I have that book in German. I have the never-ending story in German.
JVL00:52:24Does it end the same way?
Sonny00:52:25I never finished it. Well, it has never ended, so. That's right.
JVL00:52:32Did you, Victorino? Yes, JVL. Did you ever see any of Ornella Mutti's other work?
Vic00:52:37No. No, no. I haven't. Just photos.
?00:52:41I haven't actually seen her other work.
JVL00:52:43Because that's, I do have to say.
Vic00:52:44It's a very Italian '70s look.
JVL00:52:49The one thing this lacked was an Ornella Mutti nip slip for you. Oh, right. No. Yeah. Right. What 11-year-old Vic really needed. Pretty close. It was just one little .
Sonny00:53:05Pretty close with the cat-of-nine-tails scene.
Vic00:53:09Yeah, they have her splayed out there. That was, you know, but that was too much. That was too much. Okay. Great. I'm glad we got, I know there was so much hype, but people are going to be so, people are so excited that we're going to talk about this movie.
Sonny00:53:26I think it's, you guys had a very good conversation. I just didn't care for it. I'm sorry.
Vic00:53:31I like- You're like me watching that awful Steven Soderbergh movie. Widows. No, no, no. You know, I only have to talk about Widows because I was just not, I was like, ugh. I was like distracted at the time. In and of itself, I was just in a bad mood. But I'll tell you the movie that I really did not like that we did for the show is that one, Steven Soderbergh. He filmed it on his iPhone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. High Flying Bird. High Flying Bird. Nothing ever happened in that movie. And just when you, okay, finally we're going to get to a basketball game and they don't even show the basketball game. The whole thing. That guy was totally ripped off. What happened?
JVL00:54:06I don't even know what happened. We all hated that, though. None of us liked it.
Sonny00:54:09No, I think Sonny liked it.
JVL00:54:10I thought it was fine. I enjoyed it. Sonny liked High Flying Bird, but he didn't like Flash Gordon.
Sonny00:54:14Yeah, one is good and the other one is Flash Gordon.
JVL00:54:17Oh, terrible. Terrible. Okay. I don't know how to answer that.
Vic00:54:21I don't know how to answer that either. How are we doing on time since this is recorded on two segments?
JVL00:54:26I think we're fine.
Vic00:54:27Okay. We're done here. All right.
JVL00:54:30Great. By any chance, did anybody else see it? No. They didn't.
?00:54:34You know what, though?
JVL00:54:35Did your dad, did you ask Dr. Matus to give us a little text? No. Hey, Dad.
Sonny00:54:41What did you think of Flash Gordon? I didn't.
Vic00:54:43Oh, you should have. That would have been great. I forget. No. I haven't spoke to him. I spoke to my mother. Text him right now. What? Are you watching now? No. You know what's funny? Speaking of Gene, when I was re-watching Tootsie, they do a couple montages. And there's one montage with that corny Tootsie song, the theme to Tootsie, which is maybe Christopher Cross, I don't know. But it shows her becoming famous on a cover of People magazine. And in one of the things, at photo shoots, and one of the things is her being interviewed by Gene Shalit. And it's like Chop, it shows a couple of stills of them shaking hands and stuff like that. So, speaking of Gene, but no, there is none. I wonder what Gene's review was actually, I have to look back on that. Okay. Corrections, shout outs? Anything?
JVL00:55:42You guys? Hey, I'm paying attention to the news. Is Val Kilmer still alive? He's fine. Hey. He. You noticed that? I said he. Hey. We. He is fine. This is like putting the ruby sunglasses on Scott Summers. We have found a way to harness Vic's powers for good.
Vic00:56:01And that Kim Jong Un, by the way, it doesn't look like him. I'm just telling you right now. I saw a picture.
JVL00:56:05Oh, you think it's a double bear?
Vic00:56:06I think it's a double like Dave.
JVL00:56:07His double?
Vic00:56:08It's like Dave.
JVL00:56:09All of these autocrats do the doubles? Yeah. No, Stalin. Absolutely.
Vic00:56:16You got to have a double. Absolutely. Saddam? Yeah. That's right. That's right. Okay. There was something else, and it slipped my mind, so we'll have to move on. Did you have any ... Oh, really quickly. Did you have any thought ... This is what I thought we were going to talk about before we went into Flash was Tenet. Tenet, they say, is going to save the movie industry.
Sonny00:56:40I feel like we talked about this a little bit last week. Did we? I don't remember.
Vic00:56:47I mean ... It's coming out in theaters. It's going to be in theaters.
Sonny00:56:51We're going to see it, right? Yeah. It's still on the release schedule. We'll see if theaters are open. I don't know. I don't know. All right. It's the only thing that has kept me from just literally ... Jumping off a building. If that movie doesn't come out, this show has been great, but you'll have to find a third.
