The Sub-Substack

← all The Sub-Beacon episodes

#68. The Lighthouse, Fancy Faucets, and HD DVD

2020-06-05 · 56:48

Listen to this episode ↗on Substack, where the show lives now

Vic picks Robert Eggers' The Lighthouse on the theory that two men in isolation looked interesting, then spends the episode apologizing for it — "I made a bad mistake, a terrible mistake" — grading duration, violence and sex/nudity all A's (the last, he notes, includes some self-abuse) while giving plot a D because he was counting on the other two to explain the ending. JVL supplies the explanation and then demolishes the film: Willem Dafoe is Proteus, Robert Pattinson is Prometheus who went too close to the light and now has the gulls at his liver, the final shot means he's left purgatory, and all of it is "half-baked artsy-fartsy film school rejects kind of stuff" — a precious bit of cinematic masturbation stuffed with alcoholism, homoeroticism, Greek myth and Lovecraft that never pays off, because a director is allowed to leave questions unanswered only if he knows the answers himself. He does praise the sound design and the foghorn, the claustrophobic 1.19 frame and the gag of Pattinson banging his head on the top of it, and resents watching it on an LCD whose black levels couldn't do the black-and-white photography justice. Sonny, who saw it theatrically at the Landmark E Street and bumped his Letterboxd rating from three stars to four on rewatch, admires the hammy insanity of both performances but finds the unreliable narration keeps it from quite working, and still much prefers The Witch. Elsewhere: JVL purges two attics and 4,000 pounds of junk including his HD DVD player, only for Sonny to admit he keeps his still hooked up to watch Blade Runner once a year; a detour into Criterion's laserdisc Ghostbusters and Public Enemies reappreciation; Vic's par-3 round at Burke Lake and a boozy lunch at the Palm that ended with him climbing out through the retractable window into the bushes; and JVL's closing parable about the touchless Delta faucet he responsibly didn't buy and has resented every day since.

From the show notes

#cdata-section -------------- In this latest episode sponsored by Tommy John and DoorDash, we discuss the indie-horror film The Lighthouse

Full transcript
Vic00:00:00Watch us fill your beans Watch us fill your beans
?00:00:15Watch us fill your beans Let me go, let me go, let me go Let me go, let me go, let me go
Vic00:00:37How long have they been on this rock? The Sub-Beacon is sponsored by Tommy John and DoorDash I'm Victor Matus and this is Sonny Bunch I'm Victor Last Just a reminder, The Sub-Beacon is available on iTunes, Google Play and Stitcher Look on our podcast and search for Sub-Beacon You'll easily find us Please subscribe Tell your friends And leave a review Gentlemen, how are we? Okay, moving right along
JVL00:01:05Yeah Hi Victorino Vic, did you do that haircut? Or did you take yourself out?
Vic00:01:11Thank you for asking, JVL I was thinking about going back to my barber, Habib Habib? Habib, from Morocco, from Casablanca You have to call ahead There's no walk-ins I think this is statewide, right? You have to call
JVL00:01:25For Mr. Popularity like you, I'm sure he'd make an exception
Vic00:01:29Well, there's no sitting around I do like to sit around and glad hand, as you know But I'm not going to I want to follow the letter of the law I don't want to get Habib in trouble So, but no Today, I did it on my own And I thought I did 85% of it on my own And So I have my Norelco razor I put the It's a 5mm, which I use a number 2 clip And they don't have those number classifications on the Norelco It just goes by millimeter But the closest thing is about a 5 Between a 5 and a 6 So I did a 5 The only problem is the back But Kate Hey, turn around, let me see it Kate Hey, that's a good look Well, that's because Kate did the back part So She's always scared I've got this bump in the back of my head Oh, I know all about that You know And Spear your beads That's for you That's where they put it in the Matrix You know, they plug me in the back there So Anyway, so yes I just I spent a lot of time staring at that bump on the back of your head You never told me all that time
JVL00:02:37Okay
Vic00:02:39Wow Wow, this is taking a very interesting direction here Direction
JVL00:02:44I can't stop thinking about this movie, that's why
Vic00:02:46Oh, yes Well Hmm Okay, we'll get to that in a second More than a second Do you guys have anything you want to share?
JVL00:02:54Can I Can we talk about that picture I sent you guys on Saturday?
Sonny00:02:58What picture? I don't remember
JVL00:03:00I texted you guys I was cleaning out both my garage Oh, yeah Oh, yes, you found some old tech stuff And attic number one Because my house has two separate attics And I threw out, I don't know, 4,000 pounds of stuff And I opened one box which had in it all of my technology From what year? From decades past And in one box I had both my Sega Dream Dreamcast player Along with all the memory units and controllers and doodads A corded phone for which I had purchased an extra long cord So you could walk around Aftermarket extra long cords that I could go to You could walk around Mobile Every place in my studio apartment in Courthouse, Arlington I could get to every square inch of it using that extra long cord Why did I keep this? Why did I? I have not No, I know Owned a telephone I know, I know In 20 years Why did I keep this stupid cord? And also the phone itself wasn't that expensive It's like a $15 phone But the big one was my HD DVD player For which I paid, I think, $400 Maybe $500 at the time when it came out And I don't understand why I held on to it But I literally just threw it away But the best was Sonny, whose response to the text was Huh, I still have my HD DVD player set up Literally, so I can watch my HD DVD of Blade Runner once a year
Vic00:04:34Literally How many movies do you have on that, on HD DVD?
Sonny00:04:40I still probably have something like 10 movies on HD DVD I should have kept mine and sent them to you I could have doubled your library It would have been amazing We probably had some overlap
Vic00:04:51I remember, JVL, you showed me part of Casablanca Because the clarity, it was so good It was so sharp It was like you're in the, you're at RKO watching it or something 1930, or what, '43, whatever it was
JVL00:05:04The TV wasn't an HD TV
Vic00:05:06No, no, it wasn't, but it was still that good It was so good
JVL00:05:11Was it rear projection? Was it push the limits of 420i?
Sonny00:05:14Yeah, I actually, so I bought a, an HD DVD player In part, I can't remember, I can't remember if this is true now I'm just retconning it in my head But I bought an HD DVD player in part because I had like one of, I had a CRT HD TV So like a cathode ray tube
JVL00:05:38Weighed 900 pounds
Sonny00:05:40It weighed 130 something, but it was only, it was only like a 36 inch diagonal screen So it was, it was small and incredibly heavy But, the bonus, the best part was, it didn't even have Uh, an HDMI port It had, it had, um, uh, component cable So one of the reasons I bought the HD DVD player was because it had component cables And maybe, maybe the Blu-rays did as well And I might just be like retconning this all in my head
JVL00:06:14So this, this thing could not have been 1080 or 720 It must have been 480
Sonny00:06:19No, it was 1080, it was 1080 No It was Really?
JVL00:06:24The full 1080? Because there was a while when they would When they would classify So, not, standard definition was 420, I think And there was a while when they would even classify 480 stats As they were like, well, it's quasi-HD It's HD, upgradable, convertible, blah, blah, blah And then there was like a halfway step to 720 And there was 1080i 1080i and then 1080p It was a 1080i, that's what I had And then there was a full 1080p
Sonny00:06:50I had, I had, the CRT, the, the, uh, CRT was a 1080i I remember, and I remember being like What am I missing?
JVL00:06:59Look at all the 80s I have I have 10 of them I have 10 of the 80s
Sonny00:07:06It was a, it was a golden age of technology The TV's in my parents' basement somewhere
Vic00:07:11That's good, that's nice for the guest, for the unwanted guest The unloved guest gets that TV I had, when I lived at the Kennedy Ward I had the rear projection flat screen And the thing with, you carry that What I hated about those If you remember rear projections How off the weight was if you carry it Oh yeah And if you carry it the wrong way One slight tip And the whole thing is just going down And it had the built-in DVD player Into the TV So that you pressed It was a Panasonic, I think And it would come out And then you could put the DVD player Until one day The ejection button broke And that was the end of it And to this day, I guess Embrace of the Vampire is still inside there Lucky treat Lucky treat for whoever gets that one Anyway
JVL00:07:57That's all I had my graveyard of lost tech That's nice Did you throw it away Or did you end up still keeping it? I threw it away I threw everything away You threw it away?
Sonny00:08:07That's too bad
JVL00:08:07I threw everything away I was remorseless
Sonny00:08:10Did you even look on eBay To see if you could sell that HD DVD player? I bet there's a whole community of people Who are like, I need parts for my HD DVD player That's breaking down
JVL00:08:19I'm sure there was But it's a slippery slope Because you start with the one Oh, I could get $45 Or $42 from this maybe If I list it and I put it back up At some point you just have to say I am going to forego income It's not worth it In the name of just getting all of this done Right now, today And we could have a Hootenanny up in my primary attic Now there's so much space
Vic00:08:44What do you think would be more in demand nostalgia-wise? HD DVD or Laserdiscs Laserdiscs are huge Good news for
JVL00:08:55Good news for Dr. Matus Yeah, for hipster, I would say cinephile hipsters Laserdisc is What vinyl is for audiophile hipsters
Sonny00:09:03I think I've said this before But I, so I got a There was a Criterion Collection Art book that basically Had all, it had all of the covers That had ever been released for the Criterion Collection And The most fascinating thing that I discovered While perusing this There's like a big montage in the back Like the last 20 pages are just Like all of the covers, like one after the other But the most amusing thing that I discovered While perusing through this was That the Criterion Collection Released Ghostbusters
Vic00:09:34Oh
Sonny00:09:35So there is a Criterion Collection Ghostbusters Laserdisc because they were One of the only like real Laserdisc Companies, like they just like So there are a bunch of movies like that That are like, not necessarily Criterion movies But have a Criterion release
JVL00:09:52And the big one is the theatrical Cut of Star Wars The only place you can see the theatrical cut of Star Wars Without any of the Without any of the extra special gold Plated diamond sapphire edition Lucas special Is Laserdisc Jabba the Hutt
Sonny00:10:09I thought the VHS, they did a pre-special Edition VHS I have that too, that is also in my parents Basement
JVL00:10:17That's gotta hurt your eyes though, you can't watch
Sonny00:10:19Could you watch VHS Well no, now it would be terrible But the There's also a VHS nostalgia community And those people make me sick A bunch of sickos A bunch of redeviants
Vic00:10:31A bunch of disgusting perverts I need to get a VHS player because I got a bunch of cassettes, I'd love to play them
JVL00:10:39Oh boy Fellas, how are you? Victorino? Sonny? What's going on boys?
Vic00:10:46Sonny, what's going on? How is it down there?
JVL00:10:49Pass
Vic00:10:50Okay, Victorino Well, two things One, yeah, I was very excited about The reopening Of things Last week And I had done two things One, I played golf With two friends of ours Mike Warren and Dan Halper An 18 hole out And Burke, which is way out there It's not by me Burke is not way out there
JVL00:11:19Burke is 20 minutes from where you live
Vic00:11:21It took me 30 minutes with no traffic It took me 30 minutes 30 minutes is what it takes to go anywhere in Washington Don't go talking about Burke
JVL00:11:29As way out there
Sonny00:11:30It's not true When I lived in Alexandria it took me 12 minutes to get to the office
JVL00:11:34There is no place in the Washington D.C. area That you can go in under 30 minutes
Vic00:11:38In any event It was 18 holes, I shot a 93 Hey, that's not bad
JVL00:11:44Except they were all par 3's Oh, you played the Burke Lake Park Par 3
Vic00:11:50Yes, Burke Lake Park Burke Lake Park Par 3 Which is a total ego booster I got like several pars
JVL00:11:56Did you ever take the kids there to ride the train?