Vic00:57:09Wow. Special thanks to long-time listener Robert Little, who sent me the Aviary Cocktail Book. This thing weighs about 50 pounds. So thank you. It serves two purposes. One is a cocktail book, and the other thing is I can now lift weights. I can just do bench pressing with the Aviary Cocktail Book. That's Grant Ackett's, right? Grant Ackett's in Chicago. This is his crazy idea of a bar, which obviously there's no way this thing exists in the future, but anyway, thank you very much.
JVL00:57:39You know, I have to thank Robert Little as well, because he sent me some birthday butter powder.
Vic00:57:44Wow.
JVL00:57:45Okay. Well, there you go. Thank you, Robert Little.
Sonny00:57:48Thank you. The person who runs the office and has been going in to get mail and stuff said I got a book about shoe shining, so I assume this also came from Robert Little. Maybe it is for Robert Little. I'll just assume. One in doubt.
Vic00:57:59One in doubt. Robert Little. Also very cool. He sent me a note that was typed on a Groma Colibri, which is a DDR typewriter, the kind that is used in the lives of others. Dusselet Vandrand, very, very interesting stuff. Very cool. Okay. Wow. That's all the time we're given to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments, tweet us @SonnyBunch, @VictorinoMattus. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher. Just type in SubBeacon in a podcast. We're there. Send us a review. Tell your friends. Until next time.
?00:58:32Sonny, we've got to find a way to boost experience here. I don't know what we can do. I know. He's shaking his head. I know.
Vic00:58:37What JVL? I got two great presents for my birthday.
?00:58:39Oh, yeah.
Vic00:58:40The first-
JVL00:58:41We didn't even talk about your birthday. Happy birthday. The first was a video message. A video message from Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
Sonny00:59:01That was pretty great.
JVL00:59:02That was very good. So Cameo seems to be what Fire of the Fire Festival kind of thought it was going to be, which is the Uber of celebrity endorsements, not even endorsements, but messages, and so what Cameo has figured out is, no, the celebrities aren't going to go up here, but they will take 25 bucks or 200 bucks or 500 bucks a pop to send you a video message. And the Hacksaw Jim Duggan message I got was so great. How exciting. That guy can still rock the mic. And the other thing I got was a new watch. Let me hold it up for you boys to see. Whoa. Whoa. Look at that. Wow. A swatch.
Sonny00:59:46Look at that. It's just black on black. The hands. Hamilton.
Vic00:59:50Yeah.
JVL00:59:51Because nobody could see it. It's a... Khaki Aviation Xcopter. This is a pilot's watch for helicopter pilots. And basically, now, if we got an evac from the homestead here in Woodbridge, Virginia, I'm ready to take the stick. If it's like, you know, last helicopter out of Saigon style, I got...
Vic01:00:14You know, it's two different things. It's not like... The pilot has a heart attack. It's not like an airplane. It's two different...
JVL01:00:19It's very... Exactly. Exactly. I've got the MTOW, the max takeoff weight calculator on this thing, the conversion scale for Fahrenheit to Celsius in addition to the chronograph, so I can make sure the rotors aren't iced. I'm basically ready.
Vic01:00:35You'd be like Schwarzenegger in "True Lies" when he flies the Harrier. That's basically what I would be.
Sonny01:00:41It's amazing. Wait. How does the watch figure out the weight?
JVL01:00:44Hmm?
Vic01:00:45Yeah. How does the watch figure out the weight?
JVL01:00:47It's too complicated for me to bother explaining to you. All you'll do is make fun. It uses its RAM. It's because it's got a full gig of RAM. That's how it figures it out.
Sonny01:00:57Do you turn... Does it have a slide rule? Do you turn dials until you get to the right number? Yeah.
JVL01:01:02Oh, man. Do you know there are watches with slide rules built into them?
Sonny01:01:06That sounds about right.
JVL01:01:08The Breitling Navitimer, I think, has a slide rule built into it. Anyway, it's just the hottest thing. Well, that's all the time we have for watch talk. Thanks very much.
Sonny01:01:16Thanks very much.
JVL01:01:17I'm sure it's fine.
Sonny01:01:18So what do you guys got? Anything? Nothing? I got nothing. Didn't you say you had something for the end of the show? Was it this?
JVL01:01:25Yeah. It was this. It was my watch. I'm sorry, Vic. I'm sure it's fine. Vic.
?01:01:30No.
JVL01:01:31Hold on. Serious question. On how many occasions have you asked your wife to dress up as Princess Ora for you?
Vic01:01:38Well, she has the outfit. No.
?01:01:40I'm just kidding. No.
Vic01:01:42She doesn't even know what I'm talking. She refused to watch the movie.
Sonny01:01:47Smart. She made a good choice.
JVL01:01:52I'm sure it's fine.
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