Vic00:11:59No, no
JVL00:12:00They've got like a One quarter scale mile train One quarter scale train And you hop on and they have like a real carousel It's a great place When your kids are like 4 It's perfect, so you've missed it
Vic00:12:13Yeah, it's over But it's one of those morale booster ones If you can get a couple pars you feel good about yourself The worst part is Halpern had the best score And then it came to me And then Mike, Mike had a hard day But it was nice to see those guys at a distance What a damn shoot 87, 88 We were having a badder day And then Warren was like 100 I think or something like that But you know, so it was good And then the other thing is that same day I went into the city to have lunch And I went to the Palm Which the front part was allowed to be open Because the windows are retractable So they're wall size windows, right? The front is all window You remember like George Will and Krauthammer They would sit in the front Charles would sit in the front So that is retractable And so that became outdoor seating And I was there with two colleagues And I told them It was very important to support the restaurant community So order as much as you can And so that was that I didn't have I actually did not have that much What was the damage? Oh, I don't know Because Harrison picked it up God bless him God bless him I had a couple more times I had a couple martinis Some red wine And then the problem was I just thought I could slip out through the window thing Instead of having to You know what I'm talking about, Sonny?
Sonny00:13:32So I walked So you tried to hop the like bar there?
Vic00:13:37So I go through the window thing I forget there's all these bushes
Sonny00:13:41Yeah, there's a whole array of bushes there
Vic00:13:43Yeah, but like they're high too So I basically made my way through the bramble And then magically I was home How lit were you? I got home Thanks to Uber I got home and My daughter was in the middle of Her virtual piano lesson So I'm walking up the stairs Kate already opens the door and she goes Upstairs, go upstairs right now Go upstairs, I couldn't like And I'm like, what? What's happening? And then upstairs she goes, just go upstairs And go to bed
JVL00:14:14I said, it's 4.30 That was I'm so glad we're talking about The Lighthouse
Vic00:14:23Oh, yeah, yeah, right, we'll get there We'll get there in a second, hold on Oh yeah, we'll talk about that because, you know, I'd like to know If that was us, who was who? And I'm telling you Right now, I'd be Willem Dafoe, okay? I'm telling you Right now
Sonny00:14:33There's only two characters you can choose from I do not want to be It's a movie about you and me And you're William Dafoe I'm the mermaid
Vic00:14:43Yes Okay, we'll get to that in a second Well, I had a transition But okay, we're good We used a transition anyway, which was It was good I had a steak there But I wanted to get a wedge salad Because I love the wedge, but I don't love wedgies Speaking of which, Paul Crookston Is back on the show To talk about our sponsor Tommy John Paul, take it away
Sonny00:15:09Thanks, Vic I happen to hate wedgies, too That's why I'm here to talk about the Father's Day sale At TommyJohn.com As we all know Father's Day can be stressful Trying to find the perfect gift for Dad Thankfully, Tommy John The revolutionary underwear and clothing brand Knows that comfort is for everyone Yes, even your dad Give him the softest Most breathable base layer he's ever worn Tommy John's new and improved Men's underwear is now twice As durable as his current pair And infinitely more luxurious I guarantee it Plus, Tommy John is offering Their best Father's Day deal ever With Sub-Beacon listeners getting 25% off site-wide Including easy-to-gift sets That you can order straight from your phone Directly to Dad's door If you've worn Tommy John before You know their underwear and undershirts Feel great That's because they are built for next-level comfort The same goes for their lounge pants Lazy Day joggers Right up to their soft and Zoom-meeting-approved polos and t-shirts For the softest you or your dad Has ever worn Tommy John has you covered Be sure to get your order in Before June 17th To ensure that your gift arrives before Father's Day Tommy John is so confident In their underwear that if you don't love Your first pair, you can get a full refund With their best pair you'll ever wear Or it's free guarantee Tommy John, no adjustment needed So Here's how you can nab The perfect gift for Dad this year $25 Off site-wide at TommyJohn.com Sub-Beacon That's TommyJohn.com For 25% off site-wide Sub-Beacon S-U-B-B-E-A-C-O-N See site for details And back to you guys
Vic00:17:07Thank you Paul Notice how calm and relaxed he sounded Ever since they legalized marijuana I think there's something going on with Paul It was very mellow and chill I'm kidding I am kidding Paul is Paul is a saint He's just taking his sweet time Okay Before we get to the big movie I did want to jump in Can I just mention this I don't know if I told you JVL I told you I wanted to see it I finally saw Public Enemies You know what I remember being so excited to wanting to see it And then I remember hearing people say they didn't like it And so I ended up not watching it And so I was I don't know why people didn't like it So I finally watched it I thought it was fantastic Why did people not like it Is it because it didn't remind them too much of Heat Was it the weird Sort of they switched cameras at some point It was kind of weird And the other thing was Or did they think the characters Like Christian Bale's character Was not developed enough If you can remember I know I'm just throwing this out there
Sonny00:18:14I thought it was great There were definitely Some weird things about Public Enemies when it was first released One of them was That it was shot on It's one of the first Big, really big movies From like a genius level Auteur that was shot on The digital Film Or digital videotape Whichever camera system
Vic00:18:43Some of the shots looked very Computers
Sonny00:18:46It's actually a fascinating movie Like this in Miami Vice And I think to a greater extent This Has like a very Distinct Aesthetic to it One of the things that These cameras do It allows much better light pickup In low light situations So you have these You have these kind of Smeary Visuals That That That Are largely a function of like Low light but also like not needing As much light to pick up the image But like this has A really really great effect In a few very distinct scenes The forest shootout in particular I love that sequence so much The one where
Vic00:19:37That took place in Wisconsin I think it was called like The Bohemian Lodge Or something like that
Sonny00:19:42So there's this great shot in that sequence Where Stephen Graham's Scarface Or whoever
Vic00:19:49No no no no no Babyface Nelson
Sonny00:19:52Babyface Nelson Like he Gets hit While he's trying to shoot his Tommy gun And he just starts shooting it up in the air And you can see like the individual Flashes And it's just a fantastically Beautiful shot
JVL00:20:09Several shots like that
Sonny00:20:10There's just all sorts of weird I mean the big problem with this movie is that it is set up as It is set up more or less As a Heat style film where you have like The male Alphas, one good one bad Squaring off against each other right But the problem is that Christian Bale's character Is essentially an incompetent Like he is actually, he is the one who is Playing the Pacino Character If we're using Heat as the As the Antecedent right The problem with the movie Is that the real hero of this thing is actually Stephen Lang's character Is actually the The guy who actually Shoots Oh yeah, Winstead
Vic00:20:53From Avatar
Sonny00:20:55So Stephen Lang's character is actually The alpha male, no bullshit Yeah, he's really good I'm like the competent one Who is here to set things right But he doesn't appear until halfway through the movie So it's a very Strangely structured film It's not And I think that Might be one of the reasons why people were Kind of put off by it People also didn't like the Johnny Depp Love subplot, they thought it was Marion Cotillard
Vic00:21:26She was fantastic At that That was A plus across the board
Sonny00:21:32Public Enemies is a movie that has Undergone the Reappreciation process I think it is rising in esteem Just like Miami Vice, which is now considered One of Michael Mann's best films It's funny watching
Vic00:21:46Public Enemies now because It's star-studded In retrospect
Sonny00:21:51Somewhere John Podhordes is listening to this whole segment
JVL00:21:54You can't even understand
Sonny00:21:56What they're saying The sound mix is all wrong Heat is a terrible movie Get off my lawn
Vic00:22:04Wow We're really trying to trigger him Pretty Boy Floyd Is very brief in this movie Chanting Tatum
Sonny00:22:14Great one scene Performance Jason Clarke This movie has a ton of great actors Jason Clarke
JVL00:22:23Giovanni Ribisi
Sonny00:22:26We should do it next week
Vic00:22:27Giovanni Ribisi It's very good
Sonny00:22:31What's his name from The last season of True Detective And Blade
Vic00:22:37Wesley Snipes No He said Blade Stephen Lang
JVL00:22:45Stephen Lang is the villain in Blade
Sonny00:22:48Stephen Dorff
Vic00:22:50Homer Van Meter Homer Van Meter It's crazy Billy Crudup as J. Edgar Hoover
JVL00:22:58Great cast We'll do this next week
Vic00:23:01Instead as we mentioned earlier I I wanted to see this movie Because it looked interesting I should have known that it was from the makers of Under the Silver Lake So I wouldn't understand what's happening
Sonny00:23:13It's not, well it's from the same studio
Vic00:23:15Same studio We're talking about The Lighthouse Which came out last year It's a black and white film
Sonny00:23:22Shot in 1.37 I was going to say
Vic00:23:261.19 It's shot as a square Yes And using old lenses Actual old lenses they used I read somewhere And it stars two people Robert Pattinson, Willem Dafoe Sonny, do you want to give a You saw this earlier No, but I don't even want to Before we even start Sonny
JVL00:23:47Victorino Why? I was curious I don't know
Sonny00:23:53I thought, oh this looks interesting
JVL00:23:54Legitimately Because we said last week We said, Vic, you pick I know, I know The world is yours
Sonny00:23:59Give me another chance Give me another chance Because I blew it I didn't see it
Vic00:24:02I wanted to pick a movie that
Sonny00:24:04When I looked it up on Wikipedia
JVL00:24:06Having never heard about it before And I thought to myself What the fuck is Vic thinking?
Vic00:24:12Two men, isolation It looked interesting It looked interesting And yet I realized I made a bad mistake A terrible mistake But Sonny liked it That's all I should have known I should have known And so again, like I said You're like porn stars It can't just be normal anymore It's got to be wacky, wild and crazy All sorts of things going on So yeah, I fully admit I made a mistake I look forward to the next time I get to choose a movie I have already seen and like I took a chance You made a mistake
Sonny00:24:43I made a mistake You tried something new and different I did
Vic00:24:46I said, well, it's Hour 49 I like these guys And I really gave it my You know, I was sober You know, that was always good
Sonny00:24:56You actually watched this after going to the prom
Vic00:24:59No, no This time I did not But that was a weird movie Okay It's a weird movie Sonny Explain something
Sonny00:25:08The Lighthouse Stars Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe As two wikis They're keepers of a lighthouse off the coast of somewhere or another It's the early I'm sorry, the late 1800s They are The movie is about the madness of isolation Which is actually why it makes it a perfect movie For our current moment Yeah Robert Pattinson plays the younger of the two, obviously He's training to be a lighthouse keeper He's the underling of Willem Dafoe's character Who is a harsh taskmaster He demands that the Floors be swabbed, you dog And all that good stuff Look, it's a very strange movie I'm not going to lie It's a very strange movie It is very much
JVL00:26:00You have to give people more plot than that If you're going to tell them it's a strange movie Sonny
Sonny00:26:05Well, I mean You can't just say, oh, there are two guys
JVL00:26:10One training to be a lighthouse keeper There are two guys You need to explain to the people why this is strange
Sonny00:26:16Cthulhu Well, no, it's not Cthulhu It's just a kraken Look, here They're on the lighthouse Robert Pattinson is slowly going mad Because he's actually an insane person Who has committed murder in the past We learn as the film goes along I don't know How to describe the plot of this The plot of this is actually harder to describe Than the plot of Under the Silver Lake In some ways
Vic00:26:45They just have to get through four weeks
Sonny00:26:47They just have to get through four weeks They As the action progresses It becomes clear
JVL00:26:56Air quotes around action As the action
Sonny00:27:00As the action progresses It becomes clear that Robert Pattinson is not a reliable narrator He is Imagining things We see, you know What could be either dream sequences Or waking nightmares Or something From his point of view The That kind of distorts Everything else in the movie That we see So this is very much A movie where you have to kind of just go along For the ride What I love about it And this will perhaps be a dodge But what I love about it is just the Complete and utter hammy insanity Of the two performances Willem DeFoe obviously is like known for playing A good crazy person And their His Thomas Wake is a Very fine example Of that just you know thundering Oratory and all that good stuff And Robert Eggers The director he made The Witch Which is one of my favorite horror movies Of the last you know 15 years or so Robert Eggers Has a way of shooting Both of these characters very Starkly very it's very Much you know kind of low angled Up lots of shadows on the Face and on the walls And Robert Pattinson is fantastic in this As the you know kind of In over his head But also Quickly going insane Junior wiki At this lighthouse There are also as JVL hinted there is some Tentacle action Some hot tentacle action in this film And also some hot mermaid action If you've ever wanted to know what's down there For a mermaid
Vic00:28:45It works, it works is the answer Yes
Sonny00:28:48Anyway I wouldn't say I love this movie I like it I admire certain things about it I do think it is a little Obtuse and Obscurantist I don't think I'm using that word right It is it's just like It tries The unreliability The unreliability of the narrators Makes the whole thing Not quite work for me Except for the fact that it does Also kind of work I think it's a great movie about Insanity and the madness That comes With isolation And being around somebody you hate Constantly And I It's not going to be for everyone It's a divisive movie That's for sure
?00:29:39JVL
Vic00:29:40What did you think about This
JVL00:29:41Who cares what I think
Sonny00:29:44Dick
JVL00:29:45I am confused as to why you are so Calm about this Because last week You lost your ever loving mind About a movie that was truly good And you said things like What is the point
Vic00:29:58America, real America Don't watch this movie about LA
JVL00:30:03Why are you not up in arms Over this thing
Vic00:30:06I don't know, I thought about this On the quadrants it's funny Because it The duration is an A It's less than two hours The violence is an A What is the A for the violence There's one scene of violence basically It was pretty good And the sex nudity was an A It does include some self abuse As Willem Dafoe would say But the plot was a D Because I just didn't understand I was anticipating That you were all going to tell me You knew the ending Like you can explain it to me
JVL00:30:42Well I mean we know the ending As much as Eggers knows The ending So you were not like Actively angry at the movie while you were sitting there Watching The Lighthouse
Vic00:30:56No it was maybe because it was not as long Maybe because I wasn't Sort of in a surly mood After you know Having been a little bit more sober Watching this movie It was weird It was weird But you're right I don't have the same reaction I don't know why But it does feel like I mean you know New England is weird One of these films is a great film
JVL00:31:22And another is a precious bit of Cinematic masturbation
Vic00:31:26You did not like
JVL00:31:27And you are just like You're going full anti-anti
Vic00:31:31We were just talking about this before the show No I was trying to figure out If I was going to go into this And you were going to be like Oh yeah, it was totally obvious about what happened in the end And I was thinking of different scenarios And one of them was you were going to say Oh yeah, it was so obvious that Robert Pattinson is a mermaid Because in the end He's covered in barnacles He's naked And the seagulls represent all the sailors And they're eating him out literally
JVL00:31:58I thought that's what you were going to say
Vic00:32:00That's an interesting read Okay, I thought you were going to say Oh, it's so obvious that this is all Robert Pattinson's head It's a dream and in fact He's still in Canada chopping wood And the guy is still there Also, it's present day, it's 2019 It's like the village in Night Shyamalan But no, so you don't really know Why he is naked Covered in barnacles being eaten by seagulls Because he's Prometheus
JVL00:32:24That's why Is that it?
Vic00:32:29Because he dared to What was in there?
JVL00:32:33All of this is symbology Where Willem Dafoe's character is Proteus The old god of the sea And Pattinson is Prometheus And this is why he is He went too close to the light And now he's having the birds peck out his liver But it's also about Him leaving purgatory Because he's in purgatory And you'll notice when we come back in at the very end I knew you had an answer He is no longer dressed He's not actually on the island anymore You notice the landscape is different And the buildings are gone And he's naked And so he's moved out of purgatory All of this is just like half-baked Artsy-fartsy film school rejects kind of stuff And there are some things to like about it And I'm glad the movie was made
Vic00:33:24I think Willem Dafoe is a great actor And he delivers some amazing convincing I liked it I mean, they're based on these lighthouse journals And Herman Melville And it's very piratey But he could get away with it I mean, it sounds silly If you try to do it If you try to say what he says You're neglecting your duties, laddie But when he does it, I don't know I like it
JVL00:33:46Were you guys bothered by watching it on home theater? So Sonny, you had probably the best experience of us Because you were able to watch this on Plasma And Plasma has better black levels than anything else So black But even Plasma can't give you what Like commercial-grade projection Can give you in a theater In a theater Yeah, I saw it in a theater Oh, you saw it in a theater Because I was constantly annoyed That the only thing I liked about the movie Is the composition of it Black and white is very hard But it's beautifully shot It takes a lot of work to make it look good And I have a pretty good LCD set And I still found it quasi-unwatchable Just because my black levels weren't good enough To show me What he was trying to do here And so I was kind of annoyed by that I feel like this movie should Should have been in the theater
Sonny00:34:46And I really liked the gimmick
JVL00:34:48Of the size of the frame, too Because it's all about claustrophobia You know, like They really emphasize it When Pattinson bangs his head So the first time Pattinson walks into the room Of the lighthouse He bangs his head on the top of the frame Which sort of is a wonderful bit of reminding us The viewer's like, oh crap We're in a really small space here
Sonny00:35:10I like that
JVL00:35:11But, I don't know It hit the four quadrants pretty hard, Vic Nudity, tentacles, mermaid porn
Vic00:35:19That's what I said It's got it all except for the plot Sonny, when you saw it in the theater Did the curtains only go halfway then? Did it just cover?
Sonny00:35:27No, no, no They went all the way Yeah, I saw that at the landmark E Street I'm pretty sure And it was I mean, I I probably liked it more, frankly, this time Because I kind of knew what I was getting into I looked back at my first letterboxd rating Of this movie It was only three stars So, three out of five stars And I bumped it up to four Or either three and a half or four out of five stars this time Because I do I do kind of I think especially once it hits Like full crazy manic stride That like I can I can appreciate what Eggers is going for Just the The like complete psychotic breakdown of this individual Whether or not that is a compelling feature film I don't know I don't know I much prefer I much prefer The Witch I don't know if you guys have seen The Witch
JVL00:36:27Couldn't pay me to see that Yeah, you wouldn't enjoy it
Vic00:36:30Not for me Because it would be too scary Or it would be too bizarre and weird And I'd be saying the same thing What happened in the end All of the above
Sonny00:36:37No, no It would be too scary for JVL And also like just because It's actually pretty straightforward The plot of The Witch is actually pretty straightforward Oh, I'm sold It would just be too scary
Vic00:36:50I just want something I can understand One of the things The other thing JVL I just did I don't have the I'm just worn down I'm just worn down I don't have the energy that I had last week To hate it Yeah You're all spent I mean I Again, I like the sound design
JVL00:37:07If you like independent cinema Then you should be happy that a movie like this can be made And that the economics of it work And there are things to like about it Again, I like the sound design a ton I love the design of the foghorn I liked the way it was filmed And wished I could have seen it in a theater for that reason But as for the story itself It's just It's so precious And it's You know, there's alcoholism and homoeroticism And Greek myths And Lovecraftian horror But none of it ever really pays off And I I don't mind I don't mind movies where The film refuses to answer questions It is okay for a movie to raise questions and not answer them With one caveat Which is that the director has to have the answers himself And you're thinking He doesn't I think I think no I think for him The point of the movie is to raise these questions And that's what I You know You the viewer are given no sense that there is an actual answer to any of it And The ambiguity The combination of the pastiche of all the symbolism Plus the pacing Which is glacial Plus the sort of Aimless ambiguity of it
Sonny00:38:36Yeah
Vic00:38:40I felt like you last week I guess, no But I agree I was like What's the point? No, I agree with all those points Also A little less
JVL00:38:51But man, if I could jerk it to Scrimshaw Boy, would I That's man You gotta That's some hot stuff You know, I hear the original Club International He broke the mermaid
Vic00:38:59I don't understand
JVL00:39:00The original Club International was done on Scrimshaw
Vic00:39:03On Scrimshaw That's some good Scrimshaw Scrimshaw The other thing is, you know Alessandra and Alex If you want If you offer somebody a drink Come on, Victorino That was just for you That was really good That was great I would say if You know If somebody doesn't drink They have their reasons Don't force that person to drink Because I really think that was the turning point In that movie Is once Then they went
JVL00:39:27That's the other read on this The other reason is actually It's a very personal story about you and I With, you know You're the master You're the old veteran You can't drink with a wine I was the young guy You were like Have a drink And I was You know I was always like Eh, I don't really drink Come on, do it
Vic00:39:40Next thing you know We're dancing together
JVL00:39:41Let's go into Crystal's office And see what he's got in there Next thing you know
Vic00:39:44We're slow dancing
JVL00:39:45Okay, so Yeah
Vic00:39:47It's basically a movie about our 20s together Yeah, okay, great Lovely Hmm Do you have any other thoughts? This is a short show We could talk about Public Enemies again Go ahead
Sonny00:39:57I do I do love the The Again I Did we Did Did I can't remember But there's a great There's a great moment toward the end Where he's dragging an axe around And the score changes The score changes ever so slightly To sound exactly like the score from The Shining Which made me wonder again If this was, you know An extended effort to, you know Doing a Like The Shining The Shining is a movie about isolation And claustrophobia And the madness that comes with that
Vic00:40:32Even I caught that And that's probably because I was sober Yeah, well
JVL00:40:36I mean, I'm very I'm open to the idea that Willem Dafoe's character doesn't even exist Really, this whole thing is an episode that takes place in purgatory As Pattinson has died
Vic00:40:51It's like Jacob's Ladder Yeah, it Anyway Jacob's Ladder, at least at the end
JVL00:40:57You have to have the answers to your own questions When you're telling a story You have to know the answers to your own questions You can't just be like
Vic00:41:02Yeah, look, it's all so vague You could interpret it many different ways There's one moment that I thought was funny Which is when he, Robert Pattinson, insults Willem Dafoe about everything You know, his farts and everything else Your farts Your farts But also his cooking And Willem Dafoe is genuinely hurt When he says
JVL00:41:26Not even my lobster
Vic00:41:28Not even my lobster And I thought, you know what, I love lobster
Sonny00:41:31You like my lobster That's a great scene And again, I love I really love snippets of this movie Like that And I really enjoy the whole kind of like getting to know the island Like watching Pattinson go about his work And like do the various little odd jobs that he's required to do
Vic00:41:56It's a weird world out there Did you know they built a lighthouse? No Really? It's out in Nova Scotia
JVL00:42:04No, that is a They built it for Yes, it was done in Canada But they built both the outbuilding and the lighthouse itself Out of wood So not actually out of stone But that was an elaborate piece of practical set building Kind of awesome Yes
Vic00:42:23I was going to say about the That sort of New England culture Which is weird A good movie that sort of reflects Sort of weird New England island culture Is an old movie The comedy, the Russians are coming The Russians are coming If you get a chance to see that Where the Russian sub Which is commanded by a very young Alan Arkin Lands On a New England island like Nantucket Or one of these things And all sorts of silly 1960s Cold War antics But the way the characters behave People who live in these places I mean It's a very particular sort Of people who live there And I'm not even talking about They're not rich either But I mean they're just It's a very Spartan type of a culture According to my in-laws who tell me That that movie was very spot on In that way So that's all I have to say about that Anything else?
JVL00:43:26Protean farms From men's minds and melt and scorching Promethean plunder I mean this is Such a I'll tell you what I wanted to do You weren't offended in the name of Lovecraft Sonny you're a Lovecraft guy aren't you?
Sonny00:43:40No I hate Lovecraft
JVL00:43:41Me too And of course I didn't read
Vic00:43:45Her But I really It made me want to drink potable water That's what it made me want to drink watching this movie
JVL00:43:53It didn't make you want to drink kerosene?
Vic00:43:55Kerosene and honey That was impressive but you know what That's a thing you've done right I know somebody
JVL00:44:02Just tell it to me straight You've done it You've done it once Didn't you guys in the McDonald's Society Used to like go get a cabin out in the mountains
Vic00:44:09Once a year We did it was very much like the lighthouse In certain ways
JVL00:44:13But you drank kerosene
Vic00:44:15At one point you guys ran out of scotch And somebody said look we'll just do a shot Just one shot I know a friend of mine No names who actually contemplated Like they ran out of stuff to drink And she was looking at like a cleaning bottle From under the sink like well if we add this His name is B. Busteris No no he does not definitely not him Well college friend But anyway it's Yeah but he did not thank God But you get to that point especially I guess if you're stuck In a place like that College friend hold on I'm going through the inventory I will tell you after the show Speaking of lobster You counted on restaurants now they're counting on you And while their dining rooms May be closed they're still open for delivery With DoorDash. DoorDash is the app that brings you Food you're craving right now right to your Door ordering is easy open the DoorDash app Choose what you want to eat and your food will be Left outside your door with a new Contactless delivery drop-off Setting with over 300,000 partners In the US, Puerto Rico, Canada and Australia You can support your local go-to's or Choose from your favorite national restaurants Like Chipotle, Wendy's and the Cheesecake Factory Many of your favorite local restaurants are Still open for delivery just open the DoorDash app select your favorite local restaurants Your food will be delivered at your door DoorDash deliveries are now Contactless to keep communities we operate In safe right now our listeners can get Five dollars off and zero delivery fees On their first order of fifteen dollars or more When you download the DoorDash app And enter code sub-beacon that's five Dollars off your order And zero delivery fees on your first order When you download the DoorDash app In the app store and enter code Sub-beacon don't forget that's code sub-beacon For five dollars off your first order With DoorDash What happened to Michael?
JVL00:45:58I just texted you a name
Vic00:46:02Yes Yes Good call You know me and my people We really are
JVL00:46:10I knew I knew of your college friends Who you were talking about That's really impressive
Vic00:46:18That's really really impressive Wow
JVL00:46:22Sonny did you catch that?
Sonny00:46:25I have no idea Who that person is
JVL00:46:28Of course you don't But you understand that I From just a tiny little Little bit that Vic gave us I knew which of his college friends it was
Vic00:46:36He looked at it and he thought Okay
JVL00:46:38Like I know the back of his head
Sonny00:46:42And it's bats
Vic00:46:45What is coming out? What is coming out? Do you remember when we went to see Men in Black? Speaking of which, do you remember when we went to see Men in Black, JVL? I do remember that Do you remember and like towards the end I had a serious Gastrointestinal attack, do you remember this? I do remember that I could not, it was right around the time like I almost had An accident at the point where they're in the tunnel And the car goes upside down And they play the Elvis music Do you remember this with Tommy Lee Jones and the car goes
Sonny00:47:10It's like upside down
Vic00:47:11Yes, and it goes upside down through the tunnel like the Lincoln Tunnel or wherever it was I thought this is it It's happening now but I can't I don't want to miss it because the action was so good at Men in Black And somehow I made it through sweating and chills Back to your apartment And you were so kind Where you destroyed it These flip matches God
JVL00:47:31Do what you gotta do, buddy
Vic00:47:33Houston, we have a problem Okay Anyway Is there anything coming out that we can watch? No
Sonny00:47:42The world has ended
Vic00:47:45I don't even see Sonny's face Do I get to pick a movie one of these days? Yes, JVL, your turn You know what I was thinking of?
Sonny00:47:53Public Enemies?
Vic00:47:54No You know what movie came to my mind recently? It was Almost Famous That's a great It's a great movie that did not And it still frustrates me that it did terrible in the box office It really did bad You and I saw that together too It's just It's like the reason why you go into journalism None of those things actually happened to me And yet, that's why I would have gone into journalism And become Cameron Crowe Okay That's it So no other thoughts on that movie? Okay, wow Tentacles No, I don't know what was happening there But you know Correct Corrections and shoutouts I mentioned earlier that I played golf with our friends And one of them was Dan Halper He and my free-beating colleague Alana Goodman Have a new book out A Convenient Death The Mysterious Demise of Jeffrey Epstein Epstein? Epstein
JVL00:48:49Epstein I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole
Vic00:48:53So to speak From Sentinel Books Order it on Amazon You'll be hanging on every word
JVL00:48:59I hope They sell me They sell movie rights to this?
Sonny00:49:03Oh yeah, no, right
JVL00:49:04Man, I hope they get the movie rights to this sold That would be so great
Vic00:49:08I know, there's a lot of competition for that But that would be great for them It was like the number one book in the category of murder and mayhem I said to Daniel I said, did you ever think you'd have that? In murder and mayhem Anyway
Sonny00:49:22But wasn't it like true life murder and mayhem or something? Something like that
Vic00:49:26True crime Yeah, mayhem was one of the words though So good luck to Those guys, that sounds great Anything else guys, any other thoughts? No Okay
Sonny00:49:36Yeah, it's murder and mayhem True accounts There you go With the subcategory
Vic00:49:45Well, that's all the time we're giving to this episode Questions, comments, complaints, compliments Tweet us at SonnyBunch At Victorino Matus Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes, Google Play And Stitcher Just type in SubBeacon on a podcast, we're there Leave a review, tell your friends Until next time I have a parable
JVL00:50:31Ooh, like Jesus I'm here to teach the people
Sonny00:50:36The people
JVL00:50:37Uh, we needed to replace our kitchen faucet a few weeks ago and I I mean, first of all, it should be clear to everybody listening to this you never buy plumbing hardware at a big box store that's for suckers you go to a plumbing supply store because what happens is Moen and Delta will roll two things off the assembly line that look exactly the same, one of them the innards of it are made of plastic the other the innards are made of brass and the one at the plumbing supply will cost twice as much, but it will last for forever Uh, so I was comparing these two Delta faucets for the kitchen sink and one of them... Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry
Sonny00:51:21the sucker's bet is to go to the place where it's cheaper? Yes because that thing will be dead in like five years
Vic00:51:27I always go with the one the plumber takes out of his van when he replaces it. That's normally a good idea
JVL00:51:33because they get them all from plumbing supply So, uh there are two faucets, they are identical but one of them has the touch-free system where you just tap anywhere on this giant gooseneck faucet and it turns it on and turns it off for you
Vic00:51:49Suspicious already. And I
JVL00:51:51looked at it and I thought to myself, boy oh, I want that that looks awesome and, uh, but then I thought, well you know, we are in a global pandemic and there's a recession and unemployment is at 20, maybe 25% I should save the handful of dollars it is to do this because the other, it's a very nice faucet to begin with. What do I need the extra, the extra fanciness for? And since the very
Sonny00:52:21What was the price difference? You know, it doesn't really matter what it was
JVL00:52:25It does! My wife listens to this fucking show. I'm not going to say while we're recording what the price difference is But I was responsible and I got the cheaper one and I have resented it every time I have touched it ever since it was installed and honestly I don't know how much more I can take
Sonny00:52:45Did you install it yourself?
JVL00:52:47No, no, I didn't and I'm glad I didn't because plumbing is one of the things where I almost always go to a professional and have them do it and this thing was because the problem with kitchen faucets is
Vic00:52:58actually just access, right?
JVL00:53:00Trying to get back there is hard and it took this guy almost two hours to get it in and so it would have taken me a day and a half and then I would have called the plumber to do it anyway. I have a story Well, let me finish mine which is that at some point when my wife is not here, I'm going to buy one of the other faucets, I'm going to have the plumber back and I'm going to have him swap the touchless because again, they're identical, she'll never know the difference and I will then take this one and give it to Cherry or something or just throw it away because I can't I get filled with bile and anger every time I have to like a farmer, turn on the faucet by pulling on the little, we have technology now why do I have to pull on it like a fucking mope?
Sonny00:53:45Won't she realize the difference when she goes near it and it just goes on? The lever anymore? I don't know. You can
JVL00:53:52still use the lever. Or can you
Vic00:53:54wave your hand over and it goes on like that? Is that how that works? No, there are ones that do
JVL00:53:58that. I don't want, I don't like that. This one you just touch anywhere on the metal and it turns on. And so there's still, you can still use the lever. And so she won't have any idea. She'll just be She may accidentally bump it. She'll bump it. And then she'll be like, Oh, I must have broken it. But the lesson is that you should always get what you really want. Don't ever tell yourself, Oh, I'm going to save $80 here and get the cheaper faucet because I'm trying to be responsible. It isn't
Vic00:54:32worth it. It's not worth
Sonny00:54:34it. You should always just gratify
Vic00:54:36yourself immediately. That is 100% true with certain wines that I have in the basement that I have not told my wife about. Oh, wait, she listens to this show. Anyway, Sonny, you said you had a story.
Sonny00:54:48Yeah, very quickly. So when we were maybe six months before we decided to sell our house in Virginia, we realized we needed to like get the kitchen faucet replaced because it was leaking and like there was there were all sorts of issues. So we called. I like went to the store and I bought the you know, the I went to the big box store and I bought the hardware.
JVL00:55:13Like a sucker. And I
Sonny00:55:15brought it. I brought it back to the house and I'm looking at it and I'm like, boy, this looks pretty easy. I'm pretty sure I could do this all on my own. I think I could probably do it. And I'm looking at it and I'm looking at the box. I'm looking at it and I'm looking at the box. And then I was like, you know what? No, I'm just going to call a guy. I'm just going to pay somebody $200 to come out and do it. And I'm glad I did because the guy got here and you know, as JVL says, it's an access problem. You have to like get under the sink and you got to get like, you got to like get your hands up in there and it's hard. But because of the leak, all of the bolts had fused. It was like all rusted and fused together. So he had to get a circular saw out into that tiny little space and like cut it out from both sides, basically from the top and from the bottom. And what was, what like should have been like a 90 minute job for the guy ended up taking like five hours. It took him five hours to do. It would have taken me five hours to get to the point where I was just throwing things and it's like, F it! We're calling the plumber! So yeah, no, I am like very much in the camp of like, unless it is like a flapper in a toilet or something, just call somebody to come and do it because you never know what's going on with water. Like water can trip you up in a hundred different ways. First thing I do is
Vic00:56:41I call either Kate or her father.
Sonny00:56:46And they say, I'm sure it's fine.

Spot something wrong in this episode? Suggest a correction →

Comments

Loading…